I know I make up a lot of excuses, I apologize for that, but I'll be honest with you guys. This last year or so has been really tough on my mentally and physically. I didn't think my deployment to Afghanistan would have affected me as much as I would have thought, but it seems is has (nightmares, alcholicism, depression, etc..). Once back in the states I hit the ground running pretty much, being military police is a tough gig 24/7, but the heat picks up around the holidays when depression is at an all time high in the military. My grandma died while on deployment and it hit me hard not being able to go back to see her, and I very recently lost my grandfather, he just didn't have the willpower to want to live anymore after grandma. Still trying my best to pick up the pieces, but more I pick up the more I keep dropping.

Not trying to do the whole sob story, but life definitely knows the best time to kick someone is when they're down. All I can think is, you've met with a terrible fate...haven't you?
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbMQfaG6lo8[/youtube]