[@canaryrose]
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For starters, your character’s height. This is a trend I wanna stop right now, but 4’10” for a 16 year old girl? You realize how unusual that is, right? To put it in plain terms, 4’9” is the average height for a [b]10-year old boy[/b]. The average height for a 16 year old girl is 5’3”. If you could make your character’s height more plausible and bring us back from the brink of having Extremely Tall Boys and Extremely Tiny Girls, that would be much appreciated.

Next up, this is something we didn’t make very clear, and that’s on us, but a Mages and Familiars general don’t manifest their magic/ability until 12-14. Some don’t have it manifest until after they first bond with their partner. So your character prepping to be a Mage at a young age like 5-10 doesn’t make a lot of sense, in this context, when she could turn out to be a Familiar.

Also, Mage is not a profession. Mage is a person who has the ability to use magic. It’s something you’re born with and can’t change or erase. That would be, in this world, as strange as saying “I wanna be white when I grow up!” Pretty strange, right? That’s how it is in this universe. Mage and Familiars is simply the classification of people who can use magic, and people who can’t.

Next up, for both her parents to be untrained is rather strange. Even in public education, Mages and Familiars get some training. Untrained would mean their their powers could manifest randomly, which would be dangerous. While they wouldn’t get the same intensity or depth of training as St. Fortuna’s, they would still get some training.

Also… Where did the snakes come from? They’re mentioned once in the quiz, but nowhere else. This is the second incident of pets who appear once, but nowhere else and have no impact on the character. The Twilight Pets. Schrodinger’s Snakes. Please elaborate on them.

In sum, your character needs some work, but isn’t unworkable. Put them on the stretching rack, clear up the stuff with the mages and the parents, and tell us where the snakes are. After that, we’d be happy to review your character again. :)
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