[B][I]Mending wounds ft. Fallen & Dervs[/I][/B] Vellios edged into the hanger cautiously. His ear canals followed the Elcor metal blaring vibrations as his eyes flickered low for Tanya's peering boots underneath some bulky vehicle or shithead nearby. All the time, he navigated through the chaotic mess within the work space. He balanced an old ale bottle from the bar, his own drink, and a few mixed snacks so if Tanya wanted to throw something at him then it might be survivable at least. Being an alcoholic, he figured the ale would make the conversation go faster with any luck. Or at least keep him from farther digging an hole as humans put it. Upon finding Tanya, his foot tapped hers gently then shouted over the blaring noise,[color=rosybrown] "Hey, you got a moment? We need to talk."[/color] The sound of a heavy bolt hit the deck, followed by a muffled. [color=cyan]"Fuck!"[/color] Tanya slid out from under the front of the Yolac, one of the front suspension struts in tow. She looked up at Vellios. [color=cyan]"Wasn't geared at you, by the way. You just startled me. I tend to lose myself in my work."[/color] she said, taking a knee and carefully lifting the part of one of the work benches where it settled with a sizable thud. [color=cyan]"I can talk shit about batarians all day, but they sure as shit know how to make things robust. Anyways, what about? I thought we squared the shit with the chompy little wankers away already. Don't tell me you want to dredge that up again?"[/color] she asked, opening up one of the work bench's drawers and finding a long, narrow fork-like apparatus that she set down next to the strut and a pry bar. [color=rosybrown] "Yeah, you should see some of their older stuff.”[/color] Vellios scratched his neck again, thinking of the ancient collar he had on and how difficult it was to rip off. It was like ripping off his carapace, a mild description, as he shifted the food and drink to the nearest work table. [color=rosybrown] “More like Serena thinks if I explain things, it might help. Honestly… I doubt it. Hence why I’m been scarce, but she won’t let it lay until I do. You’ve seen how she is,”[/color] he answered then offered the ale and gestured for her to sit down,[color=rosybrown] “However, that’s not what finally decided it. Besides, I brought you food and drink so at least it should help make this more tolerable. However, the choice is yours.”[/color] [color=cyan]"I'm not a gal to say no to refreshments when at work."[/color] Tanya replied, activating her omnitool and turning down the music volume before hopping up to take a seat on an empty crate she was beginning to see as her "therapy session" crate, since it was where she ended up most of the time when discussing private matters with others. [color=cyan]"And yeah, I noticed she can be rather persistent. She practically begged me to teach her how to throw a punch or two on account of my being a marine and probably easy on the eyes."[/color] she said, grabbing for a clean rag and detergent to clean her hands off. [color=rosybrown] “She has a heart of gold despite it. Makes me worry sometimes since trouble seems to always find her no matter how hard I try to stop it,”[/color] Vellios agreed while he pulled up the tray and footed a crate himself. He then plopped down into his makeshift seat as he reached for his own drink. It would make this easier as he popped the top, then took a swig down his maw. No glass or anything this time. He didn’t want to count the drinks, but merely let the familiar buzz numb those jittery nerves filling the back of his attention. [color=cyan]"But I said before, yeah, I was pissed off about how everything went down... still am to an extent, but I think I understand where you're coming from. Top marks for intent, bullocks for execution. Can't expect everything to go smoothly when you're getting to know a new group of people thrown into some pretty stupid situations. There's a reason military combat units train constantly before they're deployed into combat, tends to iron out the shit we went through, the trust's there. We all kinda rushed into this gig like a bunch of dipshits. So really, and truthfully, I'm willing to put it behind me. You don't have to explain yourself."[/color] she said with a deep breath, looking at the tray Vellios brought. [color] “I know but as I said, I have another reason for doing this. I’m just trying to do it without going into a long winded explanation and defeating my purpose,”[/color] the turian stated as he thought about it more, his breath inhaled a moment and continued,[color=rosybrown] “Not expecting much, but how much [i]do[/i] you know about the Haides? I know it was most a turian ghost story, but I might be able to skip over some key details and background story making this a lot quicker.”