[center][h1][color=lightcoral]𝕃 𝕚 𝕝 𝕚 𝕒 𝕟 𝕟 𝕒   𝔹 𝕣 𝕒 𝕟 𝕕 𝕥[/color][/h1]
[img]http://i67.tinypic.com/2pzxlvr.png[/img][/center]
[hider=Sept. 8, 2020]
[hr][center][color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟠, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /   𝔹𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔹: ℝ𝕠𝕠𝕞 𝟚𝟘𝟘  [/color][/center][hr]
Perhaps it was the violence she had witnessed the day before or merely her stigma acting up but Lily was unable to sleep for too long despite the weariness her body felt. As always, she dreamt of faceless people who pointed and laughed at her in a house that was strangely similar to the one Group 2 destroyed. Among the smashed furniture, more faceless people mulled around, throwing angry words at her, their words eventually transforming into poisonous nagging to hurt and destroy. She tossed and turned in her bed, trying her best to hold on to sleep that was quickly fading away. But as one of the faceless people in her dreams grabbed her wrist, the coldness of the person's hand made her sit up in bed, gasping and covered in sweat. She looked around and sighed in relief when she saw that she was in her room in USARILN East--not that being in the so-called school was comforting, but it was the best she could hope for, at least for now. Sluggishly, she untangled the blanket from her legs. 

Once she was free from the twisted fabric, she laid back down, the weariness almost automatically snapping her eyes closed. In a matter of seconds, she was fast asleep. 

But there was no rest for the weary.

This time around, the faceless people that always permeated her dreams had faces. One looked like Siena, another like Marcus, the one beside him looked like Callan... Lily looked around, a sense of familiarity washing through her. Grant, Angelique, Christmas, Sander, and that girl she met the night before... Sophia. Even though she never introduced herself, Lily's subconscious pulled out her name as though she had known it all this time. 

The strange thing was that, all the familiar faces around her had the same short, messy blonde hair--something Lily didn't notice initially. Her smile was wide as she approached them, for a brief second feeling as though she was where she belonged, that she was among friends.

Not until, the blonde Callan raised a hand and pointed a finger at her.

[i]"Subnatural."[/i]

Followed by the similarly hair styled Marcus. [i]"Traitor. Murderer. You can't hide what you are, monster."[/i]

[color=lightcoral]"Wh-what?"[/color] Lily stammered as she looked at one to the other, her mind finally realizing how strange it was for her classmates to have similarly styled and colored hair. Didn't Callan have aquamarine hair? And Sophia had dark brown? The smile on her face turned into a frown.

The one with Christmas' face stepped forward, a malicious smirk on his lips. [i]"Make them bleed. Show them the real you, you pathetic pretender,"[/i] he spatted out. He was no longer the meek boy who couldn't even look her in the eye. This version of Christmas looked...vicious. Behind him was a tall blonde boy, who at first, she thought was Sander. But when she turned her attention to him, she realized that his face looked both strange and familiar. He looked like... her.

[color=lightcoral]"Sebastian?"[/color] she called out, her subconscious again automatically knowing exactly who he was. But as soon as she said his name, her classmates turned their attention to him. A sense of dread filled Lily as the familiar people one by one closed in on the blonde boy she somehow knew to be her brother. She didn't even have time to react as they descended upon him.

[color=lightcoral]"NO!"[/color] she shouted as she began to run towards the group. But no matter how fast she tried to run, she couldn't seem to close the distance. From where she was, she could see dark red staining Sebastian's hair, blonde Siena's hand similarly stained. Was that blood? Sebastian's?

She heard him scream. And with his voice came her voice, raised in a scream as well. [color=lightcoral]"NO! Sebastian!"[/color]

She sat up on her bed, her heart thumping painfully in her chest as she panted. Glazed, confused eyes looked around, looking for that blonde boy, his face slowly, slowly slipping from her memory. As soon as her eyes focused, she could no longer remember what he looked like and who he was. Only his name remained. [color=lightcoral][i]Sebastian.[/i][/color]

She sat there for the longest moment, the blankets once again tangled around her. She tried to recapture what had happened in the dream and just who Sebastian was. But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't quite grasp it. She could remember people that looked like her classmates attacking Sebastian and the fear she felt. But why was he important? Why was she so scared that he'd be hurt? 

She looked towards the clock that stood on her nightstand. 

4:30 AM

It was way too early and she badly wanted to get more sleep but she was sure that if she closed her eyes, another nightmare would just jolt her awake. She sighed. Even in her waking hours, she could still hear the harsh words that kept on urging her to hurt someone. Slowly, she un-entangled herself from the blanket and stood up. She needed an output, she needed to calm the voices. 

She looked towards her desk and found five yellow and brown boxes stacked on top of each other. [color=lightcoral][i]Strange. Did someone come into my room while I was sleeping--if I can even call that sleeping--or did I completely miss that big stack of boxes last night?[/i][/color] she wondered as she crossed the short distance from her bed to the desk. 

A note was taped to the topmost box. [i]The donuts are a little late. I'm sorry about that. The place I ordered them from was slow to process and deliver. I'm also sorry that the school can't fulfill your other requests. -Rosa.[/i] 

[color=lightcoral]"Oh,"[/color] Lily exclaimed as she opened the box and her eyes fell on the variously flavored donuts, her mood instantly lifting. She counted the boxes. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five boxes of donuts. She peeked into each box, delighted to see that each donut was unique. She grinned. For once, she was glad to be where she was. She picked one up a chocolate glazed one and took a big bite, her peripheral vision catching sight of the unlimited Ground Zero access request form.

[color=lightcoral][i]And here's the answer to calming my stigma,[/i][/color] she thought as she placed the donut between her teeth to free her hands. She grabbed the form and a pen and scribbled on it.

Two donuts and a shower later, she was on her way to the admin office to turn over her form. Once there, she handed the form to a bored looking woman who immediately snapped to attention when her eyes fell on the X mark on the small teen's throat. Lily didn't really mind. Most people were cautious around Aberrations after all. She waited for several minutes for the approval but the woman nervously insisted that she leave, telling her that she would just be informed of the approval later. Lily wanted to insist that she could just wait for it but she noticed the woman gesturing towards a guard. 

