Walter stood by the booth with all the patience of a well-trained waiter or, at least, a robot designed to stand still while people argued about orders. If Walter could feel pleasantly surprised by the lack of arguments about who would have what, Walter would surely do so. Walter would also feel concerned about his lack of ability to feel pleasantly surprised, but fortunately the Manager hadn't forked out the extra credits required for an artificial intelligence capable of such introspection. 

 "[color=c4df9b]So that's a full rack of ribs, honey braised, with sweet 'tater fries on the side, a triple kids size ribs, a large fries on the side, a mixed salad, the Venusian Sour Spheres Special, four bowls of, ah, honey, a [i]medium[/i] ribs, small side of corn, regular fries, a mug of Neat Wake-Up Juice, one honey ribs, one buffalo sauce ribs, one barbecue sauce, two pitchers of Headless Nugg-Slurry...[/color]"

 Flashing lights underneath a clear plastic panel began to blink and, from somewhere deep within the chassis of Walter, the quiet, tell-tale sound of two out-of-date computers making a data-handshake beeped out. If the blinking lights and beeping noises were any indication, there was a fairly intense communication going on between Walter and another robot.

 "[color=a2d39c]...thank you for your custom, your food will be ready in-[/color]" [i]beep, beep, beep[/i] "[color=a2d39c]-six minutes and four seconds. Please enjoy a complimentary copy of our [i]Space Friends Newsletter[/i] and our endless ice-cream dispenser. Today's special flavour is,[/color]" [i]beep, beep, [b]beep[/b][/i], "[color=a2d39c]meat. Your cred-card has been charged. If you would like to amend your order, please do not hesitate to flag down myself or one of my fellow waiters.[/color]"

 A freshly printed [i]Space Friends Newsletter[/i] began to print out from a device lodged into the chest of Walter. Some of the older Walter-Waiter robots had a rear-mounted printer, which made children giggle, but didn't test particularly well with adults in the focus groups. With a flourish of an arm, Walter lays the still warm newsletter down on the table between the group. It's a single page, printed out in a font that looks suspiciously like [i]Comic Sans[/i]. With nothing left to do, Walter skates over to the next booth, and begins to take yet more orders.

[hider=Space Friends Newsletter]
 [b]SPACE ACTION IN ORBIT OF NAVIM[/B]
 [I]By Wirt Rex, ISF Correspondent[/i]
 Wreckage rains down on the population of Navim III tonight as the final remnants of the [i]New Navim Liberation Front[/i] fleet were engaged by a naval fleet aligned to the local government. Members of the Interplanetary Space Friends fought on both sides of the conflict, and conducted themselves with all the dignity and good natured cheer one could hope for in a war that has claimed millions of lives so far. During a press conference, Marshal Nami Tesserai III of the loyalists spoke candidly about the work of the Interplanetary Space Friends, praising their "fanatical dedication" and "reckless disregard for the rules of war", openly shedding tears of joy while relating the actions of a handful of unnamed ISF members aboard the [i]NLF Deliverance[/i], a medical ship rescuing stranded escape pods.

 "It was a bloody great battle," reports ISF member Gunhappy Saint Anne, "like, something you'd see in one of those films. Part of me is hoping this was the final battle that'll break the backs of whoever it was we were fighting, but, honestly, Wirt? There's a part of me that hopes they try and fight back again. Shout out to the rest of the crew! [I]Pork Warriors forever![/i]"

 [b]NEW FLAVOURS TRIALLED IN SCARA REGION[/B]
 A Henderson's Ribs manager has been catapulted into the limelight this week following the discovery of two new flavours. Due to confidentiality agreements and a stern warning from our legal team, we are unable to commit to print details of these new flavours, but our intrepid reporters on the scene have managed to get a few words with overjoyed customers. Of the twenty four people interviewed, the majority described the flavours as "curious", "interesting" and "blinding". We're urging anyone in the Scara Region ("[i]Visit Scara, it won't scar ya![/i]" - Scara Tourist Board) to pop in, try out the new flavour, and write in. If we print your letter or obituary, you or your next of kin could win a trip to the Henderson's Ribs Processing Facility for the Scara Region.

 [B]HELP NEEDED[/B]
 [I]Need help? Write in with your request and get some help![/i]
 
 [b]HELP URGENTLY NEEDED[/B]
 Vedriephus (The foggy one, [b]not[/b] the desert one). Moral quandry, need outside viewpoint.
 Contact "Miss Brrirrobbi" [i]with all haste![/I]

 [b]IT'S TIME TO PARTY[/b]
 Ofromia. Help Zane Heron throw the greatest party of the season.
 You won't regret it. Clothes provided!

 [b]MUTINY ABOARD THE LECLERC[/b]
 Innovative Industries Company looking for team to handle workplace dispute at Leclerc Manufacturing Station.

 [b]HELP OUR MOON IS MISSING[/b]
 Planet Uskolla. The one that had the nice moon.
 Shrink ray accident. I have leads, just need somebody to follow them up.

 [B]EMERGENCY DELIVERY[/B]
 [i]Exciting[/i] opportunity to visit scenic Scara 20U1. Contact Tutzal's Toppers.

 [b]I WANT TO DIE[/b]
 Not, like, a cry for help or anything. It's complicated. Contact Weef Flagmatag @ Roelea.[/hider]