This time Luca did [i]not[/i] do exactly as he was instructed. 

The pair of escorts had advised a complete lack of movement. To Luca, this seemed rather poor advice -- they were not, after all, 'weightless,' because nothing was ever 'weightless' in the sense that matter retained mass and so on and so forth. They were simply in freefall, sharing coincidental momentum with the 'slug' vehicle in such a way that their rate of motion had attained equilibrium with the vessel [i]simulating[/i] a lack of gravitational force. But an [i]actual[/i] absence of gravity was completely out of the question, totally beyond the realm of possibility.

These principles rattled around in his mind, and because they so rattled, Luca immediately forgot all his feelings of moron-hood. Immediately he was the all-knowing, all-understanding genius in a pod of Melvins. He [i]should[/i] have thought, "boy, the bedrock principles in this realm are a bit loosey-goosey, I should probably take a cue from the people who live here." [i]Instead,[/i] the zero-G sensation made him feel at home, and he acted upon instinct that were -- perhaps, it might turn out -- more appropriate for the universe from which he came.

Thus, rather than heed the warning of the two knights, Luca slowly and precisely maneuvered his limbs into a crash-ready position. He used the spinning shield as an axis of reference and oriented his ankles, knees, and hips in the manner prescribed by his factory-issued safety manual. He used his arms as calculated counterbalance to control for rotational velocity, and when he was satisfied with his impact-distribution ratios, he moved his arms -- slowly, like an underwater ballerina -- in opposite rotational patterns until they shielded his upper chest and head. 

All this movement may have appeared rather more than was necessary to assume his ready-position, but each fraction of a degree of motion was calculated. By virtue of his counter-movements, he gathered no angular momentum whatsoever. It was a net-zero closed loop of movement, which, frankly, was the sort of simple math Luca thought a baby ought to know how to do. Regardless, he considered himself ready for impact.

Safe at last, or at least under the illusion of being safe, Luca's self-doubt returned. [i]Oh, god, I hope I didn't just break everything. I probably just broke everything. Luca, you giant flipping idiot....[/i]