Irritation blossomed inside Lily and the voices in her head became louder and more insistent. Her eyes fell on the office supplies scattered around the woman's desk, creative ways to injure forming in her mind. The woman followed her eyes and instinctively gathered the pens, the stapler and even the sticky notes. Lily felt a rifle barrel poke her on the back.

With an annoyed glance at the guard standing behind her, Lily turned and walked away, desperately trying to ignore the voices in her head shouting for her to show the woman and the guard exactly why Aberrations were feared. 
[hr] 
[h3][center][img]http://i67.tinypic.com/2pzxlvr.png[/img] [img]http://i68.tinypic.com/2yorfye.jpg[/img] 
[color=lightcoral]Liliana Brandt[/color] | [color=BD892F]Sophia Lemane[/color][/center][/h3]
[center][I]Collaboration with: [@VampireOracle][/i][/center][hr][center]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟠, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /  𝕃𝕚𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕣𝕪  / /  𝟘𝟡𝟘𝟘[/center][hr]
With no class that day, Sophia had quite a few hours to do whatever she wanted, whatever that would turn out to be. The events from the previous day were still bugging her. Just in the two or so hours that she had been awake so far, she found herself staring often into space doing nothing. Which really wasn't a good thing. She tried not to let herself daydream or spend time sitting around doing nothing, if she could help it. 

She didn't feel like exploring outside of the campus so that she could become some attraction for the "regular" people there, and there wasn't a whole lot to do on campus, nothing that she felt like doing anyway. But if she could find a good book to lose herself in, then at least, she wouldn't be thinking about the same things over and over again while getting nowhere in her speculations. It might be a good idea to see if there were any good books about taking care or training cats that she could use in addition to what could be found online too. 

Entering the library, she began to weave randomly between the shelves to familiarize herself with the place. Even though she loved to read, she hadn't been to the library yet. There was the fiction section for young-adults, the non-fiction section, and there were some DVDs...

As she walked she stopped often to scan the titles, pulling out a book if it caught her eye so that she could read the blurb. A few books found their way into her arms that way, she would look through them later when she found a nice place to sit. But she was only holding on to four books so far (some of them being non-fiction books on cats), so she continued her search for something good to read. A rather random way of finding a book to read, but fun too.

Lily walked and walked around campus for what felt like hours, trying her best to shake off that growing urge to actually give in to the voices and hurt someone. She avoided people in the fear of actually hurting them. She really didn't want to but she was beginning to think that she [i]has[/i] to in order to find peace. She looked up at the building where she had stopped in front of. 

The library. 

Peace and quiet. And more importantly, away from a lot of people. She immediately went to the front door and walked in. 

As soon as she was inside, she scanned the area. Never mind the people. She needed to be away from them and alone until she can access Ground Zero. Once she saw that the farthest table tucked in the corner was free, she made her way into it, grabbing a random book to try and distract her from the vicious words now tumbling in her head.

Done picking out enough books for the time being, Sophia began to look around for somewhere to sit. A place that didn't already have too many people sitting or browsing nearby would be ideal, so she made her way to the edges of the library to look for tables there. A few other people had had the same idea and were occupying a few of the tables as she walked by, so she continued looking. 

Seeing the corner of another table a short distance away in the corner of the library, Sophia picked up her pace and headed towards it. Until she was almost there, she didn't realize that there was already someone sitting there, blocked by the bookshelves. A head of long golden messy hair... she knew that person, didn't she? 

Lily tried to focus on the words. The book she had picked up was actually a book on cats and how to care for them. It was a fairly interesting topic as she used to have a cat back when she was--- She blinked. Was that a memory? She tried to mentally wade through the voices that was preventing her from remembering clearly. She laid the book down and rubbed her eyes irritatedly. Having amnesia and the constant whispering voices in her head was really annoying and it was putting her in a worsening mood. [color=lightcoral][i]Maybe I should just crack my head open again and maybe that would bring back my memories,[/i][/color] she thought as she rubbed a little harder, making her eyes tear up a little. When she was finished, she opened her eyes and glared at the open book. [color=lightcoral]"It's probably a lot better if I was a cat. I'd laze around and sleep all day,[/color] she said to an illustrated orange tabby curled sleeping in a basket in the book. Looking at it made her inadvertently yawn.

Sophia had been debating whether or not to say hello. It would be polite, especially after she had accidentally ignored the girl yesterday. But then, would she be interrupting? As Sophia watched the girl rub her eyes and then talk to herself, she felt like she was spying. She hadn't been noticed yet. [color=BD892F][i]I guess I can just say hi, and if she wants to be left alone, I can leave?[/i][/color]

Clearing her throat softly as a nervous hand clutched the books tighter, she took a few steps forward so she was by the table. [color=BD892F]"Hey,"[/color] she began, before stopping abruptly as she realized she couldn't remember the girl's name. [color=BD892F]"uh, hello."[/color] A pause as she grasped for something else to say. [color=BD892F]"We met yesterday, right?"[/color]

Lily looked up at the sound of the voice. For a few seconds, she stared at the girl, having a difficult time remembering if she knew her thanks to the chaotic voices in her head. [color=lightcoral]"Yesterday,"[/color] she repeated and furrowed her brow. [color=lightcoral]"Yesterday,"[/color] she repeated again after a few seconds, slowly remembering the commotion that happened after the flag football. [color=lightcoral]"Oh, right. I bumped into you,"[/color] a look of recognition replaced the confused look on the small blonde's face. [color=lightcoral]"Sorry about that. I really didn't mean to,"[/color] she apologized, not really remembering if she did the night before. 

The girl's staring made Sophia nervous. Had she made a mistake? Maybe there was someone else almost identical to the girl from yesterday, and Sophia had mixed the two up. She couldn't help but let out a small sigh of relief, barely audible, when the girl seemed to remember at last. But then the girl began to apologize, causing her to bite her lip. Apologies were always awkward things, and she didn't like them. Didn't like receiving them, and often didn't like giving them. 

