I skimmed over the first page pretty fast, assuming I'm 'sposed to post my sheet here and then add the availability later if the sheet is accepted? Here goes!

EDIT: Here's my availability anyways. Sunday through Saturday, every day of the week. I have a ridiculously erratic week-by-week work schedule, but I can /ALWAYS/ post at least every one to two days, and usually as often as my opponent can post.

[hider=Gonad Yaksplitter]
[img]http://s11.postimg.org/l03xfzbz7/naaad.jpg[/img]

[b][color=9e0b0f]Name:[/color][/b] Gonad Yaksplitter
[b][color=9e0b0f]Title:[/color][/b] The Lord of the Rising Sun
[b][color=9e0b0f]Age: [/color][/b]34
[b][color=9e0b0f]Height: [/color][/b]7'2"
[b][color=9e0b0f]Weight:[/color][/b] 499 pounds
[b][color=9e0b0f]Boxing Reach:[/color][/b] 92"
[b][color=9e0b0f]Shoe Size:[/color][/b] 24
[b][color=9e0b0f]Race:[/color][/b] Human
[b][color=9e0b0f]Eye Color:[/color] [/b]Hazel

[b][color=9e0b0f]Weapons and Equipment-[/color][/b] 

-His body.

-A set of thick six-kilo gilded steel bracers.

-A pair of three-kilo gilded steel gauntlets.

-A pair of two-kilo hide boots reinforced with steel.

-A tough, magical cloak that's impervious to heat and cold. 

[b][color=9e0b0f]Appearance-[/color][/b] Silhouetted against the burning passions of war, a figure stands tall, unmoving. His physique is as definitive as the gory victory with which his gruesome hands secure. Woven into his beard is a tapestry of blood, proclaiming the legendary tales of the countless scars adorning the sacred weapon, known as Gonad. For weapon he is, heated and hammered in the unquenchable fires of battle. 

Pure unadulterated muscle. Lean muscle that ripples under his flesh like the waves of the ocean. He has muscles on his muscles. Feet Muscles. Finger muscles. Gooch muscles. A grisly body resembling tanned granite that might as well have been chiseled by the gods. Bulging veins, thick and course. Tendons like steel cords. Fingers like blunt iron rods. Long, sinewy limbs crafted for naught but the deliverance of phenomenal destruction. His enormous yet supple frame moves with a primal grace, the likes of which are comparable only to the untamed beasts of the wild. 

His body is riddled with the innumerable wounds left by his combative livelihood. There are hundreds upon hundreds. Where the scars do not cover his body, coarse manly hair, thick and strong like steel wool, does.
He boasts a great dark gray beard speckled with the blood and bone flakes of his foes, flowing down his freakishly striated chest in thick, oily waves reminiscent of the River Styx. From it emanates the very stench of death and graverot, every bit as inescapable as his piercing glare. Within his single eye resides an undying flame, sizzling hotter than the arse-winds of Satan himself.

[b][color=9e0b0f]Personality-[/color][/b] What attributes the primal organism known as "Gonad" bears are no different than the attributes of mother nature herself. Blood-tinged Westerlies carving jagged sluices along the tepid surface of a great and mysterious ocean, whose calm demeanor belies a vast and terrible capability. The wisdom of towering snow-capped mountains, whose interminable experience has been honed over countless millennia of wear and tear. The trepid balance between predator and prey, animal and man, intermingling to form a singular amalgamation of virile life. And yet, he maintains a feature apart from nature. Self-awareness. He lives only for pushing the boundaries of human strength and spirit, forcing himself beyond the utmost limit in extreme combat. He fears not death, nor pain, nor loss, for it is from these things that the vigor and strength of true manhood and honor spring. He revels in the pain, luxuriates in death, and basks in loss. He never will engage in dishonorable practices such as deception, and will not tolerate an unfair fight. Though he may oftentimes appear a comical fool, Gonad is truly just a simple man who very rarely premeditates an action, instead acting from the heart and without hesitation, following only the voice of his soul. 

