Hah, Gowi can confirm that I hate personality sections (I myself usually don't have it down for the character until the second or third post) because it feels like a lot of telling instead of showing, so I figured that, if anything, would be the major issue. I'll see what I can do to revise it. As for the eyescar- can't say I'm a fan of it, but it's the vibe the facial expression gives off that's absolutely perfect for him.

The religion bit wasn't important and cutting it won't really change much, so yeah that's easy and doable.

As for the third bit- I don't think that would work, but I like the idea and can certainly try and adapt it to the character. The Way of the Wind lends itself much more to a word of mouth sort of teaching (words are wind, after all), that doesn't mean though that it can't have it's own tenants or teachings that can tie into each chapter. Perhaps with a pretext of him dictating his travels to someone in the future rather than writing a book. Or someone else writing the book after having interviewed him. Something like:

[i]'Strive to die happy. Regret breeds fear before death. The scared die breathless.' I had always lived by these words, commited my entire being to them. However, I would be a liar if I said I truly understood them before that day. Watching the mighty Daremo gasping on the ground, scared and desperate- My master was a wise man. I wonder what he had to witness to gain that wisdom.[/i] ~ Madanami Hyōryū, Disciple of the Wind