What does your IC post have to do with bringing it up OOC? 

In fact let me respond to your "You were saying?" question directly.

I was saying exactly the point that you just proved, that everything was an IC issue and you refused to bring it up as an OOC one. Not once did you bring up this idea that Kaito should know what Grey was doing or her limits or anything like that. You plainly stated that Grey understood HER OWN limits.

The correct approach would have simply been posting in the OOC at the player

"Shouldn't Kaito understand what she's doing and that she isn't sleeping or insulting him or anything like that?" and taken it from there.