[hider=Finalised section 5] [center][img]http://67.media.tumblr.com/d85404396cd920ea481c9dd2a3d8d632/tumblr_o8rjgeiPvk1u5gf80o1_400.png[/img][/center] [i][color=9e0b0f]If you curb the height of the swell in the center point and have it break at both ends instead, you can turn that bismarck-palm into an island at high tide.[/color][/i] I pull back my hand and thrust it straight at the little palmlet with such force that the sand it stands on streams upwards in a great spray of foamy mud and its young trunk sags on exposed roots, a victim to the gentle war between generations of seedlings and the hissing waves that ever deny the encroach of land beyond its allocated borders. Already the crippled bismarck is starting to lose its grip on the waterlogged earth. [color=9e0b0f][i]That was unnecessary.[/i][/color] Tensing the might of my arms, forcing them into their age-old curves of muscle, I slam the shore-ledge with a surge as it hasn't seen in decades. The sapling comes free and rolls, tumbles, floats out into the white-water, where its driftwood cadaver shall provide sanctuary to fry in the months to come. [color=9e0b0f][i]Oh. Good thinking.[/i][/color] [color=00a99d][i]Shut your whore mouth and begone![/i][/color] There is a perilous silence in which my shoulders sag and I must will them to hold their proper shape. My eyes are closed, and little does it help. It is impossible to say if I am alone. I, Flux, am dejected- A wretch. My might is useless to me. Such magnificence, and what good does that do which cannot cure my illness? [color=00a99d][i]No![/i][/color] Thinking like will destroy me, and I will not be destroyed. Never. [i]Never.[/i] But the thoughts come relentless. My lagoon beckons me. To lay in it like a bed and ignore the mental clamour... How much I would sacrifice to return to those days and come back healed! Lifting another step to wipe and churn the shore is an aching move. It takes focus. So I continue my self-appointed flagellation and walk on, hoping for time to pass, that flow that cures all ills. Its promise is empty, anyway. Each time I give in to the peace and lose shape in the blue sea I quake with regret and cannot rest. Once, in a great fit of work that swept the entire shore under clean white sand, I caught myself pulling the waves with two arms- On my left side alone. Would that I could tear off that tumour and have it be done. Would that I could have completed my task without its aid. And yet to lay idle beneath the waves is so much worse, for at least that abominable third arm was not flecked with black fragments of corrosion. Was, in some perverted fashion, my own. I shuffle the beach with my eyes closed as I pace. A simple routine. No, I will not abandon my reign, no matter how fiercely the disease should ravage, or how many times that Yivvin comes to blight my mind with his whispers. I will survive. This I have determined, for now and forever. My power might not cure me, but it has not diminished. Opening my eyes I see a long trail of thorough-swept shore behind me, patterned by the delicately woven tide-lines that have become my trademark. It is good. It is whole, a natural harmony, and mine is eye that determines the course of that design and the hand that enacts it. [color=9e0b0f][i]Funny.[/i][/color] [color=00a99d]"Leave! Away from me!"[/color] [color=9e0b0f][i]You've been blocking me too long. Doesn't it occur to you that our discourse wouldn't be so bitter if you would only listen, even for a few minutes?[/i][/color] [color=00a99d]"Your words mean nothing and I shall not humour them."[/color] My heel strikes the beach, creating a little pool. I shut my mouth and widen my eyes, and pace onwards, calling the waves to do as they are bid, and with every bit of their usual ardour. [color=9e0b0f][i]For one who ignores every word, you have a great deal of confidence in what they do or do not mean.[/i][/color] Upturn a shell there, wash up a sponge here, arrange them evenly and move on. [color=9e0b0f][i]You don't even know who I am.[/i][/color] It's a shame to cover up such a delicate trail of crab-prints. I wipe them clean and tumble a cowrie over the place where they had lain, leaving a new etching over the old. [color=9e0b0f][i]You haven't even considered it.[/i][/color] [color=00a99d][i]I know exactly what you are,[/i][/color] snarls my inner voice before I can hold it, and through my regret, I hope Yivvin can taste the hatred. [color=9e0b0f][i]Oh?[/i][/color] [color=00a99d][i]You,[/i][/color] I open, and there is no halting me now. [color=00a99d][i]Are a soulless symptom of the cancer that has tormented me day and night for four years counting. A wart on my mind, whining, snivelling, that mocks me for no other reason than that I am everything it will never be. A spiteful parasite that hinders my concentration to fulfill its lust for grief at my expense and that of my realm. You, Yivvin, are a bitch.