Basil was silent for a long time, but finally scowled and said, "Living in a fantasy? Know nothing of the 'real world?'" He shook his head, standing with clenched fists. However, he made no move toward her. "Look, everyone has been through more than their fair share of hardship. You're not the only one who has lost people, who has been abused, who has been taken advantage of. You don't even know for who or why I'm going through with this. For the people back at my hometown? Fuck them! I honestly couldn't care less if they live or die!" Perhaps that was harsh, but why should he even care after everything that they had put Basil and his father through, just for being born into a role that neither of them were capable of adequately filling? "I only do this for two people. For my dad and for Jace. I may have only lost one other person that I genuinely cared about, but...but at least you've had people to care about in the first place. I'd give anything for those memories." 
	That emptiness crawled back in, sinking into his head as he thought more and more.
	He became quiet again, but then asked, almost in a whisper, "What if you always felt as if you're doing nothing more than watching someone else, just floating above them? It's like you're tethered to them through a rope or, or a chain. They're...you, in a way, but you're not actually the one making the choices or anything. You're just someone who got front-row seats to the first showing." He wrapped his arms around himself. Even quieter he said, "Maybe...maybe if I do this, then I can have something to ground me. To make me into that person. So that I don't have to feel this way anymore, and Jace won't ever have to worry about me leaving him again, and my dad can be just a little happier, at least, and...and it'll be my life. You may have said that's a pointless goal, but I don't care. I want to try. I [i]have[/i] to try because I can't just go away without Jace having something left of [i]me[/i] behind."
	
	"I'm not fighting you, kid," Leith said after a bout of coughing. He shook his head. "But feel free to fight whatever's really bothering you because I know for a fact that it isn't actually me."