She hurried to reassure the girl, just like she had done the previous night. [color=BD892F]"No, you don't need to apologize again. It was such a... little thing."[/color] Shifting the books that she held, she wondered if it would be rude to put them down. They were getting heavier. Looking from the books in her arms towards the table, she shifted them again. [color=BD892F]"You mind if I..."[/color]

[color=lightcoral][i]Again... Oh, so I did apologize. Good,[/i][/color] Lily thought, once again mentally cursing both her poor memory and her stigma. [color=lightcoral]"I'm not sure if I apologized so I guess I had to say it again,"[/color] she shrugged and then looked at the books the girl was holding. There really was no sense asking for permission to put the books on the table that wasn't hers but she gave it anyway. [color=lightcoral]"Go ahead,"[/color] she said. She wasn't feeling particularly friendly and the voices were already whispering about making the girl her target but she felt the need to at least formally introduce herself. She couldn't really remember if she had already. [color=lightcoral]"Did you tell me your name last night too?"[/color] she decided to ask instead.

The girl hadn't been sure if she had apologized already? But then, lots of things had happened yesterday. She put her books down, and then took the extra step to take a seat so she wasn't looking down on the girl as she spoke. The girl's next question confused Sophia even more than the repeated apology. Did the girl really not remember? Hiding her surprise, she gathered more words together so she could introduce herself. Perhaps the girl's question was a polite way of reminding Sophia that she didn't know her name, but would like to be introduced. 

[color=BD892F]"Oh, no. I didn't."[/color] She clasped her hands tightly beneath the table as she chose the way she would introduce herself from the many sentences floating through her head. Each sentence varied slightly from the next, in ways that would matter only to Sophia. [color=BD892F]"My... my name's Sophia."[/color] Oops. She forgot to add her last name. Hurriedly, she added on, [color=BD892F]"Lemane. Sophia Lemane."[/color] That was not how she had meant to introduce herself. Lowering her gaze to the table before her, she whispered, [color=BD892F]"What's yours?"[/color]

Lily noticed how Sophia lowered her gaze when she asked for her name. Was she shy? [color=lightcoral]"Lilianna Brandt. Lily for short,"[/color] she replied, a little surprised that holding a conversation with someone was actually tempering the voices a little. Maybe if she talked a little more... [color=lightcoral]"There's really no need to be shy around me. Say what you want. If you say something embarrassing, chances are I won't remember it to actually tell somebody about it,"[/color] she pointed to her head. [color=lightcoral]"I suppose having it cracked open gave me amnesia and maybe short term memory loss too. Sometimes I have trouble remembering things that are fairly recent. That's why I had to ask if you told me your name last night,"[/color] she explained and then pointed to the X mark on her throat next. [color=lightcoral]"That and the...uhm...stuff that comes with this."[/color] She didn't really wanna admit that she hears voices in her head. Saying it would probably brand her as crazy. Maybe she [i]was[/i] crazy but saying it out loud would probably make her potential friend run from her.

Lilianna. Lily. Such a pretty name. Sophia lifted her gaze from the table curiously as Lily began to talk about how Sophia needn't be shy around her. Of course. It was quite obvious that she was shy, wasn't it? She began to nod to show that she understood, when Lily caught her off guard by beginning to talk about her memory. Amnesia... short term memory loss... and then something related to being an Aberration. Things seemed to click together so they made more sense now. That was why it had taken Lily so long to remember who she was. 

Sophia didn't quite know what her reaction should be to this abruptly revealed information. Her eyebrows drew together as pity flashed across her face for a few seconds before Sophia pushed it down. Not many people liked to be pitied for their weaknesses, she knew she didn't. It took her a minute of thought as her gaze drifted around the room before she decided to respond as normally as possible. [color=BD892F]"You shouldn't worry, I don't mind...,"[/color] Was this what she should really be saying at this time? Reassure Lily? Sophia suddenly wondered how many people knew about Lily's issue remembering things, was this something she should keep to herself? Knowing that someone had an issue made her want to help in whatever way she could, but would it be rude to let Lily know that she would be "there" if Lily ever needed any help?

Realizing that she never finished her sentence, Sophia reddened slightly. [color=BD892F]"I don't mind needing to... repeat things."[/color] Now should she ask Lily the questions that were filling her head? [color=BD892F][i]She said she might not remember.[/i][/color] A small relief that came with guilt. First of all, it was only a maybe. Lily might end up remembering after all. And second, why should she be relived that she might not need to live up to what she said and did with Lily? [color=BD892F]"I, uh, is this..."[/color] Her hands under the table gripped each other even tighter. [color=BD892F]"Sorry. You don't have to answer, but," [i]Just spit it out![/i] "Is this something I should keep to myself? And... if you ever want someone to listen, I can also... be there."[/color] She finished hurriedly before burying her face in her hands. [color=BD892F][i]You did that horribly.[/i]

"I'm sorry."[/color]
 
As Lily stared at Sophia, she caught that brief flash of pity across her face. It didn't really bother her as she received similar looks when she had first opened her eyes in the hospital. She wasn't particularly sure if the pitying looks she got was because she had amnesia or because she was an X. She always expected the latter as she had once overheard a guard whispering to another about how sad Aberrations were since all were unstable and crazy. But when Sophia said that she didn't mind repeating things, she figured that she pitied her because of her memory loss. And she blinked at her next words. Was the girl actually offering to be her friend? 

Despite her mood, a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. 

[color=lightcoral]"Firstly, no, it's not something you should keep to yourself. I think most people know about it anyway. I have Amnesia and Bipolar Disorder. I didn't really want to let anyone know before but..."[/color] she shrugged. [color=lightcoral]"...you can't really keep secrets in this place. And secondly, are you, by any chance, asking to be my friend?"[/color] The blonde had a habit of asking direct questions even though the answer might not the the one she wanted to hear. 

[i]Who would want to be friends with you?[/i] A voice in her head whispered.

[color=lightcoral][i]Oh, shut up. She might want to be, you know.[/i][/color]

[i]She's only good when she's screaming in pain.[/i]

[color=lightcoral][i]Shut up.[/i][/color]

Despite Lily's positive outlook on Sophia's possible answer and her brave retort to the voices in her head, there was a grain of truth in what it said. Who would want to be friends with a broken girl like her? A girl without a memory and with unpredictable mood swings. It was actually why she didn't take too much effort to try and befriend people. Why should she start now? The small smile on her lips disappeared.

Friend. Was that what Sophia had been proposing? She didn't know. She had been offering up an ear if Lily ever needed to know that someone else knew what she was going through, because that was what Sophia was good at. Listening, but barely saying anything. Being the statue that someone could rant to until they had gotten what was bothering them out of their system. Friends were not for people like her, not when she could barely speak a sentence without trailing off at least once or second guessing herself. 