[/color] [color=cyan]"I'm afraid I don't know anything about it, or really the nitty gritty shit that the Council Race myths and legends or even military events and so on so forth have going on in their history. I'm afraid I'm not super knowledgeable on those fronts. All I know is it was a bad place for you and made you the wonderfully sketchy person we have today, kind of like my Mindoir."[/color] Tanya said, picking up the ale and looking over it, more to give her hands something to do than anything. [color=rosybrown] “Actually, I was much worse. Had you reacted that way in front of me in the past, I would’ve smirked and provoked you into attacking me so I could slice you up at key areas designed for bleeding. Then I wouldn’t have batted an eye while I crippled you and left you out in the hull of the ship to die slowly,”[/color] Vellios spoke in a blunt and very serious tone. His eyes didn’t look at Tanya because he knew they lacked the remorse and guilt over his past, something he knew would disturb her and break whatever trust reminded. The turian took another deep draft of his alcohol before he continued,[color=rosybrown] “I have trouble empathizing since because in order to survive I had to shut it off. I’ve been gradually turning it back on ever since but T’Vync says it’s not uncommon for people like me never to be able to.”[/color] He reached for a snack to keep him from getting drunk too fast, then popped the dried meat into his mouth.[color=rosybrown] “So I react often to situations without thinking.”[/color] [color=cyan]"Charming. So save someone only to dismember them because you were a sociopathic ass? I'm not sure if this revelation is exactly reassuring. Kind of why I don't tend to, you know, pry about things people have been up to. Almost prefer you didn't decide today was show and tell."[/color] Tanya replied, rolling her eyes and hopping off her crate to return to the job at hand. She needed to focus her emotions into something productive before anger overtook her. The hell did he need to bring this up for? [color=cyan]"So, what? I'm supposed to be thankful that you only laughed at my fear of being sexually assaulted on account of being bound by fuzzy handcuffs while unconscious by a self-professed playboy rather than butchered because you had a shit time in your life where you were a bad person?"[/color] she asked, a dark tone seeping into her voice. Vellios knew things would take a darker turn, he just didn’t realize it would’ve happened this soon. He quietly hated for being pushed into this situation and his talons tightened about his bottle in frustration at his inability to explain, careful not to crack it. He lowered his crested head into his talons for a moment while he considered just digging them into his carapace to ease his discomfort. Naturally her comment cut to the bone harder than he wanted but he knew correcting her would only lead to more arguments. [color=rosybrown] “No, that’s not what I meant and I said that [i]was[/i] how I use to be. It was an example over how Haides changes you and not an excuse for my actions, please let me finish. I act before considering the situation or how it looks out of habit,”[/color] Vellios inhaled then hoped his next words would help ease the anger he had caused,[color=rosybrown] “I was laughing over the fact you assumed something and how you mentioned you hated people that do that, not because you were frighten or upset. That didn’t even cross my mind until after the fact. I want to promise it won’t happen again, but I know I can’t because it might and not intentionally.” [/color] He let a subvocal sound of irritation at the situation while he added one last thing,[color=rosybrown] “I thought explaining it might help you realise why it might happen rather than expect you to take my word for it and think I’m being an asshole. I’m sorry I couldn’t empathize fully with your situation when it happened, but it's not for lack of trying.”[/color] Tanya stopped what she was doing, standing rigid. After a short spell, she finally spoke. [color=cyan]"Remember how you once told me that nobody should try to wake you up because you might attack them? Imagine what it was like in my situation. I had some kind of toxin flowing through my system that more or less made me numb and put me to sleep and I wake up, dazed and confused and a bit terrified because the last thing I recall is being swarmed by dozens of flesh carving teeth, and the next I wake up, somewhere that still isn't familiar to me, and bound with fetish gear. And you [I]laughed.[/I] I wasn't in my right mind, and all you had to do was reassure me. Trust is a two-way street. You give me shit about me assuming, well... there you go."[/color] she said, although her tone had softened somewhat at the end. [color=cyan]"Look, Vellios."