A large armored clad figure woke up from his drunken stupor. He had vaguely remembered coming to this sleepy little inn for some reason related to a quest or vision or something. Or perhaps it was just because he got into a drinking contest with a gnome, he was obviously cheating by using a pretty crazy brew. Malkai was fairly certain he still won, however. The big brute dragged himself off the tavern floor and looked for his axe, which was deeply embedded into a stone pillar. With a swift jerk he managed to get his axe back and stumbled out of the tavern.

Malkai had hoped to take a step outside for some fresh air and a place to vomit, but instead it looked like he came upon a scene. Worried that he [i]might[/i] have killed someone last night and didn’t clean it up, his worries were immediately gone when he noticed two familiar faces: Lotte and Flan. Otherwise known as Lolibomb and Blondie Boobs. At least that’s what he calls them. Seemed like Blondie Boobs was causing some scene and in traditional fashion Lolibomb intended to blow something up. There was a bomb that rested right between Boobie’s boobies, no doubt from little miss [s]Samsung Note 7[/s] blaster caster. The orc sighed and approached.

[color=00a651]”Oi, Lolibomb an’ Blondie Boobs. Long time no see. What chu muckin about fer?”[/color] Malkai approached the scene, dwarfing everyone present. No one even reached his shoulder height. He looked down at Blondie and could tell from a gut feeling (Or maybe he was just hungry) that she hasn’t eaten in some time. No, she wouldn’t [i]die[/i] from starvation anytime soon, but she could certainly use a snack. Fortunately Malkai had just the thing. 

He reached underneath his armored kilt, and brought out a black, long, thick piece of orcish sausage. It was at least twelve inches long and stood stiff as a sword. It’s strong scent would no doubt he familiar for both Lotte and Flan, as they have tasted Malkai’s meat many times before. Sometimes by force, but usually by choice. Malkai’s choice that is. As he pushed pasted everyone Malkai lowered his body close to Boobie’s head, were he then slapped her across the face with his big black sausage. [color=00a651]”Oppai! Quit yer muckin’ about! If yer hungry then eat my meat stick, ya ditzy chick!”[/color] Malkai’s continued to wave the sausage right above Flan’s mouth, occasionally poking and slapping her face with it. All the while Malkai mostly ignored Lotte’s bomb, though not because he wasn’t worried about it but because he wanted to see how everyone would react when it blows up in their faces. Malkai was almost certain he’d survive at least, and Flan. She usually did anyways.


[@KoL][@Darkmoon Angel][@Ryougu][@Gareth][@TheWindel]