[img]http://i.imgur.com/5U7hyzF.png[/img]

[@Indra]

[hider=Uchiha Ria][center][b][h1]UCHIHA RIA[/h1][/b]
[img]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/03/12/01/031201f5adba7b18e0f840b8e453944e.jpg[/img]

[b]“I'll make a mochi out of you.”[/b][/center]

[hr][hr][center][img]http://i.imgur.com/TMbw86q.png?1[/img][/center][hr][hr]
[b]NAME[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Uchiha Ria[/color][/indent]
[b]ALIAS[/b]
[indent][color=gray]The Silver Comet[/color][/indent]
[b]GENDER[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Female[/color][/indent]
[b]AGE[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Eleven[/color][/indent]
[b]ORIGIN[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Konohagakure[/color][/indent]
[b]RANK[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Genin[/color][/indent]

[hr][hr][center][img]http://i.imgur.com/QGxTMQi.png[/img][/center][hr][hr]
[b]APPEARANCE[/b]
[indent][color=gray][color=red]Considered diminutive and tiny[/color] to most people's eyes[color=red],[/color] but big [color=red]when it comes to the matters of[/color] the heart. [color=red]Ria[/color] is known [color=red]for her razor-sharp[/color] tongue and [color=red]insatiable appetite;[/color] The way she looks and acts is sharper than any [color=red]dual-[/color]edged sword. Ria's eyes [color=red]are[/color] colored onyx which is common among her clansmen but deceiving due to her distinctively upbeat nature. [color=red]Ria[/color] takes after her father's eccentric nature and bears a strong resemblance [color=red]to[/color] her mother. 

Ria breaks the trend of her clan's traditional long collared blue and dark garments, she sports lighter colors and shades. A perfect example would be her silver-white sleeveless kimono with red markings (black shorts inside the seemingly short skirt), black ninja boots and silver-white long gloves with red markings. In all fashion sense, she keeps her hair either unkempt or tied depending on her mood, and has a variety color selection of her outfit. Even though she is quite small for her age, she is adeptly fast in all sense [color=red]of the definition. Ria is[/color] quick to talk, walk, run, answer, question, and laugh. It's not hard to spot Ria, considering her eccentricit[color=red]ies[/color].
[/color][/indent]
[b]PERSONALITY & MOTIVATIONS[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Eccentric and cheerful, Ria is a weird force that one can get a headache from. Ria displays an abstract pattern of thinking yet subtly reserved by answering in a double-meaning manner which often times can [color=red]irritate[/color] people[color=red]'s ticks very quickly.[/color] She takes pride in her intelligence as she sees her craft intertwine with benefits in a clear circle and knowing this, she takes advantage of whatever opportunity that comes to her. Ria is a fan of books that range from multiple genres, [color=red]and[/color] quotes lines even though she may sound corny.

Ria has no problems in making friends given her upbeat and eccentric [color=red]personality[/color], [color=red]though[/color] oddly enough the friends she make[color=red]s[/color] are usually older people[color=red]; such as[/color] the typical old geezer [color=red]which tends to[/color] escalate into weirder conversations [color=red]which makes her seem[/color] quite mature for her age. That said, she hates it when she's proven wrong and loves it whenever [color=red]she's right[/color]. One thing that's surprising is that she isn't bothered [color=red]by[/color] receiving praise and is bluntly humble about it. When it comes to decision making, that is where she breaks apart[color=red]; individual decisions[/color] are easy but for a group it's harder, and deeper self ones are the hardest. [color=red]Oftentimes her[/color] "full proof" plann[color=red]ing[/color] does not go the way she wants it to.
[/color][/indent]
[b]CLAN HISTORY[/b]
[indent][color=gray]
The Uchiha Clan is one of the major clans in the village and well known as one of the eldest clans in history to ever exist. Specializing in fire techniques and the progressive sharingan, they are a force to be reckon with, and that's to those who awaken it; not all Uchiha awakens the sharingan but when one does, it changes the battlefield. Wars between certain clan[color=red]s ceased[/color] during the Konton Period when the Uchiha, Senju, Hyuuga and Sarutobi founded the village, and many years later the Uchiha Clan would have its Hokage who died anyway due to a heated ordeal.[/color][/indent]
[b]PERSONAL HISTORY[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Ria is thankful for the bit of family she got right now. Living with her father and younger twin sister and surrounded by those in her circle of society is more than enough to stay productive and call the village a place that is home. Two years ago, Ria's mother, Uchiha Rika was murdered by a man with red eyes and strange katana shrouded in lightning and Uchiha Kazuma her father was imprisoned in Kusagakure, a specialized prison that locks up those notorious criminals; The Blood Prison. No matter how much she cry out about the truth behind the murder of her mother, not even a single person believed her and most would think she's insane for defending a man like her father. She would write letters and make an attempt to visit her but she's constantly thwarted by the Clan head and the authorities.

