Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@JohnSolaris: Physical transformations beyond something like body-hardening are out of the realm of what an IE Skill is meant to be.

@CaptainCaptcha: Accepted.

@Raineh Daze: Accepted.

@Pandapaw23: Making superspeed notable in an RP like this is really hard to work properly without being overpowered, unfortunately. ^^; I'll try and help with any replacement power you might want.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BCTheEntity
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@Pandapaw23 That's a fair enough assessment. I will say that even a fighting series does sometimes have large exposition dumps... though in this case, it's really just me making sure every base is covered, so that everyone is clear on what Seirei can do, and failing to be concise in the process.

I'm not going to lie, though, folks. One of my primary concerns was with whether the power is too strong or not, at least compared to the abilities displayed by other characters so far. If I could get some opinions on that, I'd greatly appreciate it.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Spike
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Ah, I hope everything is alright.

Name: Kazuya Kazama

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Appearance: As part of his punishment, he's forced to wear the Janitor's Uniform of Despair. He has white hair, extremely pale skin, and his eyes turned red due to his rage.

Personality: Kazuya is an awkward teenage boy. He phrases things poorly and often puts his foot in his mouth. Prone to bouts of sulkiness. Persistent like a cockroach, though. He wants to join the Delinquents mostly because he thinks they can help him with his vendetta against the student council. He's a bit of a neat freak, and peopel making messes in the hallways stresses him out. He likes different kinds of games, including board games, video games, and forum-based roleplaying games.

Backstory: Kazuya only really went to battle school because it was within walkin distance. So he got a crappy AED at the store, showed up, and promptly got his butt handed to him. They also took his AED away. He declared a vendetta on the student council. As punishment for being useless he was given the Bucket+Mop Assembly and forced to work as a janitor. Keeping the academy cleaned is a very time consuming task. His grades have gone down the toilet, and he hasn't played video games in months. He decided it's the student council's fault, and he's vowed to put an end to them. Ever since, it's been a cycle of him attempting some ridiculous scheme to get back at them, then suffering a humiliating defeat. He can't even fight them, so it's mostly just annoying pranks.

Inherent Engine Skill: Magnet Pull: By altering his magnetic field, Kaz can stick to objects that are made of metal or have metal in them. This includes things like the walls of most buildings, among other things. It has a range of about three inches, so it works through things like clothes and fabric. He can use this to walk up walls and hold things really tightly. It's a very firm hold. You could try to pry him off of something, but you'd probably tear him apart before you got him off of whatever he was stuck to. He can pick and choose what he sticks to. So if there are a bunch of nails nearby and he tries to climb up something he won't be impaled.

Active Engine Device: Bucket+Mop Assembly: A bucket and mop, two tools absolutely necessary to the maintenace of the school. They are given to students as punishment, replacing any AED they might have previously had. They're both extremely durable. Countless students cursed with these items have tried and failed to destroy them. They have withstood nearly every attack. If not indestructible, these tools are incredibly resilient, even by AED standards.

The bucket is yellow with wheels. It's large enough that Kazama can sit in it, although not particularly comfortably. It has a detachable strainer/mop holding apparatus. Any water put in the bucket will be treated with special cleaning solutions. This makes it very good at cleaning, and also turn a very pretty shade of orange that simply does not occur naturally. Unfortunately, it smells terrible. Like dead fish you might find near a chemical plant. Just smelling it is enough to make your eyes and nose burn. While it won't cause any lasting damage, it is extremely unpleasant to have it in your eyes, and you'll need to wash it out before you can see again. When drunk, after a delay of about five minutes it causes intense and terrifying psychedelic effects. It tastes pretty good, though. A little like pink lemonade.

The mop is probably alive, or at least acts like it. It makes these weird burbling noises. If placed on the floor, it will always stay standing, haft standing proud and forever pointed skyward. If taken away from the bucket, it will slowly drag itself across the floor like a snail, attempting to find the bucket. The mop's main perk is that it can be extended to get those hard to reach areas. You wrap your hand around it, and stroke it, and it'll get longer. If you sorta twist your hand around it, it'll get shorter. Kazuya is very good at this, so he can extend the mop at speeds high enough to punch holes in walls. Licking it is very dangerous. Just don't lick it. There's no actual limit to how long it can get, but past a certain point it just gets awkward. Also, it's self cleaning.

Skills: Due to spending a massive amount of time cleaning, he is very good at wielding a mop. He can rapidly twist it to clean up dirt, balance it on his nose, hit people with it. He's very mop-proficient. Puts the "bad" in badminton. He's good at some card game about summoning demons. Most of his classes, he's garbage at them. That said, he's actually pretty decent at math. At this point, he's had many, many, many people attempt to maim him. So he's gotten pretty agile.

