[@LunayMochizuki] I [i]think[/i] it's okay, other than a few select grammatical mistakes which I'd like for you to fix. If you could clarify more of her personality and it would be great.
Also, how tall is she? She can't be extremely short, as that is unrealistic.
Finally, the bit about her wyvern (should be lower case). You say that it's her best friend, but neither gave it a gender nor name.  :P
I might be overlooking or misunderstanding things, since it's early.  So sorry in advanced. ^^;

Remember guys that not everyone can have an (exotic) mount. Also, there should be slightly more solarians than other races because racism usually keeps races from mingling. ^^ But it's fine so far!