Senju Yuuji, a co-worker of her father in the ANBU took her in when she was 9 years old and ever since the event that is called The Murder of U.R- Uchiha Rika, Yuuji retired from ANBU work and opened Mochi Dreams as his new line of work with Ria and his children being his associates. He stood for Ria in the absence of Kazuma, some would say that it's odd for a Senju standing up for an Uchiha due to their indifference in ideals but it didn't matter, nurture beats nature for Yuuji is well received by Ria and their bond is as sharp as any double edged sword. He's not just a father but a friend, a brother, a teacher and a Mochi Specialist? Yes, he taught Ria what it means to have a family and living a stable life, this is love.

When there is a time to spare, Ria would look for that certain girl and challenge her in all forms to no end, the most notable challenge would be in Kenjutsu and this would escalate for a day. She calls her by nickname and they go way back in their younger academy days and even though they are constantly in each others throats. At the end of the day is respect, they would motivate each other to do better; well at least that's in Ria's point of view. 

More and more, she comes closer to realization that her role as a shinobi is more than just serving the village and dying for it. Uchiha Ria is her name and that name alone given by her mother solidifies her purpose which is to find the man who murdered her mother and bring justice for her father. Ria could not forget those red eyes, seemingly she thought it was the sharingan and that strange katana that murdered her mother.[/color][/indent]
[b]INFLUENCE & RELATIONS[/b]
[hider=Immediate Family][indent][color=gray][list]
[*] [b]Senju Yuuji[/b], 41 years old. He took care of her and her twin sister, acted as the father of the family after Kazuma's imprisonment. He resigned from ANBU work just to take care of his family and Kazuma's children. Yuuji also built Mochi Dreams and his mochi had been making the sales successfully for two years now. Yuuji standing up as more than a father and a brother to Kazuma's children indeed shows in his mochi works because it is filled with love. Yuuji is all about love.

[*][b] Uchiha Kazuma[/b], 41 years old. The biological father of Ria and "K", he was imprisoned for the murder of his wife. Ria saw everything that day with her own eyes and believes till today that her father is innocent but according to evidence says otherwise. He is currently detained in Blood Prison and one day soon to be executed. Ria took after his eccentric personality and even though it is a serious matter, she believes that her father's eccentricity doesn't help in prison at all. It even makes him more look like he is hiding something. He is also skilled in kenjutsu and a practitioner of the Undrawn and Released Blade, Kazuma taught Ria the style but her progression was halted due to his imprisonment.

[*] [b]Uchiha Rika[/b], 83 C.E - 110 C.E.. Ria and K's mother who died in the hands of her own husband seemingly. Her children are equally close to her just as Kazuma but K is closer to Kazuma. She may have died horribly by the hands of the "Dragon Man" but she was a good mother who cook the best dishes and who love with all her heart. Yuuji describes that Ria looks a lot like Rika whereas K looks a lot like Kazuma but the likeliness is reversed since K acts more like Rika and Ria acts more like Kazuma. Ria is right handed while K is left handed while their parents; Kazuma is left handed and Rika, right handed.

[*] [b]Uchiha  Kanade[/b], 11. Ria's younger twin sister who is the total opposite of her in personality and deemed to be her "equal". However she still is in the Academy and has yet to graduate. The twins don't get along with each other at all and has a rivalry according to the younger twin in which Ria doesn't see at all. Indeed they are twins and Yuuji even explains that they are like fire and ice. Ria is fire and Kanade is ice. Kanade spends most of her time contemplating about surpassing Ria.

[*] [b]Uchiha Chiaki[/b], Clan Head and Aunt. All with respect and dedication although they aren't that close, Ria wants to get closer to her all the more and all the more Ria is beginning to question a lot of things regarding her father. Every time she sees Chiaki, she gets in a state of excitement which is totally reduced to a shy exterior.
[/list][/color][/indent][/hider]
[hider=Comrades][indent][color=gray][list]
[*] Matsudaira Kiri, 12. Ria is totally fond of her but never in a rival sense. She sees her as one friend that is one in a million and the one that is willing to run extra miles for you. Added to the fact that she's such a cute beast who would so prove liars out there to never lie again due to her strength but strength is something that Ria sees beyond for her, Kiri is more than a Puncher and Kicker. One last thing, Ria finds her so big that even her height of 4'7 makes her feel like an ant but that's a good sense since Ria believes she's a good person.

