[quote=@Sep] [@Patient 43Delta] first and foremost welcome to the Guild. I hope you have a pleasant stay. Before I get into the sheet may I recommend you go to the Free or Casual sections as for beginners this isn't really the place to be. Moving on. 1) Spelling is not that hard to get checked, while we're not complete snobs in Advanced we do expect a certain level of proficiency at least at using spell check. 2) His names White, what kind of name is that? He's 460.... whaaaaat? Alien, no. It clearly states in the OP first alien contact was with the Devastators. Though I could stop here, I'm going to keep going. 3) Position 'varies upon assignment' so he's just wonderman? 4) I don't quite understand what is going on with the sandwhich. 5) His history is far too short, look at everyone elses those are the lengths that are expected in this section. The idea is we get an idea of who they are, look at how they are for people in their 20-40s even if there were a chance (and there is none) of me letting you play an alien you'd need to write roughly 15+ times as much. You also don't mention how he got involved in the Genesis Project, or how he got to Earth or... pretty much anything pivotal to this RP. 6) Supercomputers aren't actually smart, just capable of processing things quickly. Also EMR? Like electronic medical record? I guess that's a handy alien skill, looking at people and seeing their medical records. Do you see the person or a giant folder walking around? 7) Kudos, these are actual pretty reasonable weaknesses. 1 point to Hufflepuff. 8) Yes, because humanity who has had it's ass kicked by an alien race is going to let one on one of it's few hopes of survival... with camoflauge technology. That suit would have been ripped apart trying to replicate the technology. 9) So, how he not ded? Shoulda been rekt, rip. 10) D'aww. What a nice aspiration, gonna cry. 11) Well y'know. They're not trying to win, hence the Genesis Protocol and whatnot. [b]My Evaluation (TL;DR):[/b] You're really not ready for Advanced, and I'd recommend going to find a RP in Casual or Free and then first and foremost [i]reading[/i] the OP as it's incredibly important to find out what's going on. The only thing in your sheet that relates to this RP is the Devastators. Sheets should be talored specifically to the RP especially when it's something like this set in a new Universe and not based on a fandom. For cleanliness purposes me or [@Heat] will contact a mod and have your posts deleted from the Character Sheet Tab, as it's for accepted Character Sheets only and I'd rather it wasn't cluttered. Thankyou for your time. [/quote] I'm not even going to try to join this, the idea was interesting and caught my eye but [@Sep] seems to entirely too criticizing at this point, the way you shot down another member was just plain rude and I'm actually pretty disappointed in your response, for someone who's been around for a good amount of time I feel like that could have been handled way differently. "10) D'aww. What a nice aspiration, gonna cry." "2) His names White, what kind of name is that?" If you find that someone's style doesn't fit your rp, you can simply say so without tearing them apart.