[hider=QWACK][i]Huius pyga[/i]

[center][color=ed1c24][s]WHY DO WE ONLY HAVE RED PENS JESUS CHRIST[/s][/color]

Hi, I'm Garry Priest and I just found a white pen... why is all our paper black? No seriously, the HMS LittleJ has white paper and black pens but OH NO WE NEED THE COFFEE MACHINE.

Name: You kidding me right now?

Age: This application doesn't have enough options for me, I chronologically identify as hydro-age and you will treat me with RESPECT DAMMIT!

Sex: Yes please. (It's funny because they're the same word)

[s]Size[/s]

Rol[color=ed1c24]e: Okay what?[/color] Why is my ink re- [color=ed1c24]white?[/color] WHITE... [color=fff200]red- oh fuck me sideways.[/color]

Okay, I think I fixed i[color=00a651]t[/color] OH FUCK OFF!

... We good? Great, I'm the janitor and I also make the coffee when the machine borks. Because technology hates us, and itself.

Appearance: I didn't know what to do for this, so I drew a horse.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/zAVmp.jpg[/img]

Yay horses!

Skills: I can drink lemons. Like, whole... It's cooler if you see it for yourself... I hate limes though, I mean, who likes limes, they're only the only citrus fruit that tastes like garbage, and have you ever had a lime candy? Tastes like someone threw up a lemon that someone had drowned in your mom's bum. Why do they always end up in my mouth when I want a red one, the red ones are always the best, I mean, who doesn't like red candies, they're like the coolest especially when[sup]You eat them on a hot day and it turns out that they're strawberry and you're like WOAH andblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah[/sup]

Bi- No I'm still stuck on that candy thing, like who doesn[hider=Ranting and Raving]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[/hider]

Bio(For real this time): Woah woah, I'm just a janitor, why do you care? You shit. Well, what I do know is that I'm a clone, and that the artificial aging may have had some unforeseen consequences on my psych- OH LOOK A WALL *Bash* THART RIT THEYRE IS A STEV AUSTN, NO WAIT, IT"S A DWAN THE RICK JUNSTON *Flop* SING ME ABOUT THE PRETTY SPACE RAINDEERS WHO EAT THE GARBAGE AND SAVE FRUITOPIA. NO MAMA, I DON'T BELIEVE IN THE MEDICAL BENEFITS OF STARS IN SPACE HELPING WITH THE GIANT ARTICHOKE.

[h3]But actually, here's his info.[/h3]

Name: Garrison Priest (Call him Garry or he'll cut you)

Age: 6

Description: 
Garrison is eleven feet tall and five hundred pounds. He has fully black eyes. His scales are naturally green, but he adopts the skin color of a Caucasian male, these scales are also bio-luminescent when he can be bothered to use them. He has no external genitalia and thus walks around completely naked, much to the discomfort of everyone else due to his adopted human-esque appearance and skeletal frame. In his natural form he lacks a nose, but he wears a prosthetic to add to his human disguise. He has a tail as well, but he is able to lop it off with no threat to his body, and it grows back over the course of a day. He also wears fake cheeks to hide his sunken natural ones, and his mouth extending far further than it should. In human disguise, he fashions his appearance after a younger version of English actor Patrick Stewart, to an uncanny degree. It is unknown why he does this, when asked he stated "Make it so" and giggled to himself.

[hider=No makeup][img]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/85/1f/e8/851fe862b2bbddd6c47c36f2fa1f164c.jpg[/img][/hider]

[hider=Makeup on fleek][img]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c2/a8/e6/c2a8e65ea04e0dc2833cb6a2f698c20a.jpg[/img][/hider][/center]

Race: Burgatinite

Personality: 
As he was raised by humans not aware of the speed of Burgatinite growth, Garrison was raised as a child for the majority of his life, as a result, he is incredibly immature and borderline worthless at actually holding a job, this may explain why he's a janitor. Despite this, when angered, he is incredibly dangerous due to his thick hide and sharp claws and teeth, and he is angered quite often by trivial matters.

How he got here: 
Garrison's egg was found in deep space in a Burgatinite escape pod, unable to find a home for the dangerous creature, the crew of the discovery ship shrugged and dropped the egg from orbit in an attempt to smash it. Fortunately for Garrison, his egg was both too thick for any damage to be done, and his terminal velocity was too low to be of any threat to the thick hide. Smacking into a man's head, the egg rolled through the country-side, choking a dog, turning off a man's wi-fi, and blowing up a mobile home. Adopted by a farm couple, Garrison ended up unemployed due to his eccentricities, deciding to sign up as a spacecraft janitor, Garrison got the job somehow.[/hider]