[/color] She said, turning to face him, her eyes wide and her mouth locked in a perpetual perturbed frown. [color=cyan]"You think anyone on this boat came from somewhere happy? What idiot in their right mind would sign on for this operation unless they were desperate or trying to escape something? I'm not going to pretend I understand what you went through, but don't think for a moment that you're the only one who's lost a large part of their humanity... or whatever the fuck the turian equivalent is."[/color] She said, placing a hand on her chest. [color=cyan]”I lost everyone I ever cared about, and before I found this lot, I was alone. Not how I wanted to carry on my life, but here I am, trying to start over with a bunch of strangers who seem to have largely come from the darker side of grey on the morality scale. I got abandoned by the system I swore to serve and uphold, and my own mother discarded me because I came back too damaged for her liking. Great homecoming for a girl who got to watch children get gutted by batarians while having her face coated with the inside of her best friend’s head, wasn’t it? The difference between us is that I still believe I can find the woman I was before I lost everything, and I sure as shit don’t want to take my trauma out on others. I just want to get better.”[/color] [color=rosybrown] “Sanity in our case, which I’ve already lost a long time ago,”[/color] Vellios quietly said then thought about his next words, deciding against opening key tidbits for Tanya’s sake and likely request,[color=rosybrown] “Another difference is that we prioritize things differently. Mine tends to be more self-focus first than others in the aftermath, a fact I’m not proud of, but it is what it is. If it’s worth knowing, I envy you for being able to get better. I know what my future holds at the end and while I’ve accepted it, I don’t think Serena will.”[/color] He took another drink to let the words settle on the air, his eyes spying her reaction before he then commented,[color=rosybrown] “I figure if we knew how each other ticked, it might make things better next time. However, maybe I just made things worse instead. It isn’t the first time.”[/color] [color=cyan]"For what it's worth, I appreciate you coming to talk to me, and try to explain things, as ass backwards as they might be. I forgive you for what happened; I just want to move on. This Jalopy is way too small to hold a grudge, anyways."[/color] she said, picking up the bottle Vellios brought for her. [color=cyan]"Bit weaker than the usual, but I'll take it as a peace offering. And I don't believe anyone's beyond finding better. I'm not going to fool myself and pretend I'm going to be the same person again, but I'd like to at least reconnect with it, you know? I don't think you're as doomed as you think you are. Notice how you decided not to chop me up and instead try to talk to me after the fact? Progress."[/color] She smiled. [color=cyan]"Recovery isn't like turning on a light where suddenly there it is, it's recognizing the small little victories and steps forward. If you ask me, you're going down that road whether you realize it or not."[/color] Vellios nodded, letting it rest for now, as he tilt his head back for another drink. The bottle was lighter than before, drawing his gaze to note it was empty and then tossed it into the nearest compactor. He still had no buzzing in the back of his head showing how much tolerance he had developed over the years, both a curse and blessing. Shrugging off the result, his head turned up at Tanya’s comment about the ale being weak causing him to tilt his head to the side and his brow arched in question,[color=rosybrown] “I couldn’t taste it so I can’t really judge if it was worth it or not. It’s also from the Jalopy’s pantry as the last time I got off the ship, I did this.”[/color] [color=cyan]"Oh, god, I hope it's not one of the bottles that came with the ship..."[/color] He held up his bruised and now less bleeding talons on his right hand. Bandages were haphazardly patched and slipping down, each swollen knuckle revealed after using a local tree with his bare fists. Each reflex made them sting but nowhere on the level they had originally. Setting his hand back down to lay across his thigh, he chuckled at Tanya’s comment about not being as doomed. [color=rosybrown] “Now you’re sounding like Serena. People like me tend to relapse often, resulting in… How do I put this? We never get the chance to die of old age, so far.”[/color] [color=cyan]"No time like the present to break the mold. Feels like half the reason I decide to do things is because it's not what's expected. Point is, don't worry about what hasn't happened yet and just take it a day a time. Just remember it's never that there's people like you, there's only you. You never have to accept the trends and go with the flow, even if said trends are disturbingly Nihilistic. One foot before the other, you know?"