[hider=Review commentary][quote=@platinumskink]... Well, this certainly has the 'Ellri' vibe. Wonder if I feel that only from comparisons with one other entry or several? … Haha.[/quote]
Heh. 

[quote=@platinumskink]... Am I allowed to be somewhat disappointed in that she was merely an overwhelming show of force? I mean, yeah, the Settled sure had done great wrong to Nature, but somehow I felt there was a greater justice that was coming into play than... … … Oh, well...[/quote]
Aye. You are. With more time, she could've been much more. Maybe even we could've given the Settled more life? More justice from their point of view? Unfortunately we ran out of days to write.

[quote=@platinumskink]I feel kind of conflicted. I can appreciate the world, though it's a version of the world of the likes I've seen before. Neither side is inherently bad, they're just living in the way they find natural, and with that they've both done great harm upon one another. I like the world and such. The first battle was a wonderful introduction to Mellin and really got things down for us. But, as it went on, there's a lot of things that slightly bother me. Each thing minor on its own, but there's so many of them.[/quote]
The settled were not meant to be “evil”. We had initially hoped to make both sides reflect both good and evil. That individuals can be evil, not entire societies / civilizations.

[quote=@platinumskink]It felt rather jarring as you switched perspective very often. I want to feel connections to the character at hand, and with you switching so often made me never actually be able to attach myself before being pulled up by the roots again. It's really not a necessity for a story that we're attached anywhere, but do keep it in mind. Absolutely weirdest was when we actually had a conversation between the two leads, and the perspective kept switching between them...! Gosh.[/quote]
That might be true. We too did not truly get deeply into the characters. The whole had a rather impersonal point of view too. We struggled with figuring out how to do the dialogue bit. On one hand, we could've done a section of regular dialogue, but on the other we wanted to not break the general style. Neither option was good 
enough, really. 
Maybe next time we should explore having one character use “I”? See how we ganger tell a story from one angle without missing out on major elements being covered sufficiently for the reader? 

[quote=@platinumskink]The undertones you addressed at the time of her coming out of her shell to when she finally got dressed were uncomfortable to read, although I understand their presence. It was a beautiful scene, which then got me to feel awkward when those tones showed up. Just, er, just a detail.[/quote]
We guess this is the same section [@Mchaggis] described as “fetishisation”?
It was not without flaws, no. We did not want it to be sexualized, but did perhaps fail. It's hard to describe traits like the ones making Mellin different from humans without highlighting the sexually dimorphic traits as well as the ones making wolves different from humans.

Imagine how difficult it can be to write such even as you try to avoid those parts that fit “naturally” in there. 

[quote=@platinumskink]And, um, on a completely different matter. What did the moon do? Did it do anything? Sure, it started growing things on it with a separate spirit and such, and that's interesting, but... Did it impact the plot on land in any way? Did I just completely miss it? Did it have something to do with Mellin's transformation?[/quote]
Who knows? Maybe it ended up doing something? It certainly should do so post-story. After all, the moon did turn into a smaller version of the planet everyone was on. With more time to write, we might have been able to give it a direct role. Its change was mostly related to the title and the earliest WIP version of the story. There we had a prophecy involving the moon turning green.

[quote=@platinumskink]I'm somewhat disappointed in that the rather mildly interesting yet unnamed Settled died just like that. In a story that feels like it was trying to show both sides of the story, Mellin's transition of alliance left the Settled side largely unrepresented. Can't really be represented by people without names, really. Oh, well.[/quote]
Naming him could’ve been relevant, yes. If we had written a more sexualized story, it might’ve involved him serving a female treeperson and perhaps undergoing a transformation? Might have been better if he had both been named and brought in earlier. Maybe even several like him, with some falling under the sway of the treefolk, while others were wiser and managed to run and fight back?

[quote=@platinumskink]The last line confuses me. “Peace began to return to the land”? You just said that the Wildborn and their champion continued to raid the Settled, who were helpless to resist them. The sentence seems to imply that both sides agreed to mutual peace. But in this case, if peace did return like this, wouldn't that be more like “Wildborn reclaimed their peace by crushing any Settled that could disturb it”? Er. Anyway.[/quote]
This might have been an error of ours that snuck past editing. Chronologically, the continued raids occurred before this peace. It was thought to be a peace through the Settled losing the war. 

[quote=@platinumskink]It's a nice entry. I like the world, the people in it, and the concept of the Nature and looked forward to whatever you were doing with Mellin and the moon. … That just caused me to make a lot of comments about that which I had opinions about. Yeah. Haha. That's about that. Thank you for writing.[/quote]
[/hider]
Thanks for a thorough review and for reading.