Since I'm new, I'm almost too nervous to rant in case I make enemies before even having my first friend here. Besides, I'm still too fresh to warrant whining about something that hasn't festered for ages yet.

But dang it if I'm not upset.

It baffles me that some folks here would message me, or reply to my messages, showing interest that seemed genuinely ... genuine. (Snort. At the redundancy I mean.)

We set up a loose plot, I did research on my tablet, and we both seemed ready, then the replies stopped. I'm okay for waiting, but it eats me up when I see them posting literally everywhere from statuses to threads, and I haven't even gotten another reply.

I mostly feel grumpy that I let my mood be influenced by such petty stimuli though. My sanguine self insists not to push in case they are busy preparing for other roleplays, or they happened to hop on for a bit enough to reply only here and there.

And then my insecurity rears its ugly devil-horned head and cackles about my inadequate appeal as a roleplayer, writer, and- and- my logical self feels pathetic for being sad, then everything just went down a la Titanic, with the iconic BGM no less.

By the end of the day, I'm still too wussy to prompt or nudge them, yet I save a slot for them in case I end up being overwhelmed later on. (Facepalm.)

I'll probably feel stupid for this post in a foreseeable future (give or take a few minutes after 'Post Reply') but voicing this sludge in my mind, I hope I find at least someone who resonates.