Serena gingerly made her way through the hallways of the [i]Borealis[/i], cursing quietly under her breath, hoping the pain meds would kick in soon. They were already taking too damn long. And hoping that she didn’t take too much. She was quite certain that she was far from an overdose limit, but she didn’t want to find out how much it took to make her loopy.

As she made her way farther down the hall towards Vellios’ room, she began to feel better. The pain receded to a small, dull ache and she began to feel a bit...floaty. [color=hotpink]“Finally.”[/color] She muttered, rounding the corner and slamming smack dab into Dex. [color=hotpink]“Ooph!”[/color] She stumbled back. [color=hotpink]“I’m sorry I should have been paying attention...Dex!”[/color] She beamed at the Turian as a thought she had forgotten to ask Tanya popped in her head. [color=hotpink]“Just who I was looking for! How is everyone on the crew?”[/color]

“[color=007236]Serena! What are you doing out of bed?[/color]” Dex had been making her way back to her quarters after a taxing conversation with Khosin. She desperately hoped Khosin didn’t stop to talk to anyone on his way to his own bunk.

[color=hotpink]“Have to know if everyone is okay. That my fuck up didn’t get anyone else hurt.”[/color] Serena replied, somewhat stubbornly.

“[color=007236]Yeah, everyone is fine for the most part. Heard what happened to you from Iosif and Haze. Seriously, you shouldn’t be moving around right now.[/color]” The evidence of her injuries were clear as day, bruising, bandages covering the slice on her neck. The stab wound also under layers of bandages. Her eyes were dilated, assumingly from medication. Burns frayed some areas of her clothing. “[color=007236]C’mon let’s head to the common area to sit and chat.[/color]”

Offering her arm for Serena to hold onto.

[color=hotpink]“Thank you. I feel like shit and everything hurts. Which is probably what happens when you detonate an explosive crossbow bolt right in front of you.”[/color] Serena smiled happily at the Turian as she leaned on Dex’s arm. Then she frowned. [color=hotpink]“Wait. What did you mean ‘for the most part.’”[/color] Her eyes got wide with alarm. [color=hotpink]“Did someone get hurt. Did I get someone hurt?”[/color]

Dex frowned back down at the human, she had resorted to using a exploding crossbow bolt?

[i][color=007236]Beaten up? Those shits downplayed it.[/color][/i]

[color=hotpink]“Dex. What do you mean ‘for the most part?’”[/color] She suddenly looked even more worried, almost fearful. [color=hotpink]“Did someone die? Did I get someone killed again?”[/color]

They walked to the common area and Dex explained, “[color=007236]Relax, the smugglers making contact didn’t affect much beyond getting yourself hurt.[/color]” She set Serena down and took a seat herself. Letting out a long sigh leaning back into the springy cushions. Her instincts were waving red flags at her again, was it the medication helping Serena along in jumping to conclusions or did she honestly think her mistakes got crew killed?

“[color=007236]Was going to wait to tell everyone when we all sat down and debriefed officially but Kasyra disappeared. Last I saw her was when we sold the guns, she didn’t respond to any of my calls. It’s unconfirmed if she deserted us or what her status is.[/color]” Dex said, casting a side glance at Serena. “[color=007236]Couldn’t go back to look for her. It was too risky.[/color]”

Dex pulled up her omnitool suppressing a yawn, “[color=007236]No new messages since we left Virmire.[/color]”

Serena’s eyes squeezed shut, attempting to block the tears that rushed into them. She failed. [color=hotpink]“Fuck. Not again. Why do I always….”[/color] She trailed off, opening her eyes at Dex’s yawn, and feeling even guiltier at how tired the turian looked.. [color=hotpink]“I’m sorry. You’re probably drop dead tired what with all the shit you went through in the camp because I was busy not doing my job. Get some sleep. Thanks for telling me about Kasy.”[/color] She got up to leave with a shaky smile.

Dex leaned forward and tugged on the back of her shirt. 

“[color=007236][i]Sit[/i]. I’m tired but I’m not letting you run around the ship looking like you do. What happened to you didn’t fuck everything up.[/color]” Dex said firmly looking Serena in the eye. “[color=007236]From what I heard from Iosif and Haze it was a group effort. We don’t know if Kasy is dead or alive, Tonka’s theory is she ran off at the first whiff of Blue Suns. Point is, [i]it’s not your fault.[/i][/color]” Dex insisted. She all but forced Serena to sit again.

Dex stood up and said, “[color=007236]I’m getting you some water.[/color]”

Serena weakly struggled against Dex before sitting down and putting her head in her hands.. 

[color=hotpink]“Like hell it didn’t. It was [i]my job[/i] to keep an eye on everything and report when things went wrong. Instead, I barely managed to report a problem before getting my ass kicked and the entire operation exposed by the smugglers. Which resulted in all of you being chased out of the base and Kasy being killed. Don’t give me that ‘we don’t know what happened to her’. Kasy was many things, but she wasn’t one to just suddenly disappear. And the smugglers didn’t just go ‘Oh hey, you’re part of that group that we know are fake and probably spies for the Alliance? Sign on board!’ I got her killed. Just add her to the god damned list.”[/color] She didn’t bother looking up as Dex returned.

Dex listened to Serena’s terrible reasoning to pinning everything that happened on herself. She didn’t know what happened down in the camp, the risk largely being created by what the Infiltration team orchestrated on their own. Putting the glass of water on the table in front of her.