[*] Namikaze Fukushu, 11. Just seeing the look of her face everyday is something to be thankful and sorry at the same time. Apart from Mikki, Fukushu is one of the few people that Ria can totally relate to and sees herself in her, not to mention the entire concept of having a mother. In a sense of what would have happened if Ria let her clan's expectations get the better of her and not have love and beyond that Ria thinks she would have ended up like her if it wasn't for the people who always got her back. Whenever she sees Fukushu, Ria is careful with what she's going to say and do. 

[*]  T.B.A
[*] T.B.A
[/list][/color][/indent][/hider]
[hider=Rivals][indent][color=gray][list]
[*][b] Murakumo Mikoto[/b], 12. Ever since day one at the academy, they have been on each other's throats. Mikki is the sole reason that according to Ria motivated herself into putting her all into Kenjutsu and the only rival she sees worth of her time. Everyone else pales in comparison and anyone that is not named Mikki. There are certain times they get along well with each other but won't last long due their way of thinking. Ultimately, Ria sees herself in Mikki in the aspect of what her life would have been if her mother was alive and her father's not in prison and frankly, she envies her because of having a complete family.
[*] T.B.A
[*]  T.B.A
[*] T.B.A
[/list][/color][/indent][/hider]
[hider=Inspirations][indent][color=gray][list]
[*] [b]Senju Madarame[/b].  He is the premier swordsman in Konohagakure, excelling beyond the preceding generation’s notable kenjutsu specialists. It is said that Madarame is the equal of any samurai. This man is the very man that Ria looks up to, the very man whom she wishes to be when she grows up, as odd as it sounds because she's a girl soon to be a woman. Although Ria has not personally met the living legend, she continues to do her best everyday, hoping one day she'll meet him and get his autograph. 
[*] T.B.A
[*]  T.B.A
[*] T.B.A
[/list][/color][/indent][/hider]
[hr][hr][center][img]http://i.imgur.com/cKKkxGL.png[/img][/center][hr][hr]
[b]CHAKRA NATURE[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Fire[/color][/indent]
[b]SPECIAL TRAITS[/b]
[indent][color=gray]Ria is a practioner of the Mi-enshin Kaihō also known as the Undrawn and Released Sword. A unique form of swordplay that is a limbo between directness and decisiveness. Literally the sword being sheathed later to be unsheathed. The basic two forms are:

[b]Tojita-ha[/b](Closed Blade). On spot the most basic and simplest move of the Undrawn and Released Sword style. Mi-enshin Kaihō sword styles are designed to play decisive hits through varying feints accompanied by the wielder's speed and tactic that overpowers their opponent. Truly, the sword is sheathed when the wielder is the one delivering a blow. This style is more of the sword being sheathed and hit while sheathed.

[b]Karaware[/b](Cracked Sky). Given the directness of strikes while maintaining its decisiveness of delivering simple and multiple slashes and feints depending on the user. Since the sword is unsheathed, advanced forms of this technique depending on its user can employ only fire, lightning or wind releases. This is also the name of Ria's sword.

Ria is still young and has a lot ahead of her, she is far from mastering The Undrawn and Released Sword albeit a fruit that is yet to ripe.[/color][/indent]