She hadn't had a friend for years. They came with responsibility. You needed to talk to friends and spend time with them. [i]You needed to talk to them.[/i] Having friends stressed her out, hence why all her friendships had always fallen apart. How did one have friends when simply greeting their parents in the morning or answering simple questions gave them such anxiety? 

[color=BD892F][i]You become friends with Lily, and then what? You're going to let her down when she finds out that you're some mute.[/i][/color]

[color=bd892f][i]But I'm sure she could use a friend, or another one if she already has some. Everyone likes to have friends, right? Even I would, if I would be able to get past my talking problem. I just don't think I'm the friend she needs. Maybe I can be her friend until she finds someone better?[/i][/color]

She took a deep breath. Removing her hands from her face but still staring down at the table, she opened her mouth. To her dismay, she couldn't begin talking. [color=BD892F][i]Not again. Please. Not now.[/i][/color] Frustration welled up, threatening to overflow in the form of tears that she had to blink back. She needed to confirm that she wanted to be Lily's friend. She wanted to become her friend so she could help if Lily ever needed someone to be there... so she could help. But her stupid mind wouldn't let her. Her fingers itched for a pencil and sheet of paper, where was that journal she used to carry around with her? If only she could write it, things would be so much easier.

[color=BD892F][i]Hesitate too long and you show reluctance. Just nod first. Do it.[/i][/color] Sophia nodded. [color=BD892F][i]Now confirm with words.[/i] 

"I want to be your friend."[/color] Wispy words that could easily been carried off by a breeze, but there all the same. But she wasn't done. There was something else she needed to get out, and unlike the other words, this one burst from her as she lifted her gaze to try and look Lily in the eye. [color=BD892F]"But I don't know if I make a good friend."[/color]

A look of confusion came over Lily's face as she waited for Sophia to answer. Was she trying to think of the best way to say no?

[i]Of course she is,[/i] the voice in her head laughed and as it did, Lily's mood darkened.

[color=lightcoral][i]Yes, who would want to be friends with me?[/i][/color] she agreed. Suddenly, the library wasn't such a good place to be in. Maybe hanging out in the Arboretum would be a better idea. She was just about to say something to excuse herself when she saw Sophia nod. And the words that followed the nod made her stay in her chair. Thoughtful golden eyes stared at the brown haired girl. [color=lightcoral]"Y-you want to be my friend?"[/color] she asked in disbelief. Even the voices in her head seemed surprised that they stopped talking. A slow smile again spread across her lips. [color=lightcoral]"Really?"[/color] she asked. [color=lightcoral]"That's awesome..."[/color] she added in an awed, small voice. [color=lightcoral]"Oh, I'm sure you'll be a nice friend..."[/color] she assured and then trailed off.

[color=lightcoral][i]Wait. Does this mean that I have to spend most of my time with her? Does this mean that we have to talk every single day?[/i][/color] She realized that she had no idea what a friendship entailed and without a past to look back on, she came up with a blank. She reached up and scratched the back of her head. [color=lightcoral]"I'm...uh... not sure if I'll be a good friend either."[/color]

So Sophia wasn't the only one unsure about this new friendship. Now what was she to say? [i]'Don't worry, we can be bad friends together?'[/i] or [i]'I'm sure you'll be a good friend'[/i], when she wasn't sure? Lily had been pretty honest and open about herself. Maybe she would try to be as honest as she could too. [color=BD892F]"Well, I never really had a lot of... friends. So I think we're both kind of... new? To this?"[/color] She hesitated for a few seconds before continuing. [color=BD892F]"But maybe we can figure out how it all works...,"[/color] another trailed off sentence as she tried to decide whether to use a particular word, [color=BD892F]"uh, together?"[/color] Was it right to use that word? Did that make it sound too... she didn't know... sappy? And why was she posing all of her sentences as questions again? Eyes on Lily, she waited for her reaction.

[color=lightcoral]"Together..."[/color] Lily trailed off, the word unfamiliar to her. Or maybe it was, she didn't really know. [color=lightcoral]"...sounds really nice. I think I'd like that,"[/color] she gave the girl opposite her a genuine smile. 

Good to know that Sophia hadn't messed anything up horribly, at least yet. [color=BD892F]"Is it okay if we give each other our room numbers? So we can find each other if... like... you know. If we want to see each other?"[/color] Would Lily forget the number if she just told her? Or maybe she should just have more confidence in her ability to remember things. She didn't have any paper with her anyway. Unconsciously, her voice lowered as she told Lily where her room was, a little nervous about giving her "address" out. [color=BD892F]"Mine's in Building A, suite number 226."[/color]

Lily nodded and turned to the book she had been trying to read earlier. She didn't have pen and paper with her so she did the next best thing she could think of to remember the number Sophia gave her. She paged through the book and stopped at page 226. She reached out and made a small fold at the corner of the page. [color=lightcoral]"There. That should prevent me from forgetting the number until I can write it down. Mine's in Building B, room 200."[/color] She paused and then blinked. [color=lightcoral]"You can come by anytime to visit but...my room is small and uhm...not that neat."[/color]

The method that Lily used was quite smart, and Sophia was reassured that Lily wouldn't be forgetting her room number. Which was, she supposed, a good thing. Maybe being with Lily would eventually help Sophia to speak more, even though she knew that there would probably be much anxiety before that. She would just have to see. [color=BD892F]That's okay,"[/color] she smiled tentatively, [color=BD892F]"I'll try my best to come when I can... and you can always come to mine."[/color] She'd try her best, yes.

The golden haired girl nodded happily, gathered the book and stood up. [color=lightcoral]"Okay, I'll see you around then,"[/color] she said and then skipped off, temporarily forgetting her troubles because of the high being able to make her first friend gave her.