[/color] Tanya replied, deciding to set the bottle down. [color=rosybrown] "I'm not worried about myself. I had a hell of run so far and lived a wonderful life, so if the end comes... I won't stop it."[/color] Vellios looked at complete peace with the future he knew was likely, a playful smirk darted across his mouth and the usual playfulness colored his expression. It stayed there for only a moment. A dark cloud of worried and foreboding clouded over his icy blue irises before he turned his head, avoiding looking at Tanya,[color=rosybrown] "Haides survivors tend to get violent in very heavy relapses, similar to when I fought that Krogan in the pits. Only one day, I might not be able to tell the difference between memories and reality. A scare I had today."[/color] [color=cyan]"What happened?"[/color] Tanya asked, furrowing her brow. [color=rosybrown] "I've not told Serena and I don't want to because she'll be watching me like a hawk,"[/color] his eyes looked up and made a request,[color=rosybrown] "Promise you won't tell anyone else?"[/color] Tanya rose a hand as if she were taking an oath. [color=cyan]"I promise. What's told to me stays with me, kind of like how I expect the same courtesy in turn from anyone else."[/color] Tanya said earnestly. [color=cyan]"Never was one for gossip. But if talking helps me understand you better, and maybe gives me the chance to step in when warning signs are coming up, then yeah, I think it's worth knowing about."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "You know how I cracked my ribs, right?"[/color] [color=rosybrown] "After the incident and fact I hadn't released pent up frustrations over what happened between us, I slipped back into old habits. Making myself very scarce and ended up shifting my bed into a makeshift hammock in one corner of my room,"[/color] He held up his talon for a moment in case Tanya decided to interrupt and ask him how he managed to do that,[color=rosybrown] "If you're still curious, I'll show you later. I think I swiped at least a bolt gun to insert a crude hook. Anyways, after talking with Khosin and Iosif, I went to see if I had hurt myself after falling out of it during a nasty dream."[/color] [color=cyan]"At the very least... I'll take a gander at whatever you rigged up to make sure it holds. Least I can do."[/color] she said, blinking at the revelation he'd decided to make a hammock out of all things. Vellios paused for a breathe then continue,[color=rosybrown] "When I took off the cast, I noted there was a large gash running down my ribcage. Thinking I had actually cut myself, I grabbed some stitches then started to patch myself up. If they hadn't been liquid stitches, I would've ended up puncturing through healthy and healing carapace without knowing it."[/color] [color=cyan]"Y'know, there's all sorts of medical facilities here that probably can do a better job than you at that in the bathroom with a needle and thread and less of a risk of infection. I'd offer to help but,"[/color] she held up her grimy hands for inspection. [color=cyan]"There's a reason you don't ask the janitor to also be the cook."[/color] Vellios lifted up his arm for her to see,[color=rosybrown] "Yea, but do you know how confused the doctor would look at me if I told him about a gash instead of a bruise? I'm not very aware or myself when I'm put on meds for hallucinations. They also tend to warp my personality into something I much rather avoid."[/color] He carefully lifted up his shirt then detached the cast. He finally gestured for her to take it before he dropped it, as he let her see the vivid, healing purple coloring his ribs,[color=rosybrown] "You can still look at least. Dr. T'Vync and I had tacked down at least few triggers: the nightmares and isolation for long periods. One of the main reasons I like being around others instead of alone."[/color] Tanya carefully took the cast, trying not to touch the inside. Was she crazy in thinking she just said her hands were too dirty for sterile work, or was Vellios just suffering from a terminal case of 'dontgiveafuckitus'? [color=cyan]"I can relate to nightmares. Pretty much every night is the worst sleep of my life. I pretty much relive the trauma I went through every single night, so I can appreciate what you're going through. But damn, that does not look good. Trust me, hospitals have the weirdest shit walk through their doors. Their job is to fix you up, not ask questions. As for the company, well... you found it."[/color] Vellios hissed when he replaced the cast back on with a snap. Pain jarred through his sore area for a brief moment and faded into a dull numbness, his figure still hunched in to rest his elbows upon his thighs,[color=rosybrown] "Well, that's why I use the drugs. However, I'm careful and usually only buy from one dealer who has lots of repeat customers rather than new buyers. Mostly they just numb then I fall into a dreamless sleep. As for the self-patch jobs, it's more habit and harder to break."