Self-titled Grope Master is what you go by.
Your cuddles and nuzzles, puts me in a lullaby.
You love to play your XBOX game,
but I wish you had a PS4 to play with me; what a shame.
The people here do not know your name,
but when I see you, 
I say, comment allez-vous?
You are always there for me when I need you,
and you know that I'll always be there for you like a gum on your shoe.
I love you, dear.
I just wanted to make that clear.