[img]http://i.imgur.com/89sqcna.png[/img]

Welcome back to the first annual Presidential Hunger Games election! Last time saw the death of six of our less impressive candidates. Trump was stumped, Hilary torn from the embrace of Deez Nuts, all while the former champion Abe Lincoln retreated into a cave. What comes next? Will we see a new champion emerge, or is Lincoln only taking a short break? Let us watch and find out.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/wq4wCtM.png[/img]

Mr. Rogers, the Bane of Hilary, rests after the kill. We nearly lost our second socialist Jew, but the Princess Leia spares him in the end. Is is strange that a billionaire aristocrat would save a man like Bernie, or has the lost of the planet she called home changed Leia's perspective?

Stubbs thinks about winning. And why should he not? I see the making of a champion in him despite the lack of kills. He collected a shield, and has learned archery. He hunted, even if it was for the least dangerous of pray; a Briton. What I see in him is preparation. He is biding his time until that moment when he can strike out with confidence, and because of that I say we shouldn't make assumptions. That cat might be our next president yet.

It is also confirmed. Lincoln is woken by nightmares. He entered the game with righteous bloodlust, killing Ron Paul and making an attempt on Hilary Clinton. After his brutal slaying of Kim Jonh Un, however, the blood on his hand has become too much for him to bare. He hides away in his cave now, experiencing flashbacks and regrets. Maybe he will survive it, or maybe, just maybe, the one to slay Lincoln will be himself.

But Putin isn't laying down. He slays Hitler with an arrow to the skull. Astute watchers will note that Putin also slew Stalin, proving that when it comes to the dictators, there can only be one. We must also reflect that Hitler was not an evil force in this world, nor a particularly dangerous one. His most notable achievement was becoming the little spoon to Shrek's benevolent big spoon. Surprisingly, Hitler was too gentle a soul for our election.

And also,

[img]http://i.imgur.com/rdxWLUa.png[/img]

Ouch. Shrek is a trooper, that is not the face I would make if that happened to me. 

[img]http://i.imgur.com/jVZhdeN.png[/img]

Dragyourtoesoff sneaks up on the sneakmeister, and we should respect him for that. Getting a drop on Vermin Supreme is a feat to be admired.

We also see Stubbs make a slingshot. This cat might be the most well armed contestant out of them all. He has no kills as of yet, but that might not matter. There isn't a more deliberate candidate on the field.

Lincoln's experiences might have changed him. Bernie, suffering injuries from his near-death to Princess Leia, finds an unlikely ally in Murderin' Abe. One has to wonder if this is a permanent shift. After reflecting on his deeds, has Lincoln turned a corner in his life? Are we seeing a man realize the weight of his crimes and experiences, and that he must do good for the world.

And Shrek, after his slow start, begins to show himself the killer that Lincoln no longer is. 

[img]http://i.imgur.com/o7P3B3P.png[/img]

Here are the honored dead, on a list that looks sort of like what a fourth grader with ADHD might write when asked to supply a list of his favorite historical figures.