[quote=@McHaggis]
[hider=The Princess of the Moon][b][u]The Princess of the Moon[/u][/b]

Poetry! First of all, I want to say, this poem is really super cute and it's something I could see being read to very young kids, illustrated to match. It has this soothing quality to it. Overall, the story and content of the entry is just... adorable. It makes sense, mostly, and anything that doesn't quite fit the theme can be hand-waved away as "well, fairytale" so grats on that.

There is one problem, though, and that is that some of the lines break the rhythm of the poem and prevent it from being spoken out-loud (or even with a particularly loud internal voice) without faltering on places. The syllable balance – if that's the correct term for it – breaks up on the following lines causing a stutter to catch up, though YMMV: 4, 7, 8, 15, 28, 31.

What makes the above problem so jarring is because there are two stanzas done [i]perfectly[/i] that roll off the tongue, and if there had been less interruptions in the earlier stanzas, I could easily rank this as one of the top entries. Stanzas 5 and 6 were great, by the way.

There were other times I felt like the phrasing was slightly [i]off[/i] to force rhyming or syllables, but I think that's the less important issue.[/hider]
[/quote]

Thank you for your review! I was aiming for a fairytale-like poem, so calling it cute and adorable definitely made me smile.
I have to say I was able to read it out loud, but I think I read it with a certain rhythm in my mind, or maybe melody is the better word, and that is very hard to convey with just the text. 
Sentences 4, 15 and 31 were indeed sentences I struggled with. The others not so much, but re-reading them I can see why you picked them out. Especially sentence 4 is one I wasn't really happy about, but it was the best I could come up with that fit with the flow of the poem in my head. 

~

[quote=@PlatinumSkink]
[hider=The Princess of The Moon]... That... that was absolutely bloody wonderful. The words sank like really delicious and melty vanilla ice-cream down my tongue as I read it out loud, not a single hick-up through the whole entry. The rhymes were unpredictable, but so melodic and they just plain felt RIGHT. This thing absolutely reeks of wonderful polishing, and, and... Gosh, I've never had an entry so short almost make me cry. Beautiful. Perfect. I am completely satisfied.

The only minor criticism I have, which is extremely minor, is the relatively minor connection to the theme. The moon in this occasion could have been replaced with any location, and the story would still have told just fine. But, that's so extremely minor in the face of such perfection, that... yeah. Can I hug you? I want to hug you. Gosh, that was beautiful. That was such art. Such consistency. Such resounding musical rhymes. So magical. Haha. Yikes.[/hider]
[/quote]

I'm so sad I can only add one Thank for the post. So here is it again. Thank you! Hug me? I want to hug you for that wonderful review! It's tricky to find a good rhythm or melody for a poem and even if you find one it's never certain the reader will read it the same way. I'm so glad you did. I recall you mentioned you could sing my Ode to king Han in your review of that poem, and yes, in my head the poems have a certain melody.


[@Silver] the only entry I read so far is yours, it was short enough to read through quickly before I had to do other things again and I just wanted to say it's great. 


I hope I'll find the time to read through everything before the deadline. I'll do my best.