[/color] Adjusting the cast once more to a more comfortable setting,[color=rosybrown] "What was the coloring? Was it deep blue or purple?"[/color] [color=cyan]"Shit's purple. I... have no idea what that means."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "Means its healing. If it was denim blue, I am bleeding internally and we need to move quickly."[/color] [color=cyan]"Hooray for small victories. And I'm not going to say anything about your drugs, I mean, I drink way too much, but I kind of wish there were less shady alternatives."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "So do I, but I can literally count the number of still living patients like me on one hand. A turian hand. They don't mass produce the drugs that won't mess with my mind unfortunately because the Hierarchy doesn't find much point in spending money for a less than .0000-whatever percent to live semi-normal lives,"[/color] Vellios snatched a bag then popped in another snack into his mouth and chewed a moment. Upon clearing the bite, he resumed,[color=rosybrown] "Next time I patch myself, mind being my spotter? I much rather not be digging into my wounds for something that isn't there. Just in case this wasn't brought on by me isolating myself in my quarters."[/color] Tanya nodded. [color=cyan]"Of course. I'll be there when you need me, but wild idea... ever looked into what the quarians have to offer? Considering they deal with a constant state of medical crisis, maybe they have something that might be a bit more advanced than what the Hierarchy has on offer for the reasons you outlined. We're a team, so I'm here when you need it. I promise."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "Do you know how hard it is to [i]find[/i] a quarian for that or in general?"[/color] Vellios asked,[color=rosybrown] "Kasyra was the first quarian we've stumbled across and I've not seen many besides her. Odds in that might be a bit slim. However, if we cross one then feel free to remind me."[/color] [color=cyan]"I can paint it in writing on the bulkhead in your quarters if that helps."[/color] she grinned. [color=rosybrown] "And can I spam the picture I have of you drooling in your sleep all over the extranet,"[/color] Vellios retorted, smirking back. [color=cyan]"You'd use what limited extranet packets we can afford on that? How sweet. It's not like it would matter; I'm one of literally billions of people online. Gonna have to do harder than that to blackmail me."[/color] Tanya retorted, reaching for the snack tray. [color=cyan]"So, what exactly did you bring here?"[/color] [color=rosybrown] "High calorie snacks that could block an artery if you do a steady diet of it. Also don't encourage me, I've gotten pretty good at photo manipulation and could use more stock photos to practice with or put it on a turian dating site."[/color] Tanya took one of the packets and tore it open with a smile. [color=cyan]"And there goes my plans for making things awkward for Haze. I was going to sign him up for an interspecies gay dating site with a preference for hanar and krogan without him knowing about it and wait until he starts telling us about the traumatic things people are promising to do to him in his inbox the next time a packet comes through. And if turians are into drooling unconscious humans, gotta say you guys gotta work on that whole standards thing."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "And that's something unique only to humans?"[/color] Vellios commented, daring her to deny they could be into some fucked up shit. Tanya munched on some of the snacks, eyes widened somewhat, and she set it down, reluctantly swallowing what she'd already committed to. [color=cyan]"Oh, we're a horribly depraved lot. We just tend to keep that on the down low. And I promise you, I am a very resourceful person. That image goes up, and you've opened the floodgates to some rather unflattering situations, starting with me painting up something regarding you and selling it for a tidy profit so it can have the run around some online gallaries for a bit, and I have probably 500 credits worth of prank materials that I have stowed away that I haven't found a use for... but I may be looking at it."[/color] she said with a teasing smirk. [color=cyan]"I promise, if you want to start this dance, you'll be begging me to let you go to sleep or use the shitter without incident within days."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "Don't worry, I don't start shit. I only finish it."[/color] He winked in reassurance,[color=rosybrown] "Though keep in mind, I have enough lady friends to keep the story straight and I'm use to pushing the boundaries of things."