[b]DAY FOUR -[/b] [i]A song that reminds you of something sad[/i]
[hider=Say Something
A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera][youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds[/youtube][/hider]Okay... this is going to be hard for me to say. In fact, I don't think I've ever mentioned it to anyone I've met on the Guild. But, a few years ago, I was near death. Not "my recent suicidal thoughts" near death, but "I've caught a brutal virus that is shutting down my body" near death.

In order to tell this story, I'm going to need to fill you in on a few details.

1) Basically, I have a blood condition called spherocytosis. This means my red blood cells are spherical, instead of being disc shapes, so I have less red blood cells than normal people. It also makes my immune system really weak and I pick up a bug every two seconds.

2) 'Say Something' has been interpreted differently by many people. To my mum and grandad and various others, it's about a breakup. To me, it's about death, and someone staying with their loved one as they die in front of their eyes, basically.

Right, the story:

So, I went away to this summer camp feeling a little off. My mum sent me anyway because she thought it was just nerves (I always get nervous when I'm separated from my mum for a long time). During my time at camp, I threw up twice, barely ate (despite being forced to countless times), and was generally just really worn out by the end of it. I fell asleep in the car home and it took two people to wake me up.

When I arrived at the house, I instantly curled up with my mum on the couch, because I felt like absolute shit. She said, and I quote, that I felt like a fully boiled kettle. That's how high my temperature was. Afer that, I didn't even spend another second there before she rushed me to the hospital.

I don't remember all the details of what happened there, as I have since tried to erase this memory from my mind, but I'll give you all a  brief summary.

Basically, I'd contracted something called parvo virus (or slap cheeks disease). Now, to someone without spherocytosis, this is absolutely fine. They can shift it just like any other common virus. However, for people [i]with[/i] spherocytosis, it shuts our entire system down. Kidneys and other organs start killing off the wrong blood cells (instead of dead blood cells, they killed off healthy ones), we don't want to eat, and our body is just practically dying without our permission. I ended up requiring a blood transfusion.

Now, I know what you're probably thinking: "well, you're still alive, so why's it sad?".

Well, the answer for that is simple. The doctors told us that if my mum had waited any longer to take me to the hospital, I wouldn't be here today. I'd be dead. There would've been no saving me. At all.

That slim possibility is what keeps me scared to this day. Even minutes could've made a difference. I dwell on things like this. I cry about them. I wish it never happened. I thank whatever deities above us there are that I'm still alive today.

But I still can't listen to this damn song, because it reminds me far too much of how I felt - and how my mum felt - as I went to sleep every night and hoped to god that I'd wake up in the morning.