[img]http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/rsroleplay/images/4/41/Ffff.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151031185325[/img]

[b][color=9e0b0f]Abilities/Skills-[/color][/b] Revered by many as the greatest warrior to have ever lived, Gonad boasts tremendous dynamic and static strength and is capable of overpowering virtually any foe near his size. His base strength is roughly equivalent to that of a large grizzly bear, his speed that of Bruce Lee crossed with Usain Bolt. Above all else the strength in his hands is legendary, and so far no foe, living or dead, has succeeded in breaking his grip. He fights through experience and instinct, capable of reacting to attacks through muscle memory before he consciously registers them. He witholds a vast array of rare and lethal wisdom and is said to know of over one-thousand ways to kill with his bare hands. What's more, Gonad is the supreme master of his own body and can control its functions at will. He uses the full potential of his musculatory system, is able to constrict blood vessels to keep from losing fluids, and can transmit senses other than sight through his visual cortex, along with every other kind of mind over body feat possible. Ripley's Believe It or Not type shit. He's even capable of touching and harming incorporeal or transdimensional entities by virtue of being too ignorant to know that he shouldn't.

Gonad can harness the raw energies of manliness itself, a power known as the [color=ed1c24]Beardforce[/color] which only those known as the Beardlords may use. It allows him to scale in physical might that his capabilities may be matched evenly in comparison to those of any foe more powerful than him. The Beardforce lets Gonad dampen or increase his own inertia if an opponent can do the same, increase his mass, heighten his mental and physical faculties, and empower his surroundings with Beardforce. This ability manifests in such a way that accommodates his wrestling moves, I.E, making the ground harder and his weight or falling velocity greater so that a very durable enemy will be grievously harmed by a piledriver, or briefly creating immovable, indestructible platforms of Beardforce in empty space with which to spike an opponent into if there is no ground or floor nearby. He can also use the Beardforce to aid his mobility, using the Beardforce platforms to manouver through air or empty space in leau of the power of flight. This cannot be used to trap or trick, for the Beardforce does not permit sneaky or cowardly tactics. The only time an opponent would need to worry about a Beardforce construct would be when Gonad's about to use a WWE technique, such as a body slam, a suplex, or any other attack that requires a hard surface to be effective. Gonad may also replace his clothing with Beardforce constructs if his power is elevated to a point where steel becomes inconsequential. Despite the supposed versatility of the power, he only ever uses Beardforce bracers for armor. It goes against Gonad's nature to wear excess armaments.

Gonad's power ups are nearly all physical in nature, and as such if an opponent relies heavily upon auxillary abilities, Gonad will be able to easily outmatch them in strength and speed. Think of an armored man with a machine gun facing a naked man wielding only his fists. A good comparison to the Beardforce's application is to think of how physically capable the fistfighter would need to be to stand a perfectly fair chance of beating the armored gunman. Obviously this means that in close range, an enemy who uses powers and technology in addition to martial arts would be at a severe disadvantage in the martial arts category next to Gonad.

Gonad is a one trick pony, a purist. What he lacks in long ranged versatility and multiple complex abilities, he more than makes up for by having all of his strengths accumulated into nothing less than the ultimate form of unarmed martial arts.

Gonad's unarmed strikes are of the highest caliber, and taking into consideration the formidable equalization of the Beardforce, this means no foe in this realm or in any other can easily withstand even one direct hit to a vital point, much like how no human mortal may fairly survive a sword through the torso or a mace to the skull, as Gonad's limbs are surely lethal weapons. The Beardforce is based upon Gonad's perception of an opponent along with the opponent's full latent power, and as such the Beardforce cannot be fooled or bypassed, making it effective against abstract concepts or inanimate objects for so long as Gonad thinks of the thing as a foe or said thing presents a threat. The opposite stands true, however, as Gonad himself wears little armor and will always be equally susceptible to the attacks of any superhuman enemy he faces. Whether it be a normal man with a pickaxe or Superman with a pickaxe, if either buried the point of the weapon in Gonad's skull he would die just the same. If Gonad is facing a group of empowered enemies, his might will be equalized with that of the strongest.

Gonad is a grandmaster of the berserker arts and has an effectively limitless tolerance for pain. He can utilize three different forms of the technique, each one badder than the last. These three forms may be referred to as Semi-Berserk, Full Berserk, and the preeminent Primal State. At his peak, he can generate such strength that his own muscles can tear themselves from his bones. When combined with the ability to create self induced hyposthenia within his body, bringing his muscles to the ultimate point of relaxation, Gonad can then contract them with the greatest amount of force that is physically possible. At the cost of having his very bones shatter from the overwhelming might of his own blows, Gonad can unleash attacks of such immensity that any entity on the receiving end of a direct hit gains an immediate and intimate understanding of what it feels like to be the fetus in a Mexican abortion. In other words, each stage of the berserker increases Gonad's offence at the cost of his defense. His blood flows much faster (hastening blood loss), he becomes considerably more aggressive, and his attacks are just as likely to inflict damage to himself as to the opponent due to the physical strain.

