She felt ridiculous.

Lorelai had been hovering like some kind of reedy wallflower outside the conference room for the past five minutes, hand frozen on the handle, watching the other students through the thin window in the door, and she felt absolutely [i]ridiculous[/i].

It wasn't nerves. She'd worked all of those out of her system during orientation, and while a few of the mutants were a bit 'boisterous', most had been amicable enough. This school was a new experience for all of them, whether you were thrilled about it or not, and that simple element of the Ashford Institute undeniably bonded them, student and teacher alike. 

It wasn't that she didn't want to be here, either. She did. More than anything, Lorelai wanted to be right here, right now, close to the answers she needed, safe from the outside world and the outside world safe from her. This place had been a beacon in the storm for her, her only chance to try and control what she was so something like Nigeria would never [i]ever[/i] happen again.

And perhaps that was it. [i]That's[/i] why she was hesitating opening that door and stepping into that conference room. It would mark the end of an era for her, the beginning of more uncertainty, another [b]massive[/b] change to her already upside-down life. There'd been moments during the past few weeks where she'd grappled with herself over the feeling that she might not be ready for this, although she'd have some degree of control over her situation this time. But the fact remained that beyond these doors… anything was possible. 

And she had two choices. 

Open the door and trust in the mysterious but messy ways life guided all.

Or turn around and leave for good, right now.

As it had irritatingly often in the last few weeks, a verse from Proverbs rose from the smoldering ashes of her Christian faith and swam through her mind. [i]"When you go, your way shall be opened up before you, step by step."[/i] Her father's homily about taking a leap of faith in life followed, echoing against her numb soul. Perhaps it was God's intervention, reminding her, coaxing her gently, reassuring her. Or maybe it was just the traumatized mind of a survivor scraping for some kind of hope. 

Whatever it was, Lorelai was turning the handle and stepping through the double doors before she'd made a conscious decision. Because a leap of faith was all she really had now.

She tried not to make an entrance, closing the doors carefully while the other students did…whatever they were doing. Showing off? She'd just made it for the tail end of Temperance's speech, her heart going out to the girl as she loitered awkwardly in the entrance, blocking the doors for anyone else coming in or going out. The blonde folded her arms across her chest, a defensive posture, hoping no one asked her to 'show and tell'. Hopefully the staff would be by soon to tell them why they were here, because Lorelai had her doubts that it was for any X-Men purposes. They were so young and untrained, everyone here was, and they had years to go before they could be anything close to what the X-Men were. 

They were bound to find out soon, either way.