Elann drew quiet and he watched her invisibly writhe in her thoughts. He was  quiet in his watching, as he always was, and remained that way even after she looked back up to him. She was petting at his leg, speaking up in a whisper. His name came first, followed by a question that struck a sense of worry in him as well. It was hard to watch her as she brought up all that was on her mind, each word heavier than the last it seemed, and Noah’s hand stopped stroking down Alena’s hair as he drew into a physical and vocal silence with Elann’s promise.

It seemed she came to finally understand the hurt that had been inflicted on him throughout the months, and a few months was a short amount of time in which requests were repeatedly made, seemingly without consideration for the past ones. He didn’t necessarily expect thank yous and commendations, but when so much was asked without pause, it was exhausting and he began to see she didn’t appear to appreciate the changes he had made for her. It was difficult enough adapting to the ever-flowing heavy emotions she often flooded him with. She was an intense creature and he was not, so the load of an overloaded bond and then stress of being asked to continually make progress with no break was too much to bear.

Elann retracted her hands from him and left him alone to think. His voicelessness allowed the silence to creep on into the caravan, only disturbed by the wagon’s wheels rolling over the bare road and the frame creaking when it swayed. The flap was closed, giving them the privacy for this conversation despite two sleeping persons very near. He was still reticent, uncertain if he wanted to speak and answer her words with a confirmation of some sort. He couldn’t hum and say he heard her because nothing would come from it. He wanted to choose his next words carefully because they would hold a great deal of meaning behind them.

Noah’s eyes fell from Elann and went to Alena at his side, his hand resting over her shoulder. He took a quiet breath, saying, “I don’t know.”

It was a simple saying but it was earnestly communicating his not knowing if he held the capacity to forgive her in that moment. Time enough had not passed for him to recover from their last spat, let alone the others preceding what was his final stand against her. He also didn’t know what she could do to earn his forgiveness and overall trust back. The course taken to the destination had been riddled with pitfalls and surprises for him, all emotionally jarring until he snapped as any being would when they felt mistreated. Him snapping brought nothing but an emotional hurt for Elann and then having the argument seemingly turn into the point where he was the perpetrator and not the one defending himself.

“You mean a lot to me,” he voiced, looking up to her again.

It was another statement that meant more than the words would allow. He could explain, and he probably should’ve, but the way he felt would only lead to him stumbling over his tongue. His words spoke of how he hadn’t left her because he clung to the hope things would change or he would learn to overcome his own problematic behaviors in order to spare either of them the breaking of a bond.