But the moment Lily stepped out of the Library, the voices were back and her mood plummeted back down. Realizing that the only real place she could go to where she would not worry about encountering anyone was her room. And so she made her way back, grabbed food from the cafeteria and locked herself into Room 200 waiting for her approval to use Ground Zero.
[/hider]
[hider=Sept. 9, 2020]
[hr][center][color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟡, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /   𝔾𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 ℤ𝕖𝕣𝕠/ℂ𝕒𝕞𝕡𝕦𝕤  [/color][/center][hr]
Lily woke up at 4AM the next day in a worst mood than the day before. Without being able to sate her stigma, the nightmares had kicked up a notch, with more blood and gore, with pained screams and with looks of betrayal. She dreamt of her classmates all with the same strange short messy blonde hair as they did in her dream the night before. She dreamt of herself killing each and everyone of them, laughing as she did. She heard their screams and she saw the looks of betrayal in their eyes. But she didn't care. All that mattered was hurting them, preventing them from ever saying bad things about her and from hurting Sebastian. As each person laid broken in their own pool of blood, she managed to grab the tall blonde boy's hand and pull him to safety. She ran and ran until she was satisfied that they were both safe. But only to see that the boy whose hand she was holding was not Sebastian's but was actually Sander's. She dropped his hand and demanded to know where Sebastian was but Sander merely grinned, showcasing teeth that were stained red with blood. She woke up just as he lunged at her. 

She wanted to go back to sleep, her tired body yearning for rest that was fleeting. But she knew that it was impossible. No matter how tired she was, the nightmares would keep on coming. And so while she felt utterly spent with just a few hours of sleep in two days, she dragged herself up, gathered a new set of clothes and trudged towards the common bathroom. 

At least she had the bathroom to herself and at least there was warm water. It helped in easing the tension from her muscles.

And then, donuts when she got back to her room.

She wondered just when she would be granted that access to Ground Zero. Did that lady in the admin office purposely delay it? Did she want her to slowly combust from the stress of having the voices shout at her to hurt someone? Did she want her to go crazy? She bit into her donut savagely, contemplating on locking herself in her room the whole day or... maybe going out to visit Lawrence. She perked up at that thought. Being around him made her feel at peace... or at least the voices in her head calmed down significantly when she was around him.

But then again, going to find him would mean encountering people. She had waited too long to do something about the voices and now it was too late to find alternatives. She was afraid that if she encountered someone, she'd lose it and just throw herself at the person. She had to get to Ground Zero and fast. But there was no going there without permission. She peered at her ankle cuff. No. She really didn't want to be tazed for doing something not sanctioned.

Hoping to get her permission soon, she spent the next few hours trying to drown out the voices. She played loud music on an old fashioned stereo that was in the room when she was assigned to it. She tried doodling stuff--it wasn't a good idea because she ended up doodling words the voices whispered in her head--and reading the book she had borrowed from the library. She tried folding paper cranes--she actually completed one and added it to her growing collection she had yet to hang up--but that didn't help. She tried doing headstands. She tried banging her head on the wall. [i]Nothing[/i] helped at all. 

In the end, she just concentrated on her donuts and ended up eating through a whole box and then staring at the cellphone she kept in the drawer of her desk. The doctors that had taken care of her when she was first taken into USARILN East said that it was the only thing she had with her when they found her. The screen was cracked but it looked to be working still. One of the nurses was nice enough to give her a charger for it too. But ever since she woke up, she never tried turning it on. Should she? Maybe if she did, she'd finally be able to find out a bit about her past. 

Slowly, she reached for it.

And then jumped when she heard a loud knock on her door, the voices egging her on again.

Her head snapped towards the door as her hand reflexively closing around the small X-ACTO she used for her paper crafts (The psychologist that examined her the day they released her from the hospital said that doing origami was a relaxing hobby.) This definitely wasn't a good time for anyone to come and see her. Origami had failed to relax her and the voices in her head were deafening. Slowly, she stood up, looking at the door as if it was some sort of vicious animal that would attack her. There was another knock, louder this time. Lily cringed and gripped the small blade tighter.

[color=f7976a]"Request for access to Ground Zero granted,"[/color] the voice of a guard from outside the door called out.

It took a few seconds for the words to sink in. But as soon as it did, Lily threw aside her X-ACTO and immediately headed out. As soon as the door closed behind her, she took off, passing by and surprising the guard that had brought her the news. She ran all the way to Ground Zero as fast as her short legs could carry her.

As soon as she got there, she took a few minutes to catch her breath and then began scouring the copy of a ruined city like a predator looking for a kill. As soon as she saw a small group of people, she stopped. They weren't really live people, were they? It was okay to use her powers on them, right? 

She was still contemplating on the ethics of harming copies of people that were probably long dead when the child in the group tripped and opened a small gash on his knee. He began crying, the sound grating on Lily's nerves. There was no space in her head to think now. 

[I]Do it.[/i]

[i]DO IT![/I]

The voices were chanting, there was no need to think anymore. The black thread appeared on her wrist, the other end wrapping itself around the boy's wrist. Instantly, the wound on his knee healed, transferring itself onto Lily's knee. She cringed at the small pain. [color=lightcoral]"Always the knee,"[/color] she commented wryly just as the thread that connected her to the boy dissipated. The group of adults that was helping the boy stand up looked confused at how the wound miraculously healed. One of them looked towards Lily but before he could say or do anything, the black thread reappeared on Lily's wrist, connecting with his. 

Lily completely gave in to the voices of her stigma and with just one thought, there was a shower of blood as her target lost his leg, completely severed from the knee as the small blonde mage transferred her injury and magnified it. Lily reveled at the screams of pain and the panicked voices of the people standing near the man. The boy began bawling in fear.

But the man wasn't going to be the only one to bleed in the strange city.

One by one they fell as Lily began cutting herself with a piece of sharp rock she picked up from the ground. A cut on the wrist severed a hand. A cut on the shoulder hacked off an arm. The louder the screams of pain, the quieter the voices in her head became until eventually, after injuring more than a dozen people, the last of the voices finally fell silent.

Lily, splashed with blood, stared at her handiwork, her golden eyes manic and unfocused. But as the reality of what she did dawn on her, a horrified look came over her face at she saw just how much pain and suffering she had caused. [color=lightcoral][i]They're not real people, they're not real people,[/i][/color] she chanted in her head, her mental voice audible now that the voices were gone. She looked down at a dying woman by her feet, a large gash on the side of the neck was spurting blood. [color=lightcoral]"Y-you're not a real person,"[/color] she told her while the woman stared pleadingly at her, her mouth gaping open as she gasped for breath. 

