[@Toxic Cheshire]
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Okay, to begin. Your character’s personality doesn’t really have any flaws. There’s nothing here to counter his all-around-nice-guy demeanor. That’s just not realistic, or, in my opinion, very fun to play. Give him some character flaws. Every character should have 1 serious flaw, and at least 2 minor flaws. It gives them more depth, makes them more real, shapes how they react to struggles, internal or external.

Next up, his bio. It’s simply too short, too brief. This is your character’s entire life up until the RP starts, does one paragraph really do them justice? There’s no city, no relations with his family, no drive, no drama. Frankly, it’s pretty underwhelming. There’s hardly even enough for me to critique. This isn’t a backstory, this is a summary. Beef it up more, make this character interesting. Think about where he’s from, how he interacts with his family members, what do his parents do, how did that affect him? Did he have friends growing up? Any pets? Any big life events that happened to him? He’s good at school work, okay, why? He plays sports, is he good? Does he suck? You really need to build a lot more here. A lot more.

Next up, his total lack of ambition. A scholarship character is not what you’re gonna want to play if your character has no motivation. The scholarships for St. Fortuna’s are highly competitive, and the school itself is much more intense than the average high school. It’s not something you attend on a whim or because you have decent grades. You have to want to be there. Why does your character want to be at St. Fortuna’s? If you don’t want to give them this motivation, I’d suggest making your character from a wealthier background, and have his parents send him to the school.

Then the likes and dislikes. They’re very cookie cutter. Everyone loves positivity and family (unless the backstory and personality are really convoluted) and everyone hates bullies. This really doesn’t tell me anything about the character, and only serves to make them appear more bland. Spice things up a little, include strange passions, irrational fears, things he detests above all others. This will help you with your character a lot in practice.

Then your quiz answers. The fact that your character has nothing they regret really speaks to me about him not having character. I don’t know about you, but I did a [i]lot[/i] of stuff that I regret when I was 16, stuff that still makes me cringe. And with question 6, you say pets, but there are no pets anywhere else in his story? Are these phantom pets that randomly appear and disappear? Quantum pets from outer space that fade in and out of our dimensions? Does he hallucinate pets? Either give him a pet or change this answer, as it doesn’t make sense with the rest of his story. What little there is of it.

In sum, your character is a skeleton, a first draft, a literal pile of bones. He doesn’t have any plot meat or muscle to hold him together, no skin to make him interesting and appealing. No eyeballs or perspective to see the world in, no flaws, no history, and a weird Schrödinger’s cat situation happening there in question number six. (Seriously where are his pets man?) You need to fatten this character up, give him a more in-depth backstory, make his likes and dislikes more personal, and fix the Twilight Zone scenario with the pets that are there, yet not there. Once these corrections have been made, we will be happy to review your CS again. :)
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