[/i][/color] [color=9e0b0f][i]Eloquent. Guess again.[/i][/color] [color=00a99d]"If you are anything more than what I say then prove yourself and [i]fight me! Or otherwise shut up![/i]"[/color] [color=9e0b0f][i]Oh I'm tempted. You have no idea.[/i][/color] [color=00a99d]"[i]Then-[/i]"[/color] Something breaks, and Yivvin's voice is so loud that I can hear it even above my howls. [color=9e0b0f][i]DO YOU WANT TO BE FREE OF YOUR PAIN OR NOT?[/i][/color] [color=00a99d]"NO-"[/color] [color=9e0b0f][i]THEN SHRIVEL UP AND ROT ENJOYING THE SILENCE I WILL LEAVE YOU IN! WATCH ME! THIS PATH IS OLD AND I HAVE TREAD IT A THOUSAND TIMES AND WILL DO SO A THOUSAND MORE WITHOUT YOUR COOPERATION![/i][/color] I am cut off crudely before I can begin speaking again. [color=9e0b0f][i]Do you want me to leave, Flux? Just say the word. Ask. Ask and you'll have the high privilege of suffering alone, for then there will be nothing you can do to weather the illness. Some choose this path and I let them and they run mad beyond measure. If you want to fight, then fight the disease. See how long you can take it without me. Try. I dare you. Say it. Say 'go'.[/i][/color] I can not remember when I lost the energy to roar. It is very quiet now. Yivvin is waiting for an answer. He is... Tired. Or lying. Lying about everything. Maybe his departure [i]would[/i] cure me. Maybe he won't even leave if I bid him. Or cannot. If I take him up on his offer, would I at least guarantee myself freedom from one of the two symptoms that are causing me to degenerate from what I am? Would it be worth it to sell mind for body? Or will I look back at myself from the grave, and curse myself for a fool? I am no fool, and I do not want to die. So I mouth what I am too exhausted to speak. [color=00a99d][i]If you can heal my body and restore it to perfection, Yivvin, then do so, or else let me... Take my own way.[/i][/color] There is a deep sigh. Far away, I am sure, a creature must be running its wiry hands through its hair. [color=9e0b0f][i]Stand up, Flux.[/i][/color] Comply. [color=9e0b0f][i]Walk. Just a few steps. Over there. Stand on the water[/i][/color] Comply again. [color=9e0b0f][i]Take the waves in your hands and on your back and through your sons, and, on my mark, pull them. You will need to stretch and twist, and quickly, so do so. Do exactly as I say, when I say it. It will take time. Are you ready?[/i][/color] Having to tense just to avoid falling apart drop by drop, I take the waters upon me willingly. [color=00a99d]"Do not try my patience, Yivvin."[/color] As the moons take their hours in which to cycle across the sky, I raise the tide, as is my way. And Yivvin speaks. The movements I am bid to make are not so far from what I have always done. No, indeed, they are the same. I fear deception, for no greater comfort comes from my duty than on every night before. And yet, a noble being of my word, I do not protest, and Yivvin holds his idiot tongue from snide banter. The hours roll. The waves swell. This is the rhythm of my very being, as it always has been. I surge forth. And I draw back... ... [color=9e0b0f][i]...Flux?[/i][/color] [color=00a99d][i]Silence! I am performing my sacred task![/i][/color] [color=9e0b0f][i]You are finished, Flux.[/i][/color] My eyes are as open as always, but my concentration has been so pure, so clear-minded and fixed that I have neglected to actually observe the beach before me. It is clean, by my handiwork, as every night before. Swept free and turned over and renewed and changed. And changed, indeed. They are [url=http://photo.accuweather.com/photogallery/2010/2/500/1b68dd860.jpg]formations[/url], loops and halos and canyons and striated ridges in the sand. Each layered as the shore deposits matter and removes it in its way. Carved by the passage of water over many hours as the waves recede. They draw my gaze and channel it down whirls and hollows, a puzzling thing, a dynamic, elemental wonder... I have never done such as this before, and, yet, am I not great? Was this not easy? I flex my chest, roll my shoulders. They are intact. Soon the shapelessness will set in again, but while I am at work, they retain form. [color=00a99d][i]Always the same toils, and I regret them not. But all the land and the sea and the air of this lagoon is under my dominion. My realm is diverse. Ever-changing. I am its renewal, its natural cycle. And I, too, can be renewed. Nature innovates. The sea has many faces, and forms many shapes.[/i][/color] [color=9e0b0f][i]That's one way to see it.[/i][/color] [color=00a99d]"Quiet, worm,"[/color] I growl, and bunch my hand into a fist, quelling the waver that has sprung up in it once again. As the fingers curl the crests of foam curl with it, and I bring them to swirl around me. There is work to be done. There is change to be made. [color=00a99d]"I know what I'm doing."[/color] [/hider]