[b][color=9e0b0f]Background-[/color][/b] They say when the Barbarian called Gonad Yaksplitter was born, he came into this world bearing a full and mighty beard and had the equivalent muscles of a shaved adult yak. He was born on the battlefield, his infantile but well defined body gushing forth from the womb of his mother and landing in a puddle of blood that had been pooling from the corpse of a nearby enemy. It was in this way that Gonad had first been christened with the blood of his enemies. His mother, Chukka, had broken both legs in the battle and only she and her newborn son had survived the disastrous conflict. It had been a Barbarian war party, sent out from Gonad's home village which lay fifty-five miles East. 

Chukka was forced to crawl back using her hands and teeth, bearing Gonad on her back. Only by sustaining young Gonad with the meat of her placenta and the warm milk from her breasts was she able to keep him nourished during the arduous trip back. Using the prodigious length of young Gonad's beard, she was able to fashion a makeshift diaper to keep him from soiling her back. After two months, they managed to return to the village, much to the great joy of Chief Jarvi. Upon being shocked at the sight of Gonad's beard-diaper being removed, he promptly named muscular Gonad after his hefty namesake, and renamed their village after the miracle child. For many ages the Village of Gonad has been renowned for its strength, most often migrating around in the deep Wilderness. Gonad's birth was the very culmination of generations of hard-earned might, his destiny pre-determined by the selective breeding of his ancestors. Their intent? To create the ultimate physical human. And so they did.

Since before he could walk, Gonad was made to train in the berserker arts with a relentless fervor that surpassed common sense. Nearly every minute of every hour of every day of his life he endured the most excruciating physical and mental training imaginable, his talent for unarmed combat pushed well beyond the boundaries of reason. He bears as many scars from his training as he does from battle. Gonad has participated in tens of thousands of battles, ranging from one on one bouts to full scale wars, and from his experience has even created his own fighting style, which he dubbed "Hefty Fist". 

As weakness had been beaten out of him at birth, it was not long before he became so well associated with hardship and pain that both feelings became an integral part of his personality. He enjoys agony and difficulty, and carries upon his shoulders the full weight of his village's pride and future. To Gonad, shame and fear are emotions that no longer exist. With adversity drilled into the very core of his being, through unimaginable effort he shaped his mind into an unbreechable iron hull filled with undepletable reserves of determination. Though not by any means distanced from other negative emotions, he still bears them with neither complaint nor angst and has never allowed himself to feel regret.

Gonad now travels the land endlessly, seeking nothing more than worthy opponents to fight. He fights for fighting's sake and for honor, the honor of both himself, and for the honor of those who are unable to defend themselves against the dishonorable. 
He has seen countless wars, killed countless enemies, made countless friends. To recount the barbarian's many adventures would be an exercise in futility, for the blood wrought odyssey of Gonad transcends time and experience.

[b][color=9e0b0f]Trivia-[/color][/b] 

◾Gonad rarely calls people by their actual names, often using their physical appearance to give them a nickname such as Hood Man, Fancy Pants Lady, Pale Man, and Funny Beard. Those who have earned his utmost respect, however, are called by their true name.

◾Gonad's body is so well trained, that with muscle memory he performs isometrics in his sleep. 

◾Gonad is almost entirely incapable of learning and/or doing anything that isn't related to combat, training, hunting, and women, the subjects in which he holds enough virtuistic ability to philosophize about. It took him two weeks to learn how to first use a doorknob, and he still hasn't learned how to read even a single word. He is utterly useless outside of his few areas of expertise.

◾Gonad is ambidextrous

◾Gonad's nose has been broken so many times, that all of the cartilage in it has deteriorated. He can push it completely flat against his face. He also has four false teeth crafted from ivory. 

◾Gonad rarely travels via boat or ship, opting instead to swim across great bodies of water.

[b][color=9e0b0f]Theme Music-[/color][/b]
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDwotNLyz10[/youtube][/hider]