[color=lightcoral][i]She can't be,[/i][/color] she thought to herself even as she sank to the ground and reached out to press her hands on the woman's neck wound, trying to apply pressure to stop the bleeding. It was both ironic and disturbing for her to try to help someone she had inflicted the injury on. The woman gripped her arm for a moment before the light left her eyes. Her hand fell away from Lily's arm and the teenager slowly lifted her eyes. The pavement was soaked red with the blood and littered with the bodies of her victims, some still alive but most had already bled to death. Her hands shook as she lifted it away from the woman's neck. She looked at the bloody hand print on her arm. [color=lightcoral][i]What have I done?[/i][/color]

She stood up shakily and backed away from the scene. She stumbled over a dead body with a deep gash on the side of its torso. With a whimper, she turned and ran into one of the empty houses. 

[color=lightcoral][i]I'm a monster,[/i][/color] she thought as she sank down to the floor in the corner of what appeared to be a living room with an upturned sofa and other furniture strewn around. [color=lightcoral][i]I-It's probably why I had a head wound when they found me. Someone tried to kill me. To stop me from doing what I just did.[/i][/color] Tears began falling down her cheeks as she hugged her knees to her chest, her small body shaking. [color=lightcoral][i]I'm not a healer. I'm a killer.[/i][/color] She rocked back and forth.

For hours she cried her eyes out, the voices might have finally fell silent but her thoughts were now filled with the carnage she had left outside. Why was she here? Why did they allow her to do what she did? 

There were so many question but several days of sleepless nights caught up with her and her body finally gave in. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep, curled into a tight, small ball on the ground.

She woke up half an hour after noon with her stomach grumbling but feeling a little more rested than when she had woken up that morning. She blinked the sleep out of her eyes as she looked around, initially disoriented about where she was and then horrified when the events that had unfolded just a few hours ago all came crashing back. She stood up, shaky on her legs as she frantically searched for another way out of the house. She didn't want to pass through the blood bath she had created, she didn't want to see the people she had killed in cold blood. She didn't want to have to press her hand to a wound again in a useless attempt to help. Why didn't she heal those she hurt?

[color=lightcoral][i]Because I don't want to be hurt. Because I just want the voices to stop. Because I'm a monster.[/i][/color]

She cried out in relief when she found a back exit and hastily made her escape.

Just as she did earlier on her way to Ground Zero, she ran all the way back, heading straight to her room. And in a few minutes, she had showered and changed into clean clothes, creating for herself an illusion that nothing happened. Silently, she headed to the cafeteria, ignoring people she passed by and keeping to herself. 

The hours ticked by and she soon found herself in the mandatory training scheduled for the day. Still repeating to herself that the people in the reanimated ruined city weren't real people, she went through the motions expected from her. She ran when she was told to run and jumped when she was told to jump. She didn't complain when guards grabbed her and kept silent as she and Christmas were led to the second floor of the Administrative Building. To people who had witnessed the argument that had transpired between the two healers after the flag football, they would have assumed that it was why Lily was silent. But it wasn't the case. She was still trying to justify what she had done earlier. And by the time Rosa was finished evaluating her, she had convinced herself that it was the best thing she could do. Hurt the fake people in Ground Zero to keep herself from hurting [i]real[/i] people. 

[color=lightcoral][i]That's okay, right? That's better, right?[/i][/color] But no matter how many times she asked in her head, there was no one in there to agree.
[/hider] 
[hider=Sept. 10, 2020]
[hr][center][color=silver]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟙𝟘, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /   𝔹𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔸, ℝ𝕠𝕠𝕞 𝟚𝟘𝟘  / /  𝟙𝟘𝟛𝟘  [/color][/center][hr]
Lily fell asleep early the previous night and woke up refreshed and relaxed. It was the first time in weeks that she had a good night's sleep without any nightmares. She smiled and stretched and wished every morning was like this. With vigor, she sat up, willing herself to be cheerful and pushing thoughts of what she did out of her head. The city would have gone through a reset, after all. The people there would be good as new, without any recollection of the pain and horror she had subjected them to. 

[color=lightcoral][i]Just enjoy the peace and silence. Enjoy the rest. Don't overthink,[/i][/color] she reminded herself and she went on doing her usual morning routine, feeling a bit more cheerful after her shower and after eating donuts. She looked at her desk and found an list of electives there with an attached instruction to turn it in during Wednesday or Friday class. Just like the donuts, she wondered just when the form was delivered to her room. And then she shrugged. It really didn't matter when the form was delivered and how it got there. The important thing was to turn it in the next day.

[color=lightcoral]"Hmmm..."[/color] she bit the end of her pencil as she thought of what electives she wanted as priority. As she read through the list, she realized that she had no real priorities and so she scribbled the numbers randomly.

Art/Photography - 4
Creative Writing - 1
Woodworking - 6
P.E. - 8
Film Study - 7
Music Theory - 3
Home Ec - 2
Computer Science - 5

When she was done, she made sure to lay the paper on top of the donut boxes so that she won't forget to turn it in the next day. She was about to turn away when she decided to take another donut. As she lifted the lid of the box, her eyes fell on one of the donuts designed with blood red frosting. She stared at it and began shaking, all that she did the day before filling her head. She closed the lid of the box and backed herself into a corner, her small frame trembling as she sank down to the floor just as she did in the living room of that abandoned house in Ground Zero.

[color=lightcoral]"They're not real people. Not real people. It's better to hurt them than to hurt my classmates and other real people. They're not real people,"[/color] she repeated over and over until she calmed herself down. As soon as she was calm enough, she stood up and without thinking, walked out the door and headed towards the Arbiter's dorm.

[h3][center][img]http://i67.tinypic.com/2pzxlvr.png[/img] [img]http://i68.tinypic.com/2yorfye.jpg[/img] 
[color=lightcoral]Liliana Brandt[/color] | [color=BD892F]Sophia Lemane[/color][/center][/h3]
[center][I]Collaboration with: [@VampireOracle][/i][/center][hr][center]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟙𝟘, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /  𝔹𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔸, 𝕊𝕦𝕚𝕥𝕖 𝟚𝟚𝟞  / /  𝟙𝟙𝟘𝟘[/center][hr]
[color=lightcoral][i]It's okay, right? What I did? Better than hurting real people, right?[/i][/color] The questions kept repeating over and over in her head as she stopped in front of the door with the number 226 on it. Her hand automatically knocked. [color=lightcoral][i]It's okay, it's okay,[/i][/color] she chanted in her head, trying to keep it together.

