[quote=@Beelz129]
But words of wisdom as well come for the person as well. But its not as easy as to just buck up.
[/quote]
This line is precisely why I chose to focus on suggesting that you overcome your personal depression and stress first, instead of telling you to "buck up and get out there". Yes, you definitely will need to get up and do something with yourself if you want to get out of the situation you're in, but the priority is definitely to help your mind state before any of that, and this is why I focused on that. Once you've taken that personal step, you'll get up and do the things you need to do without any of us needing to tell you anything. Realizing that the pressure you're feeling is only an illusion is important. As long as you're alive, more opportunities can be found, so your current session at college turning out perfectly, or even being completed, is not the end of the world. The only real advice you need right now is to believe in yourself, because once that happens you won't even need any inspirational words from other people.

Stress and depression are very real problems, and a lot of people who don't experience them on a daily basis will never really be able to understand what holds back the people who do suffer from them. That's obviously no excuse for the people who are suffering from these problems to not do anything about it, but healing their mind state is the first step to taking more direction actions forward. It's not simply a matter of being told to stop being depressed and then it magically happens. You need to actually really overcome all the thoughts going on in your mind that make you worry about failing or not getting anywhere.

I think, in terms of college, the best idea is to ignore your father as best you can and not let his perspective impact you, but more than that you need to really think about whether or not it's actually going to benefit you in the long run, because if it isn't then finding work is the better move since you'll be making money instead of wasting it. The important thing is you take the time to work out your mind state towards all of this before doing that, and then take the actions. Just being told to get up and do it by a bunch of people online like us is only going to help so much. In the end, you're the one who needs to convince yourself things will work if you believe in yourself.

That is the most genuine wisdom anyone here will be able to give you; believe in yourself first, then act on it after that's achieved. The reality is people only get somewhere once they personally believe they can, so that's frankly the only thing I care about you taking in from everything being said here. You'll be able to "buck the fuck up" only once that's done, but not before. I could've given you the more blunt "just do it" approach, especially since I'm very forthright in general, but you clearly need to deal with the depression before anything else will help you, and I think this stress and pressure is the main cause of it, so that's why I honestly think this needs to be the focus. No, overcoming depression isn't easy and it sure as hell isn't something that happens by people just telling you to get your chin up and move forward, but you can do it if you get the personal confidence. The important thing is you realize your doubts and worries are not as absolute as they seem.