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To think it would be so simple to beat back the cancer. To think that Yivvin would tell the truth.

[i][color=9e0b0f]I did.[/color][/i]

No, you didn't. You promised a cure. You promised a return to glory.

[i][color=9e0b0f]And you had it, for a time. You have it still.[/color][/i]

The dryness burns. I no longer have the strength to reconcile my limbs into a recognisable shape for more than a few precious moments apiece. I do it anyway. I wane with every collapse and recollection, my limbs taking on a different number and configuration over my face with each little death.

No more waves come to my hands. My focus is too tightly chained to the twin effort of holding myself together and keeping the water out, and between them I may soon be torn apart.

I am an ocean spirit, dying of thirst.

[color=9e0b0f][i]Drink, then.[/i][/color]

Looking up, my home is a masterwork. It was many but lonely hands that built this wonder, for my sons abandoned me long ago to seek their own way, and I did not stop them. I don't think I even noticed them go. Even the windlings no longer come. They fear what I do.

There are islands. Deep pools, and shallows. Currents and salt rivers. Springs. Mid-water dunes. False beaches. All crowned in pale dust gothic, the architecture of sand in every sweeping arrangement that can be.

It is deteriorating before my eyes grain by grain, and the sea laps up the remains. So much water. The source of my body, so long ago, and all I need do is to give it back. To regain what I am and heal what is mine.

[color=9e0b0f][i]Do it. All this might be yours again. You cannot resist much longer, anyway.[/i][/color]

If I do, I will be lost. Forever. Never again will I be able to assume this weathered form in all its many variants. At best I might manage an imitation, to torment myself with what is gone. Such a beautiful shape.

[color=9e0b0f][i]Give in, Flux. This has gone on too long. No one has ever escaped their ascension alive, and there is no one left to kill you.[/i][/color]

There is no one left to kill me.

[color=9e0b0f][i]You would not be able to kill yourself if you tried, either. It is too late for that. There is too much of me in you now.[/i][/color]

[color=00a99d]"Why, Yivvin? Why me?"[/color]

[color=9e0b0f][i]I am as I am, Flux, and all else bows.[/i][/color]

[color=00a99d]"Who [i]are[/i] you?"[/color]

[color=9e0b0f][i]You have asked me before and not been satisfied.[/i][/color]

[color=00a99d]"Then satisfy me, before I give up my soul. Lie to me, only let me know."[/color]

A pause. I stand up, dragging myself. There is nothing else I can do.

In little traitor steps, I carry myself within breathing reach of the edge. I no longer expect an answer, but one bursts into me, stained with regret.

[color=9e0b0f][i]I don't [/i]know[i], Flux! I am a child. A child god. So have I been since my first memories in the world-womb, so will I be until eternity has come and gone. I do as I do, that it may be done, that I may have seen it. So that I may grow up in a beautiful place. I can't say more than that. I am who I am.[/i][/color]

I have no words. Only a pit where once they lay in my throat. It is over. The conversation of years has burned through those supplies of hate that seemed so bottomless. I allow myself to stumble, and I fall, chest-first, arms spreading, one foot still hopelessly pressing against the soil. There is a moment in which all is suspended and I am nothing.

[colour=9e0b0f][i]I guess you think this is unfair.

I'm sorry, Flux.[/i][/colour]

The sea fuses with me and the energy that surges back into my heart is so intense that it drowns out the pain. I can see my fingers splitting themselves apart in exquisite detail, staining, as rust in water or gangrene on skin. A ragged puddle forms from me and billows demon's breath to the moons. The steam tastes of teeth and glass and burnt wire. Where once a face cringed it has now twisted until it frayed into splinters and I roar a gargling curse- Perhaps my fury alone is enough to penetrate the armour of time and space and [i]drive it into Yivvin's ribs like a stake.[/i]

[color=00a99d]"A HELL OF TORMENT FOR YOUR ETERNITY IS TOO KIND! LET YOUR DEATH COME SOON, IF THE GODS BE MIGHTY, AND LET IT BE OF GIBBERING FEAR! YOUR TEARS WILL BRING NOUGHT BUT PEACE TO THE WORLD, SO MAY YOU SUFFER AND WEEP IN THE COLD MADNESS FOREVER!"[/color]

I scream. The sound echoes out into nothing, and nothing hears. Even I can no longer deny the emptiness of my words. It is already over.

[color=9e0b0f][i]I'm sorry.[/i][/color]

Let none of you call out to gods in times of need. Trust me. I have tried.
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