Her mouth opened without her control, ready to tell him everything – about her fears, her guilt, what Shirley had revealed about her past. But… [i]why[/i]? She froze, her lips parted but silent. She forced them closed again. Lexa was quiet for a long moment, eyes unfocused and down-turned. 

[color=crimson]"I saved you,"[/color] she finally murmured, [color=crimson]"because it felt like the right thing to do."[/color] That was the only answer he'd asked for that she was willing to give him. Her eyebrows scrunched together. She looked up to meet his eyes. [color=crimson]"But I'm not sure it was."[/color] Lexa sighed in the darkness. [color=crimson]"From now on, everyone you hurt… everyone you kill… it's on me. Because I couldn't let you die."[/color] Why couldn't she [i]let him die[/i]?

[color=crimson]"I know-"[/color] what he'd gone through, how he'd suffered, what [i]made him like this[/i] [color=crimson]"it's not really your fault. I mean – when you kill someone it's your fault. No matter what you went through, your actions are your own."[/color] Just like no matter how much she wished otherwise, she was responsible for killing 9… even if she hadn't been herself. [color=crimson]"But… I can't blame you for being this person."[/color] She looked down again.

[color=crimson]"So what am I supposed to do?"[/color]