“[color=007236]I’m about to blow your mind Serena, because shit still isn’t your fault.[/color]” She flopped down beside her again putting her arm up over the ledge of the couch. “[color=007236]Tonka created a distraction for Drono and I to sneak into the communications centre, while I was busy with my head in a console Drono and Khosin were trying to sabotage the best they could. You don’t know half of what happened and you’re assuming everything is your fault. How dumb is that?[/color]” She gave Serena a half hearted grin, noting the glassy sheen in her eyes.

“[color=007236]Kasy… Kasy isn’t our problem anymore. You’re not going to like it, regardless if she’s dead or not. Her disappearance still isn’t your fucking fault.[/color]” Dex tugged on Serena’s earlobe. “[color=007236]What’s it going to take for you to believe me? More cold hard facts… or let you have a good cry?[/color]”

Serena reluctantly looked up as Dex leaned next to her, already figuring out what she actually did wrong to get Kasy killed.  [color=hotpink]“Alright, fine. You all exposed yourselves. I still should have alerted you when I saw Tonka’s shields dropping faster than an Elcor in freefall. You would have known and been prepared rather than caught by surprise when things went to shit. Instead, I was busy fucking around with a turret in a rainstorm, while the smugglers were moving against you. Drono and the rest were caught off guard, and Kasy probably was too. The smugglers don’t shoot to maim either.”[/color] She gave a bitter chuckle. [color=hotpink]“I can attest to that.”[/color]

She curled on herself more when Dex pulled on her earlobe. [color=hotpink]“Crying doesn’t help. It didn’t help for Janet, Silus, Barat, or any of the rest. It’s not going to help with Kasy.”[/color]

There it was, names and all. She’d lost teammates before and now was being painfully reminded of it with Kasy. “[color=007236]Serena… Taking everything that happened today and calling it your mistake isn’t going to solve anything. Like I said earlier it was a group effort. Every reason you just listed off was a should have done this or could have done that.[/color]” Dex said, sincere. “[color=007236]If the rest of those names on the list could see you right now, they’d be telling you the same thing I am.[/color]”

Serena gave a harsh laugh, though it was more of a wracked sob. [color=hotpink]“Silus got shot in the back by some mercs coming after us, protecting me while I fucked around with a locked door. Barat was killed by grenades because I wasn’t fast enough to cover him with a barrier too. But you can call those just dangers of the job right? Well I got Janet fucking captured by batarian slavers. We were supposed to be evacuated out. The colony was under attack and the mission was completed. Quick and clean.”[/color]

[color=hotpink]“Then I ran back out to go get someone who was lagging behind, and Janet was my protection detail so she followed. Harpooned through the leg and dragged behind their lines. Try and tell me that wasn’t [i]my fucking fault.[/i] Try and convince me that the rumors I hear about batarians slaves are just exaggerated. I’ve heard it a thousand times over. Doesn’t do a damn thing.  You want more examples about what a fuck up I am? I’ve got five other people dead because of me. Spencer, Omar, An, Hannah, Soban. All my-”[/color]

“[color=007236]That’s enough, Serena. I fucking get it.[/color]” Dex stopped her, glaring at Serena. She took a deep breath in. Her expression evening out again, “[color=007236]I get it, alright? We can turn this into a pissing contest on who has fucked up more in a vain attempt to make the other feel better. You can throw examples at me all day, but I’ll still be sitting right here. You’ll still be a ball of guilt but…[/color]” She gestured vaguely at their surroundings, “[color=007236]At least you’re not alone in this. You’ve got Vellios, Tanya...and me. Much like fucking up is a group effort, pulling your head out of your ass will be too. Yeah?[/color]” She smiled at her, genuinely hoping this time her attempt to make her feel better would actually work.

Serena stared at Dex for a moment, in minor surprise. Then she broke down and started sobbing, covering her face with her hands. Her next words were nearly unintelligible through her crying.  [color=hotpink]“Why? Why do you care so much? I’m just going to get you killed too. I’m gonna create a fucking malfunctioning droid, or not be fast enough again...why. Why don’t you just save yourself while you can?”[/color]

Gently rubbing her back with her organic hand she quietly joked, “[color=007236]Maybe I see a little of myself in you. Maybe I’ve got a heart in this carapace somewhere. Who knows, I’ve got this mysterious spy rep to keep up. Keep you on your toes.[/color]”

“[color=007236]Besides, I get to be the only who decides on how I die. Fuck accidents, stray bullets and bad luck. You can officially not worry about getting me killed because I say so.[/color]” She let out a tiny chuckle, then asked, “[color=007236]Is it alright if I give you a hug?[/color]”

Serena gave a broken laugh, throwing her arms around Dex’s shoulders. [color=hotpink]“Of course it is. Silly question.”[/color]

Dex wrapped her arms around Serena’s torso, gently as she could. Patting her back, relief flooded through the turian with another wave of physical and mental exhaustion rolling over her. She let out a sigh and content hummed through her sub vocals. They sat together while Serena cried herself out, not much else needing to be said.

Serena pulled back, wiping her eyes. She eyed the turian’s clearly tired form and tsking. [color=hotpink]“Go to sleep Dex.”[/color] She ordered firmly, shooing the turian. [color=hotpink]“I’m fine now, and I’ll just crash on this couch. My bed is in the hangar anyway. Sleep. Now.”[/color]

Dex slowly pushed herself up and ran one eye over Serena, “[color=007236]You don’t have to tell me again. Good night, Serena.[/color]”