[b]FOCUS & SKILLS[/b]
[indent][color=gray]As an Uchiha, Ria is expected to excel in all areas, typical and understandable given the Uchiha[color=red]'[/color]s nature as Jack of All Trades but master of none. Ria however has potential for Kenjutsu and had undergo[color=red]ne a[/color] short training period with her father prior [color=red]to[/color] his imprisonment, [color=red]which led to[/color] her progression [color=red]being[/color] halt[color=red]ed[/color]. Ria is still young and has a lot ahead of her, [color=red]but[/color] she is far from mastering her [color=red]sword techniques.[/color]
 [/color][/indent]
[b]EQUIPMENT & INVENTORY[/b]
[indent][color=gray]-Karaware
-General Ninja Equipment[/color][/indent]
[b]JUTSU[/b]
[indent][color=gray]
[hider=S Rank]N/A[/hider]
[hider=A Rank]N/A[/hider]
[hider=B Rank]■Mi-enshin Kaihou: Engetsu-ha[/hider]
[hider=C Rank]■Mi-enshin Kaihou: Mirajunohana
■[/hider]
[hider=D Rank]■ [url=http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Body_Flicker_Technique]Body Flicker Technique[/url]
■ Which in this case, Ria does not utilize it like how should it be but utilizes it as an[url=http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Afterimage_Clone]Afterimage clone[/url] allowing her to move among her afterimages and strike her opponents. She can only create at least 3 mirages given her age and level of power.[/hider]
[hider=E Rank][url=http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/E-rank]Academy Techniques[/url][/hider][/color][/indent]
[b]CUSTOM JUTSU[/b]
[indent][color=gray]
[hider=Engetsuga][b][u]Name[/u][/b]

Mi-enshin Kaihou: Engetsuga[i](Undrawn and Released Blade: Fire Crescent Blade)[/i]
[b][u]Rank[/u][/b]

B
[b][u]Range[/u][/b]

Mid Range

[b][u]Description[/u][/b]

The second formation of the Unreleased and Released Blade, Karaware and in many ways it bears a resemblance to the Flying Swallow technique as by imbuing fire chakra nature, the user is able to cloak the blade in flames and release it as a projectile. This technique is good for taking out multiple opponents.[/hider]
[hider= Mirajunohana][b][u]Mi-enshin kaihou: Mirajunohana(Undrawn and Released Blade): Mirage Flower[/u][/b]

[b][u]Rank[/u][/b]

C

[b][u]Range[/u][/b]

Close(Melee-Range)

[b][u]Description[/u][/b]

A mirage through the Body Flicker Clone effect, the user moves in an extreme speed showing three feints which makes it confusing for the target to attack the real one and a decisive blow is later delivered by the sheathed blade. This technique follows the first formation and principle of the sword style, Tojita-ha also known as Closed Blade. As simple as it is, this technique is easy to dodge given the attack pattern of left(afterimage 1) and right(afterimage 2) then forward(real one) attack fashion.[/hider]
[/color][/indent][/hider]
[sub]◈ Fixed some formatting of hiders and paragraphs. Inconsequential, but I am pedantic with this kind of thing.[/sub]
[sub]◈ There are a lot of difficult bits here coming from a language perspective— awkward phrasing, spelling issues, grammatical inconsistencies. I’ve correct and suggested some changes, though this does make me concerned if communicative consistency in your posts can be kept. But I’m going to look at this with a constructive and open-minded outlook. Keep these suggestions and corrections in mind when adjusting your CS, because it will need adjustment to be acceptable for me.[/sub]
[sub]◈ I really don’t see justification for giving genin nicknames like “The Silver Comet”— to me, those kind of names are earned by reputation which a genin really does not have. Eccentricity aside, the alias is probably a no go for me.[/sub]
[sub]◈ Ryo made a good point on this— the whole description of the whodunit feels very odd and I’m not sure what to make of it. I’m not sure if it needs to be removed, but rephrased and developed.[/sub]
[sub]◈ I think I have an issue in a twin because it serves as a background character I personally have to account for since they are Ria’s [i]twin[/i]. If this was a younger sibling I might be more open to NPC development, but unless someone were to pick up Kanade as a character I feel really hesitant on their inclusion. In the current build of this profile it seems like Kanade doesn’t serve much of a purpose outside of sibling rivalry mentions.[/sub]
[sub]◈ Pretty much what Ryo stated about the adoption angle. A large functioning clan like the Uchiha would definitely have the resources and manpower to educate Ria and Kanade following the dubious murder of one of their own by one of their own. I could see the Senju being part of their life but outright raising them is unlikely— they would probably be fostered by a sibling of her mother’s, a cousin, or even a distant kinsman. I would need a compelling reason for the Uchiha to hand over guardianship to another clan, especially one they have had back-and-forth relationships with since their formation over two centuries ago.[/sub]
[sub]◈ Is Mi-enshin Kaiho her only special trait? At any rate, if it is, I’d like it outlined a bit better— at least similarly to how Ryo detailed Murakumo Ninpo. I’d ask them for advice if this proves a challenge.[/sub]
[sub]◈ I agree with Ryo on the jutsu stuff.[/sub]
[sub]◈ Ultimately, this needs quite a bit of work but I am confident you will give it your best.[/sub]