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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Witch Cat
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Granted, but the genie cannot grant it's own wishes, so nothing happens.

I wish to eat the person who curses my wish before he can curse it.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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ClocktowerEchos Friendly Neighborhood / Landmine Enthusiast

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Granted, you eat your family.

I wish some dank memes.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Mardox
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Mardox An internet Dark Lord

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Granted, you eat your family.

I wish some dank memes.


Granted, but these dank memes are dank memes in the old-fashioned senses of the words and you are trapped in a dark, damp, smelly cave listening to people drone on about their ideas. These aren't good ideas either, they're the kind of ideas that you would hate listening to the most and know to be wrong but the cave has made you sick so you can't verbally correct them.

I wish for concrete evidence that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Vesuvius00
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Vesuvius00 ~| Guardian of Flame |~ / ~| Superhero |~

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granted, he admits it over live national television in exchange for the inability for anything bad to ever happen to him or anyone he cares about ever again. He admitted it, but now nothing can be done about it.

I wish for the ability to read people's thoughts without them knowing, and for me to have complete control over this ability, including being able to turn it on and off and to be able to target specific people rather than just everyone nearby.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ArenaSnow
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ArenaSnow Devourer of Souls

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Granted, but the longer you use the ability, the more your control over your own mind slowly slips out of your control permanently. Thus, overuse will allow anyone in the vicinity to do the same to you as you do to them, all as you are slipping into a slow sea of mute mushroom feeling.

I wish for one good damn cup of coffee for once today.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Mateotis
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Mateotis The Guardian

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Granted, but it'll be so damn strong that you won't be able to sleep for two days.

I wish I could fall asleep and wake up on demand at any time, always feeling refreshed.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Little Bill
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Granted, but you always have awful nightmares.

I wish for bagels.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Witch Cat
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Witch Cat C.A.T. Cat / Coolest of All Time

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Granted, but someone already used it as a sex toy.

I wish for a bagel sex toy.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Vesuvius00
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Vesuvius00 ~| Guardian of Flame |~ / ~| Superhero |~

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granted, but the genie misunderstood your wish and you are now a sexy bagel.

also you kinda killed the thread for 10 days with that. bad bagel. bad.

...

I wish for every wish that's ever been wished on this thread to be re-granted the way that the one who made the wish envisioned it turning out, rather than the corrupted version they actually got.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Witch Cat
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Witch Cat C.A.T. Cat / Coolest of All Time

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Granted, but the people in another universe got their wish granted. Not this one.

I wish @Vesuvius00 to turn into a bagel sex toy
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Vesuvius00
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Vesuvius00 ~| Guardian of Flame |~ / ~| Superhero |~

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Granted, but it's opposite day! A bagel sex toy got turned into a Vesuvius. There's two of us now, happy?

I wish for people to stop wishing for wierd, sexual things.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Scout
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Granted, but they start wishing for normal sexual things.

I wish for a normal sexual thing?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Witch Cat
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Witch Cat C.A.T. Cat / Coolest of All Time

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Granted, but it's what a scat fetishist calls normal. Congrats, you're now covered in shit.

I wish for a bagel
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Vesuvius00
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Vesuvius00 ~| Guardian of Flame |~ / ~| Superhero |~

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Granted, you get one sesame-seed bagel with raspberry jam

I wish for strawberries
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Witch Cat
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Witch Cat C.A.T. Cat / Coolest of All Time

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Granted. They're rotten.

I wish to have my "cupcake" eaten
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Little Bill
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Granted. Your use of apostrophes confuses the genie, all cupcakes are now consumed. Way to go.
I wish for a sack of magic beans.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Alisma
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Alisma The Plant

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Granted, but the plant that the magic beans grow to will wrap around your throat and kill you.

I wish for 1 million rolls of tape.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Little Bill
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Granted. 500,000 rolls of tape, taped to the sticky side of another 500,000 rolls. Enjoy your pile of not-sticky plastic.

I wish for a tamed pet raccoon.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Vesuvius00
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Vesuvius00 ~| Guardian of Flame |~ / ~| Superhero |~

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Granted. your neighbors constantly call animal control because of the raccoon they keep seeing in your house, until you eventually get them to realize that this particular raccoon is your pet, and they stop calling. About a month later you go on vacation, bringing your loyal raccoon pet with you, and are slated to be gone for at least a week. A small family of wild raccoons gets into your home somehow (a mother and two kits) and decides that they aren't leaving, so when you finally get home the little jerks have taken over and ruined most of your stuff. Your neighbors never called animal control because they thought it was just your pet, and your insurance doesn't cover any of the damage done by wild animal infestation.

At least you and your pet are ok!

I wish for the first day of school to not be completely horrible for once
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Vesuvius00
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Vesuvius00 ~| Guardian of Flame |~ / ~| Superhero |~

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did I kill this? (I'm granting my own wish and re-wishing to try and start this back up again)

Granted, but because of reasons (the paperwork didn't go through on time) everyone's memories of the last few months are just gone instead. Now it's like school never ended in the first place! yay!

I wish for an alien invasion of earth (real or in the movies) where we win for any reason other than "the aliens were allergic to the planet"
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