[b]Responses - - - We Had A Name For It, Once.[/b]

[i]This is my first go, so I'm not ready to review anything yet. But I will cast a vote![/i]


[hider=McHaggis]
[quote=@McHaggis]


I love this. Overall, I think it's my second favourite entry. Having read through it twice, I have an appreciation for the entire thing. The pacing is spot on, the repetition enjoyable and the twist hard-hitting if not entirely shocking. The last two lines are definitely amazing. 10/10 would read again.

The only thing holding me back is that it gets a bit wordy and overly verbose at times – like treacle. I think the beginning is guilty of this more than the ending, because after the mid-point it seems to shed some of those extra thick descriptions. This is also slightly immersion breaking, because the protagonist doesn't really fit the image of a farmer because the thing is written [/quote]

Thank you so much! This is my first Writing Contest entry, so the positive feedback is really appreciated. (As is the constructive feedback- I am totally guilty of being overly verbose in just about everything.)

[/hider]


[hider=PlatinumSkink]
[quote=@PlatinumSkink]
... Oooh. Nice twist. I didn't see it coming. Haha.
[/quote]
In hindsight, this was basically a cold, dead scaffolding of a short story raised entirely around the twist at the end.

[quote=@PlatinumSkink]
Short, sweet, got the point across well. Excellent twist. It's essentially just you telling about the world as-is, but it's still sweet, and the twist in the end is sweeter still. You've got quite the aura built here. Very, very well done. A perfect little snack of a read. Can I ask for seconds? XD
[/quote]

"It's essentially just you telling about the world as-is..."
You've got me there.

Thanks for the use of the morpheme "sweet" three times. I think that implies some sort of satisfaction. I'll see what I can do about seconds!
[/hider]

[hider=Ellri]

[quote=Ellri]
Where did they live while they made the moon habitable? On ships? In isolated structures on the moon?
How many survivors were there? How much of society lived on?[/quote]

Captain, we're going to need a longer story.

[/hider]