Rank: 0

Club: Will probably try to join the Delinquents.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Ryougu
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You wrap your hand around it, and stroke it, and it'll get longer.


Not sure you're thinking about a mop there, son.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Raineh Daze
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@Pandapaw23 That's a fair enough assessment. I will say that even a fighting series does sometimes have large exposition dumps... though in this case, it's really just me making sure every base is covered, so that everyone is clear on what Seirei can do, and failing to be concise in the process.

I'm not going to lie, though, folks. One of my primary concerns was with whether the power is too strong or not, at least compared to the abilities displayed by other characters so far. If I could get some opinions on that, I'd greatly appreciate it.


Yes. Quite excepting that his IES apparently makes him Fate/ Lancelot and 'instinctively a better wielder of any weapon than anyone at the school could be' (seeing as nobody here has had decades of practice) seems like an odd choice for 'magical ability'...

The AED's actual abilities seem to work out as:
1) Super sharp cut
2) Ignore being blocked
3) Super speed/strength/toughness
4) "That wasn't the real me you hit at all!" + teleportation
5) "Attacks from all directions simultaneously"
6) Everything is blurry because of the justification for all this, making it a pain in the ass without the boatload of special techniques.

That's way too many things going on at once, and the power justifying it feels like a cheap excuse afterwards. It can create intangible overlapping clones that take no damage... oh but they can clearly be tangible when it's convenient, i.e. purely for the sake of attacking? That's not clever ability use, that's tailor-making an ability to justify being as strong as possible.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BCTheEntity
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@Raineh Daze The clones do take damage. Did you think they don't take damage? And the listed techniques are a logical extension of what's involved in creating clones in that fashion; it's hardly tailor-made to act like that.

That said, I think I've misjudged what's desired for this RP, so I'm going to go ahead and remove myself from it. Thanks to those who supplied their opinions anyway.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by ThirdHourIII
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I'm hoping you guys are still accepting, though I think you are given that guy just quit. I'd be interested in making a character, though I'll warn you that I can take quite a long time to create one.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@HeroicSociopath: Hmm... I don't think he'd be punished just for getting beaten up immediately. Really, Atsuko would likely feel anyone getting beaten extremely badly is a learning experience for them.

@ThirdHourIII: That's fine! I'll help however I can.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TheFake
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@VitaVitaAR@HeroicSociopath what if it were a bet with other students or from his class? Maybe he was seen as letting them down in a group fight.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@TheFake: Hmm... in that case it still seems as if Atsuko herself would treat it as a learning experience. But the other students might not see it that way.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Spike
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<Snipped quote by HeroicSociopath>

Not sure you're thinking about a mop there, son.


It's a very nice mop.

Ah, I wasn't very clear. My bad. The punishment is less for losing, and more for blaming the student council and trying to get back at them with stuff like vandalism and stupid pranks as opposed to actively fighting them. So it may have been a learning experience, but he sorta refused to learn and instead blamed his problems on other people. He may or may not be right in doing so. What do you think, @VitaVitaAR?
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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Hmmmm.

That makes a little more sense, but I want to talk with my co-GM about some things too.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Spike
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Ah, fair enough. Thank you. He's also a very good custodian, so maybe they kept him as a janitor for longer than they would otherwise? Someone needs to clean up after all those fights. Also his custodial work has made him better at wielding his AED. So it's also a bit like he's being forced to train.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by ThirdHourIII
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I'm always open to suggestions and constructive criticism, doesn't matter if we talk here or over PM's.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@HeroicSociopath: After some talk with my co-GM, we think you should change the "sticky" ability to being the ability to magnetize himself to the metal in walls and mundane metal he's holding. It feels a bit more fitting.

@ThirdHourIII: IE Skills aren't tied strictly to the AE Device. I also admittedly am wary of people specifying IQ because that has tended to lead to people trying to say their character is more intelligent then everyone else in the RP ever but that might just be me. ^^;
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by ThirdHourIII
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@VitaVitaAR

Would you like me to change that in my sheet? I thought it could be an interesting drawback to the IE but it's fine either way.

As for his IQ I wasn't using it as a measurement for intelligence, rather his ability to use his memory as well as pattern recognition and special perception. But if you'd rather stay away from quantitative measurements I can keep it vague.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@ThirdHourIII: Yeah, edit that.

And... yeah. Sorry, bad past experiences. ^^;
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Spike
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@VitaVitaAR Sure. I've edited it. Is this good?
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by VitaVitaAR
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@HeroicSociopath: Yeah, accepted.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by ThirdHourIII
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Okay I took out the IQ measurement and the AED attachment and instead tied it to his emotions if that's okay. If not I can take out the emotional tie as well. @VitaVitaAR
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