The sound of someone knocking caught Sophia by surprise. Getting up from where she had been sitting on the floor grooming Heidi, she headed to open it as she tried to figure out who it might be. No one really knew that this was her room, save for Lily and the guards. Opening the door a crack first, she let out a soft [color=BD892F]"Oh!"[/color] upon seeing Lily standing there. Letting the door swing fully open, she stepped back so Lily could come in. [color=BD892F]"Hi, Lily,"[/color] was all she said, still surprised at the sudden appearance of her new friend. She had said that Lily could come if she wanted, and well, now here she was.

The moment the door opened and Sophia greeted her, Lily's body began trembling again. [color=lightcoral]"I-It's okay, right?"[/color] she asked, her voice desperate for a confirmation and her eyes welling up with unshed tears. [color=lightcoral]"I-I didn't hurt anyone... anyone real. B-but there was so m-much blood, their screams were so l-loud..."[/color] Golden eyes looked up at the taller girl. [color=lightcoral]"Y-you'll hate me, you'll hate me. I'm a m-monster."[/color]

On second glance, it seemed that Lily was not okay. She was actually, trembling? And apart from Lily's first sentence, the rest made no sense to her. But at least to Sophia the first sentence had made sense, so she started with that. Lily was making sure it was okay that she had come to Sophia's room, right? [color=BD892F]"Yeah,"[/color] she began slowly, [color=BD892F]"I told you you could come... didn't I?"[/color] She wasn't about to push the girl away just because the visit had been a surprise. Reaching out to try and take Lily's hand, she tried to draw the girl inside while she spoke. [color=BD892F]"Come in, and,"[/color] here she faltered slightly. What had happened to make her so frightened and, well, seemingly more vulnerable? [color=BD892F]"Tell me about it,"[/color] she said gently.

Sophia's touch made the blonde girl jump but Lily didn't pull her hand away and let herself be led inside. [color=lightcoral]"I-I didn't mean to... I didn't want to... N-no, I needed to... I wanted to..."[/color] she began rambling, her eyes unfocused as she struggled with the inner conflict her actions the day before brought. She rocked slightly on her heels, the instability of her mind showing a little through her actions and the words that continuously spilled from her mouth. [color=lightcoral]"I-I'm supposed to be a healer... but... but I-I'm not. I'm a monster... and...and...I might end up hurting e-everyone."[/color] 

After her last statement, she froze and stared into space--a broken Aberration. She stood there for what seemed like forever before she took a deep breath and then sighed. Her strange golden eyes slowly focused again and stared thoughtfully at Sophia. [color=lightcoral]"I'm sorry... I...didn't tell you how my powers worked, did I?'[/color] she asked, her voice still trembling but she was visibly calmer than earlier.

She didn't know what to make of all this. As Lily rambled Sophia listened, trying to read into the distraught girl's words as much as she could. Trying to draw into her little knowledge of Lily to see what might have caused this, the corners of her mouth turned down as she thought. [color=BD892F][i]She said that she's Bipolar. Could that be part of it? Being an Aberration probably has some significance here... she said she didn't hurt real people... something about screams.[/i][/color] 

What could she do to make Lily feel better? It seemed that all she could do was watch as the girl rocked back and forth, seeming to talk not to Sophia, but to the air around her. She simply waited and thought until Lily seemed to calm down a bit and offer some explanation. Sophia wanted to know more about Lily and what was bothering her, but perhaps rushing the girl wouldn't be good. [color=BD892F]"Why don't you sit down first, take a few deep breaths until you feel more ready? You don't need to tell me about your powers if you don't want to, no need to say sorry."[/color] It seemed that Sophia no longer felt as shy around Lily, becoming a little more assertive than she normally would be. [color=BD892F]"Take your time."[/color]

Would explaining to her new friend why she was convinced that she was a monster help? Would it erase the horrified looks of the people in Ground Zero from her mind? Would it make everything better? Would she still be her friend after telling her? As if on autopilot, Lily made her way to the couch and sank down on it. [color=lightcoral]"Would you... would you still be my friend if I told you what I did?"[/color]

Coming to sit by Lily, Sophia knew that there could only be one answer to her question. Saying no might cause Lily to become even more upset, and that was not what she wanted. No matter what Lily had done, Sophia would still need to act as unbothered by it as possible. What could Lily have done? The girl didn't seem like the violent type, but then, she barely knew her, [color=BD892F][i]and she's an Aberration.[/i][/color] The info on the Death and Taxes chat had not nearly given her enough information, but she had learned a few new things about the X marked subnaturals, or mages. 

She knew now that Arbiters and Aberrations were very different in a way that Sophia might not ever understand fully. But she wanted to understand, she [i]really[/i] wanted to. Sophia tried to sound as reassuring as she could. [color=BD892F]"Don't worry, I'll still be your friend."[/color]

Lily paused for the longest moment before she sighed in a defeated manner. She gave Sophia a looked that said that she would understand if she didn't wanna be friends after what she was gonna say. [color=lightcoral]"I heal by taking others people's injuries and transferring them to myself. And then I can transfer those injuries I took to another person... but... not just simply transfer them..."[/color] a pained look crossed her face. [color=lightcoral]"I can magnify the injuries I give out."[/color] Her first victim in Ground Zero flashed through her mind. That horrified look followed by a terror-filled scream of pain. The shower of blood. The severed limb. [color=lightcoral]"I could cut off a limb just by magnifying a simple, shallow gash on the knee..."[/color] There was no turning back now. [color=lightcoral]"I did that...and more... to those people in Ground Zero."[/color] she said, her bright eyes filling with tears of guilt. [color=lightcoral]"But they're not real people. Just like that city. It's not real. They're not real."[/color] The words were becoming a mantra. 

The first sentence of Lily's explanation of her power had Sophia shaking her head slightly. A painful way of healing. She was not prepared for the next parts. Transferring and magnifying injuries. A deadly version of healing for an Aberration. Magnifying a smaller wound till it grew to cut off the entire limb. She couldn't help but feel... how was she feeling? Scared? Horrified? Sad? The person before her had hurt and wounded, and maybe even [i]killed[/i] people in Ground Zero. Sophia stared at Lily as she imagined what the girl was capable of. Powerful. Dangerous. If Lily lost her temper and someone nearby happened to have a small injury... she could only imagine what could happen. 

