[img]http://i.imgur.com/0mML7tq.png[/img] The second day is over, and the second night begins. And though we've lost many; Broby to the blade-master Carrie Fisher, Obama to the vengeful mind of his 2008 primary opponent, Lincoln to a complex assassination plot, and Bernie to a lake, there are plenty of other tributes on the ground ready to fight for their lives. [img]http://i.imgur.com/wz0QcfN.png[/img] Broby gets revenge beyond the grave? A trap of unidentified make ensnares CNN and leaves that network dangling helpless above the forest. Leonardo DiCaprio stops feeling sorry for himself, puts home out of his mind, and arms himself with memes to take down Shifty. But Shifty knows memes, and he absorbs the attack, becoming a powerful meme unto himself. 2017 will be the year of the Shifty Kebab Seller. The first night, Mr Rogers cheerfully sung songs with PokemonGO and Bowser. Night two however sees Mr Rogers drunk on the Schnapps he received from KnightShade, putting him in an angrier mood and inspiring him to make weapons. HaleytheRandom receives clean water. Hopefully this will put her back on her feet after her breakdown on Betty White's piss mound. Rodrigo Duterte wishes he was Bowie. Was this a revelation fed to him by the memes he received from Aaron? Or is Duterte jealous that a big strong man like Trump would chose David Bowie for his experiments with man-pussy? Birdie Sanders, suffering from a sprained leg and another separate injury, tries to keep calm and sing himself to sleep. He is a bird, so the singing shouldn't be that difficult. Bowser, sleeping next to his newly discovered Bowser River, has nightmares. He hasn't done much this time around to warrant those nightmares. The first thing he did upon entering the arena was find a canteen full of water. And just now he has found a river... maybe that's it. Maybe all this water is keeping him up. I bet he's having those pee nightmares, where he has to go in his dream but he just doesn't for whatever reason. Pokemon GO doesn't have Mr Rogers and Bowser to sing with, so he quietly hums his theme song and tries to get some sleep. The Phantom of the Opera looks up. Somebody gives Britain a Weapon of Minor Destruction. Shoryu, both his roommate and his circuit dead, has had a bad day, and he cries himself to sleep. [img]http://i.imgur.com/XaWixXt.png[/img] Putin kills Trump Pepe in a stunning upset. The two worked together to kill Lincoln, but even with the emancipator's blood still warm on both their hands, Putin turns around and brutally kills the Pepe. The last thing Trump Pepe sees is Putin's smiling face, a knife in his hand, Pepe's blood splattered all over him. Alec Baldwin received fresh food last time. Now he eats a worm. I guess the worm must have been the fresh food he received? Or maybe he's just really hungry. Fighting with Jill Stein might have taken a lot out of him calorically speaking. Meanwhile, Trump is in love. MSNBC, the one that got away, having literally ran away, now has Trump's heart. He spends the night scratching "MSNBC" into a tree. Somebody rewards Carrie Fisher for killing Broby by giving her bombs. Many of our tributes form temporary truces and spend the night in conversation, but not Betty White. She sits alone on her hill and bitches about the Waifu on the internet. This isn't the first time the Waifu has been shit on like this; Birdie Sanders scared her right out of the gate, and Bernie Sanders followed it up by flipping her off unprovoked. The only victory she can really claim this season is an extended viewing of a naked Boris Johnson, if we are going to consider that a win. Somebody sends Dat Boi first aid. Dat Boi is just dat cool. He had a really bad ass intro, he made Gene Wilder blush, and he killed the bully Arnie because bullies are not cool. Of course people are going to give him things! He deserves those things! Stefan Karl Stefansson is cornered by Martin Luther King JR and Death himself, but in an amazing twist, he kills them both. This means that, in 2016 when death was taking celebrities left and right, Stefan Karl Stefansson fought back and killed death. Hillary finds out how everybody has been tweeting all this time. Clocktower Echoes looks at the stars, but Prince looks into the void, seeing what the world will be like in 2017, and it scares him. [img]http://i.imgur.com/wFDqKOb.png[/img] The loser at the beginning of day three is the bees. Hillary and Chapa take off with their honey and leave them destitute. Alec Baldwin fishes. Seems like he could have saved that worm and used it for this? We'll give him a pass, there is no reason to think he'd have this survival stuff down before our games started. A Waifu is starting to get creepier than Donald Trump now. Yesterday she spent all day watching Boris Johnson bathe, today she spends all day watching Dat Boi do the same. Maybe all the hate she was receiving is justified. Trump gets the same disease that killed Ted Cruz. This is where the joke about Republicans being full of shit comes in. For Trump though, I think this is simply what happens when you spend precious survival time chasing after men. David Bowie flips off Gary Johnson. Don't know what Gary Johnson did to provoke Bowie, but it could have been worse since Bowie is also armed with explosives. Leonardo gets away from Jill Stein by jumping from tree to tree. It's a brilliant get away plan because Jill Stein will stop and hug each and every tree along the way, and Leo will get away quickly. A Basket of Deplorables and Pokemon GO are together I guess, but then they stop being together and search for resources. Keyguyperson, having given a rifle to the Basket earlier on, now arms Rodrigo Duterte. Duterte has done pretty well for himself. Though he failed to be Bowie, he did manage to retrieve a sword, some honey, some memes from Aaron, and now a Mosin-Nagant from Keyguyperson. Putin, his desire to kill not sated by the murder of the Pepe, drags a fish onto shore just to watch it drown in the open air. Shifty Kebab is surprisingly allowed into Boris Johnson's Britain, and they join up with Stefan Karl Stefansson to hunt for other tributes. [img]http://i.imgur.com/WzH8C7q.png[/img] MSNBC constructs a place to hide from Trump's exploratory probing. Haley, just calming down after her emotional breakdown on night one, is scared witless by Bowser and forced to run away. Bowser now has the run of Haleytown, the area where she did her earlier construction projects. CNN joins up with Prince to kill Gene Wilder and Mr Rogers. Turns out Mr Rogers drunkenly carved spears weren't enough. Clocktower Echoes, having spent all night staring at the sky, spends the day sleeping. Birdie Sanders recovers enough to help Carrie Fisher search for resources. The Phantom of the Opera is having a nice time. So far he has shared resources with Leonardo DiCaprio and Alec Baldwin, just stood there and admired Jill Stein, went hunting, watched the night sky, and now he picks flowers. He's having something of a vacation here. Betty White leaves her hill on the third day and joins a romantic liaison with Shoryu. [img]http://i.imgur.com/mE9HTWc.png[/img] Some of these are surprising, other ones not as much. The death of death seems like a proper send-up for 2016. I will mess the "Death does X" statements though.