[/color] [color=cyan]"Might be singing a different tune if every time you take a seat, you get a bit of a shock... oh, speaking of which, a peace offering."[/color] Tanya said, heading to one of her containers with a thumb scanner that popped open after a few seconds. She pulled out a handful of thin strips with paper backing. [color=cyan]"Been meaning to put these up. Take off the protective sheets and it completes a circuit that basically gives anyone who touches it a bit of a jolt that's like one of those joke buzzers you use to shake people's hands with clowns used to run around with. Attach them to handles, ladders, whatever surface people can't see but tend to touch, and we'll have ourselves a good laugh as the rest of the crew spends the next week trying to find out if there's any more lurking about."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "There's many places to shit...and I've been in less sanitary situations,"[/color] Vellios stated then spied her walking away,[color=rosybrown] "Make people think they are crazy if you can disconnect the look and make it stop whenever key people touch it. Personally, I think it might be funny to sabotage someone's seat."[/color] [color=cyan]"So like an interrupter relay? I can pull that off, I'd have to head into town to pick up some parts from a hobby store, but with about 12 credits worth of parts, I can put together something that's pretty harmless but will drive them mad for a little while until they find it."[/color] Tanya grinned. [color=cyan]"Strips are still happening, though. That's my freebie to you. I have a few other things planned, but it's all about pacing it out."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "Try not to push too many buttons. As you pointed out, none of us came from 'somewhere happy'. The shock stripes don't bother me much because of two years wearing a collar that seemed to be shock happy, but I can't say how the others will react or if it will set them off into a panic attack."[/color] Vellios said then pulled up a clock in his omnitool and thought for a moment then tapped a few things across th display, sending a message toward Dex to start heading his way. Tanya crossed her arms and cocked her head. [color=cyan]"You're allergic to fun, aren't you?"[/color] she pouted, still fully planning on carrying out her shit-headed operation. It was simply fair play that Vellios be warned of the opening salvo. It's what friends were for. [color=cyan]"Places to be?"[/color] she asked. [color=rosybrown] "If I was allergic to fun, I would be [i]stopping[/i] you, hun. Instead, I'm just asking you be careful with your fun is all. I'm not even going to speak a word of it to Serena though it might only work once, her droids likely can detect it after you get her once,"[/color] Vellios chuckled as he paused and considered how much detail to give Tanya,[/color=rosybrown] "Yeah, in a bit. I've been neglecting Dex thanks to my relapse, and I sort of want to change that. Might end up taking her out later after a bit of sheet fun. If she'll let me come up for breathe that is."[/color] Her hands went up to her ears. [color=cyan]"Ugh, nope. What you freaky bird monsters do in your private time is something I like to lock away in the horror genre and not the reality it happens a few doors down from where I sleep."[/color] She said teasingly, hoping Vellios understood she was being flippant. [color=cyan]"I'll stick down here with nuts and bolts that slot into holes that don't end up contaminating the bedspreads... god, I'm sounding like Serena, who might as well be Amish at this point."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "I'm pretty sure you 'apes' do some freaky things on your own. Kissing for example as I've heard numerous Turians say is gross."[/color] Vellios replied then chuckled and noted,[color=rosybrown] "I actually suspect she's into girls so you might want to watch your pretty ass, she might be eyeing it up when you're not looking."[/color] [color=cyan]"Oh, I have no doubt she's probably eye fucked me at some point. As long as it remains an art gallery and not a sculpting class, we'll be fine."[/color] He rose upright onto his feet, stretching out, as he looked at Tanya carefully,[color=rosybrown] "Mind if I leave the rest of this,"[/color] he gestured at the levos snacks,[color=rosybrown] "with you? I'm going to swipe the dextro variety for the road."[/color] [color=cyan]"Be my guest. I'll probably send them off to Tonka. He seems to eat literally anything and likes it."[/color] She replied. [color=cyan]"You guys have fun tonight. I'll just make sure I sleep with headphones."[/color] [color=rosybrown] "I might suggest putting in a gas pill then lock him in the mess hall, I believe Iosif is still eating there and it might be humorous."[/color] Vellios suggested as he moved off to find Dex, his mouth smiled at the through.