[@canaryrose]


[hider= Saskia's review]
Okay, we still have some problems with your cs. We kind of expected you to elaborate more instead of just cutting out pieces of the cs. We still don't understand some things about your character. For instance, what is her goal in life? Like she knows she wants to use her future talents someday and is studying for that, but with no way of knowing if she is going to be a mage or a familiar, let alone what kind of mage or familiar, it would be hard for her to study with that as her focus. I know you have two possible job choices in Saskia's questions but we don't know how she came to choose those nor do they seem related. Why study so hard if your plan b is to become a cook?

Also, why is St. Fortuna your character's first choice? You don't need to go to St. Fortuna to be trained, there are other high schools that Saskia could go to. I get that it's a prestigious school but it would be nice if you could perhaps elaborate more on this.

Another thing we want you to elaborate on is her dyed hair and piercings. Why did she do that? I get that she's rebellious and eccentric, but she would have had to have a reason for herself right? Also, your character would have had to have been in middle school or a freshmen when they did this. How did she do this? Especially a piercing since she would have needed her parent's permission to have that done to her. (We're not saying you can't have it, but the school also has a dress code that says you can't have a piercing in during school).

We also want to ask you about her parents. They're not really elaborated on here. Do they support their daughter's decision to go to St. Fortuna? Did they try to punish her or talk to her about when she dyed her hair and got a piercing? It seems a little low bar that all her parents seemed to care about was that she wasn't doing drugs, especially if their daughter wanted to go to a prestigious school like St. Fortuna. Because while yes, she could still fit into the dress code, it probably would be a concern for parents who could only afford to send their daughter there if she got a scholarship. It just seems really strange that all they were, were shocked that their young daughter decided to get a piercing and dye her hair without telling anyone because she just wanted to, apparently randomly.

Could you also maybe elaborate on what lead her to want to be different to the point of changing her personality? Like, she probably didn't do that overnight. It feels like there could be some interesting character development there, it's just not developed yet.

To sum things up, elaborate more. This character is definitely useable but it's simply not ready yet. Really ask yourself "What does Saskia want? What are her major goals and why does she want to accomplish them? Why did Saskia want to be this way?" Once you edit it again, we'll be happy to review it : )
[/hider]

Also, for everyone else, I added what Nancy did during her summer break in her cs for those curious (because I forgot to when I made her cs and just now remembered XD)