"Sweet hogfucking shit, please tell me you're kidding. No. I know you're not. Fuck. Fuck. Okay. I'll just, uh, carry you to bed and then get that––thing?––bandaged up and I'll just pretend it doesn't exist and isn't a problem and that I don't fucking hate myself. Anyways." 

Mattie rose to a half-kneeling position, and heaved Nick up from under his arms. She shuffled him quickly into the bedroom and grunted with the effort of laying him down, again on his stomach.