A present has arrived. Do you open?
[YES] or [NO]

[hider=Lawrence Ellison]
A box, plastered with cute cartoon dogs, opens up to reveal an old-fashioned coffee grinder, the hand crank-type that gives off a faux-antique impression. Within the box is another, unwrapped box, containing a chew toy. A chew toy that has the likeness of a blond human being.[/hider]

[hider=Lilliana Brandt]
A slender, elegant case opens up to reveal a kaleidoscope tube, fanciful depictions of fairy tales drawn onto the exterior. Peering it and twisting one end of the tube would reveal an ever-changing array of colors and patterns. A small note placed beside it reads “basically you, lol”[/hider]

[hider=Emma Halwell]
A cooler, painted Christmas colors, reveals tubs of Haagen Daaz ice cream in either chocolate or vanilla flavor. It is obvious that this was bought in bulk. It is similarly obvious that the ice cream had become partially melted during the night.[/hider]

[hider=Grant Rotem]
A heavy box crushed down on his chest, making it difficult for him to even believe that he didn’t wake up. Opening it reveals a set of weights and a couple of pages ripped out from a Men’s Fitness magazine, buried underneath a hell lot of acorns.[/hider]

[hider=Christopher Drake]
A bundle wrapped in red is torn apart to reveal a large picnic blanket, as well as an hourglass, with red sand within. ‘5 min’ is engraved in the bottom of the hourglass, and a hand-drawn instructional manual shows a screaming stickman placing a thick square over itself.[/hider]

[hider=Sander Lorraine]
A cardboard box is cut open to reveal a cheap looking cape, the type that kids wear on Halloween to pretend that they’re some sort of monster, as well as a bottle of silver glitter. In the bottom of the box is the little girl from the taco commercial, asking Sander “Why not both?”[/hider]

[hider=Callan Webb]
Leaning against the bedside as Callan wakes up is a truly gargantuan weapon, something that’s more of a block of steel attached to a traffic sign pole rather than a sword. But it still was indeed a sword. The Buster Sword from FFVII laid embedded in her dorm’s floor, deep enough that someone’s ceiling probably had a sharp point poking out of it. Callan Webb? More like Callan Weeb.[/hider]

[hider=Kusari Bloodworth]
Hanging off her closet is a new addition to Kusari’s otherwise drab collection of clothing, a white ballroom dress of sparkling silk, tailored specifically to her own measurements. It looked like something a princess would have, something so out-of-place in pretty much any place in USARILN. The price tag was still attached to it.[/hider]

[hider=Marcus Howell]
On top of Marcus’s desk is a thick, hard-cover book full of dad jokes and bad puns. On top of that book is an oppai mousepad featuring Ekko’s marvelous pecs. Once he sees himself in the mirror, Marcus will also note that someone drew a super classy moustache on it. In permanent marker. Was this really Christmas? Or was he just getting bullied?[/hider]

[hider=Zoe Fletcher]
Two badass black leather gloves rest on her face. There are metal studs, there are skulls and devils, there are pointless belts and buckles, there are way too many chains…there are essentially so many ‘badass’ things that it’s clear whoever made it tried too hard. But still, badass. A note beside them reads “Limiter Accessory, Get!”[/hider]

[hider=Hazel Baker]
During the night, someone surrounded her bed with ice cream cones. Tens and tens of ice cream cones. Enough to make a fence around her with them. Three numbers are written on the sticky note plastered against one of the cones. Three numbers that will give two girls diabetes.[/hider]

[hider=Siena Santana]
A list. What was balanced on top of her forehead was a rolled up piece of paper that became a list. A list of books, complemented by a list of authors. And each book, once found, was a book devoid of words. Purely illustrations. Many abstract. Many without a discernable hero. Just a list of books containing stories without heroes.[/hider]

[hider=Angelique Lachance]
By the time she woke up, a karaoke machine was already installed in her room, filled with sappy romance songs and painful country songs. Not a single half-decent death metal song in sight. Unbeknownst to her, the lobby of Building A had already been plastered with posters advertising ‘karaoke night’ at a certain room.[/hider]

[hider=Allison Revel]
An advent calendar for January rested on a silver platter at her table, accompanied by a thick file that had the profile picture of every handsome bachelor or bachelorette living in Building A. Each flap opens up to reveal a flavoured condom. 31 days and 31 distinct flavors. Gotta catch em all.[/hider]

[hider=Savannah Churchill]
Opening up her fridge that morning revealed that Santa had apparently decided reciprocate the milk and cookies she left for him and filled up every available space with jugs of milk. 2% organic milk, expiring within two weeks. A note falls onto the floor, apparently pinned between the door and the frame of the fridge. “Good luck, leprechaun.”[/hider]

[hider=Christmas Halvost]
Instead of bed covers, Christmas was blanketed with a XXL-sized t-shirt, featuring a whole bunch of cat girls from a visual novel he had been rather into recently. Cat Girl Paradise or something like that. Nevertheless, the poses that those anime girls were in on the shirt were definitely rather…hardcore.[/hider]

[hider=Aaron Erikson]
A small box, simply wrapped, contains a brass pocketwatch from Switzerland, elegant in design and accurate in function. There are two winding keys, one to adjust the time and another to activate the second function of this watch: that of a music box. A fantastical tune tinkles softly from it. Wound to the limit, this tune lasts five minutes.[/hider]

[hider=Ernest Mars]
There was no embellishment, no decoration. All there was was a weight on his pelvis, and Ernie would wake up to a handheld, solar-powered, waterproof vacuum cleaner, a high-tech tool that he can carry with him anywhere. No more lugging around. No more tearful farewells. Now, they can truly be together, wherever, forever. [/hider]

[hider=Sophia Lemane]
Headphones were what came out of the shiny paper bag. Headphones for someone without a music player. Its noise-cancelling abilities were excellent, as if it was designed solely to shut out the rest of the world. With these on, even in a crowd, she can just be alone with her thoughts. Wireless, broken headphones meant solely for solitude.[/hider]

[hider=Gregory Irving]
Gregory received a copy of Huniepop on his Steam account. At only $2.30, it was definitely a steal for something that will keep him awake all night for quite a few nights.[/hider]

Brent tears off his white beard, tosses his red cap into the garbage, and carefully, CAREFULLY strips off the optical camouflage suit that he had continuously overclocked throughout the night. His body was red from the high temperatures, and he immediately dived into a snowbank.

It had taken him six dozen drinks before Zhang agreed to give him his allowance in yearly instead of monthly lumps, and he had then roleplay as a dog for two hours in order to get her to hand over the master key to the dorms for a night, but ultimately...

"BRENT! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

Worth it.

Merry Christmas, you degenerates.