Granted. The chasm caused previously by the pineapple of divine origins creates a fluctuation in the fabric of reality which completely rewrites the laws of the universe, granting you an immunity to pencil stabbings but making all other forms of regular physical sensations, regardless of how minor, register in your brain with the same waves as a pencil stabbing, so now you feel like you're being stabbed by pencils anytime you touch or feel anything.

I wish could stop screwing up my sleep pattern due to being unable to switch my thinking off.