"Do you want a bag with that?" (My girlfriend as I woke her from a nap on the sofa. She works in customer service.)

"Stop laughing! It's creeping me out!" (Again, my girlfriend. Apparently I have a creepy laugh.)

"God, your hair's a mess." (My sister. I'd come back from university and hadn't seen her for months. This was the first thing she said.)

"Meow. Mrrrrow mow mow. Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr." (Not a cat. A person.)

"The [i]crotch[/i] shadows?!" (I was talking about the band The Cruxshadows to a friend. He thought I said this.)