[quote=Heisenberg]
It's a matter of , as in, what the fuck actually the need to set time aside during urgent scenarios such as childbirth to update a status?[/quote]

I already gave one, quick way to notifying everyone.
Which may be exactly what you need if you're expecting to start pushing the baby out at any moment.

[quote=Heisenberg]It's weird behavior.Also, posting the news on social media rather than calling your loved ones is very poor manners. It's better to call those who you want to be involved directly.[/quote]

Depends on the individual and how you were raised.
I assume you were raised with the "Doing things over the phone is rude for big deals" sort of mindset?

Many people see technology like facebook as simply tools to accelerate the process of informing people.
It's not rude at all to inform someone of news somewhere they probably check a lot, and where notifying everyone can take 2 minutes rather than say 2 hours.
What one person thinks is rude is not rude in everyone's mind, cultural differences after all.

[quote=Heisenberg]And if you got a woman pregnant, to answer your hypothetical, and instead of actually being with them for the process (unless it's a c-section) you user your phone, I would hope they break your phone or whatever device you're using.[/quote]

You're hypothetical was having your water break. Not being with someone whose water broke. 
So the hypothetical I treated as assuming I myself was pregnant, hence hypothetical and why I felt the need to point that out being male.

[quote=Heisenberg]Also, to tap in to your social media bit again, why would you let anyone except for those you actually care for know? Fuck people who aren't playing important roles in your life and who you do not love. They don't matter to you, so there's no reason to tell them.[/quote]

Cause it also notifies those you do care for maybe?
You can set lists if you want for status to only show for those 'important people'.

Plus some people restrict their friends list only for those they care for. Not everyone's adds every person they've seen the face of before.
Also, just because someone may not be too close is no reason to avoid giving them said info.
You have a kid, sure you won't go out of your way to tell them, but why complain about them knowing if they do happen to find out?

[quote=Heisenberg]Furthermore: Your "nice try" comment: your username sounds like it'd be the name of a condom from a dead end pilot show on Adult Swim. You should have stuck with Gwazi, because at least we could abbreviate it to where it doesn't sound dumb while also leaving out Magnum.
[/quote]

Nice, poking fun at names. :P
That really shows maturity and helps your argument.