Then the more forgiving, more rational part of her brain kicked in. Lily, from what Sophia could understand, had something called a Stigma. "Doing something" was supposed to help get rid of it, right? So then Lily had taken the steps to get rid of this Stigma, by going to Ground Zero. [color=BD892F][i]The people there aren't real. All that Lily did was to things that weren't even real. The people weren't real.[/i][/color] Just like Lily, Sophia repeated the words in her head, reassuring herself. Hurting unreal people was better than hurting real people. 

And then Lily shifted from a terrified, admitting-my-faults mood to a listless defeated one. [color=lightcoral]"I should be chained and caged for doing awful stuff to those people. Even if they're not real. No one should go through what I put them through..."[/color] she sighed and avoided looking at her friend. [color=lightcoral]"I'm sorry, Sophia. I just had to talk to someone and since Sebastian isn't here---"[/color] she stopped abruptly, a wondering, confused look on her face. [color=lightcoral][i]Sebastian? Why bring him up now?[/i][/color] she asked herself. Who was he? She blinked and then laughed in a sarcastic manner. [color=lightcoral]"And I don't even have a clue who Sebastian is and why I brought him up."[/color] She sighed again, a little deeper this time. [color=lightcoral]"You think I should maybe turn myself over to the people in charge here? Tell them to put me away so that I don't end up hurting anyone? Christmas is a more suitable healer. With him here, no one would need me,"[/color] she suggested.

What Lily was saying about herself was wrong. The way that Lily healed was... shocking, but it wasn't her fault. None of them had [i]chosen[/i] to become mages. Chained and caged, she shouldn't put herself down like that. The part about Sebastian was strange, had some subconsious part of Lily brought him up even though she had amnesia? She really should read up on amnesia and how it worked. And then, off Lily was again talking about having herself locked away. [color=BD892F]"No. Lily, please don't talk like that. Maybe the stuff you did was awful, but you said it yourself. [i]They aren't real.[/i] I think that still counts for something. Look, you made a choice. Either hurt things that are only like more advanced versions of holograms, or march up to one of the [i]real[/i] people here and... and hurt them. You chose to go to Ground Zero."[/color]

She turned on the couch so she was facing towards Lily. [color=BD892F]"I'm not saying you should be happy that you had to do that, but in my opinion, you have to choose one or the other, and I think you chose the right one. I'm sure that there are ways that you can be helpful."[/color]

At Sophia's words, Lily lifted her eyes to her again. [color=lightcoral]"I chose the right one?"[/color] she asked, her mind wrapping itself around the words that were her salvation. [color=lightcoral][i]Better to hurt the fake people than the real ones. Yes. I did choose the right one, didn't I?[/i][/color] The weight she had been carrying on her shoulders ever since she fled Ground Zero seemed to lighten up a bit. [color=lightcoral]"And helpful?"[/color] she asked again, this time remembering how she fought in the first real battle she was in, how she was able to bring down monsters and how she fainted from taking too much injuries from her classmates to heal them. Christmas' blood on her lips, Angelique gesturing to her and that boy with pink hair, the one that made the crystals. Her train of thought was derailing and she blinked to try and focus on her conversation with Sophia. What was it about? Helpful. [color=lightcoral]"Yes, helpful!"[/color] she nodded her head, a smile finally turning the corners of her lips up. [color=lightcoral]"I'm pretty useful in battle. Shoot me in the knee and I can transfer them to those icky fish monster things,"[/color] her words were excited, showcasing how fast she can change moods. [color=lightcoral]"Oh, but you weren't there, were you?"[/color] She paused, trying to recall the people she was with during that battle. 

It seemed that all of a sudden Lily had turned from being dejected to hopeful and happy. Nodding whenever Lily posed her sentences as questions so as to confirm what the girl was saying, Sophia began to smile as she became more relaxed. It seemed that her words had done some good. When Lily turned to talk about the battle she listened closely. It was probably the battle that Sophia had arrived late to, and she didn't know the details of what had happened then. Someone had shot her in the knee so she could transfer the injury to one of the monsters? Ouch. She cringed slightly, but hoped Lily didn't notice. [color=BD892F]"I actually was brought in towards the end, so I wasn't there for most of it. But it sounds like you certainly did make yourself useful. Just make sure you don't hurt yourself too much by trying to make yourself useful. Be careful."[/color]

Lily shrugged. [color=lightcoral]"It can't be helped. That's how my power works,"[/color] she said. [color=lightcoral]"Hmmm... what about yours? You said something about....uh..."[/color] she furrowed her brows, trying to remember. [color=lightcoral]"X-ray vision!"[/color] she finished triumphantly, looking proud that she actually remembered. [color=lightcoral]"How does that work?"[/color]

Talk about the other person for a while, and eventually the talk will turn so you have to talk about yourself. Sophia didn't particularly like talking about herself, but she couldn't help feeling happy that Lily had been able to remember. At least Lily's question was pretty simple, all she needed to do was list the facts. Now, it was explanation time. [color=BD892F]"Actually, X-ray vision is only one of the things I have. My power is like... related to seeing. So I can also use 360 degree vision, and night vision. But, uh, I'm not very strong so I can't see through everything with X-ray vision."[/color] She remembered the weird part about her power, and decided to tell Lily about it too. [color=BD892F]"The thing is, I can't see living things when my power is on. So like, I couldn't really see you the other night when I turned it on."[/color]

[color=lightcoral]"X-ray vision, 360 degrees vision and night vision? Wow. Those sound so cool!"[/color] Lily exclaimed. [color=lightcoral]"You don't even have to turn your head to see behind you! And..."[/color] she tilted her head. [color=lightcoral]"They say cats can see perfectly in the dark... so you're like a cat at night!"[/color] She tapped her cheek with a finger. [color=lightcoral]"Although that last part sure is strange. Maybe it'll make sense later on."[/color] She looked around, the size of the room distracting her. Everything seemed to distract her when she gets into her manic moods. [color=lightcoral]"You room is big. Mine's probably just an eighth of this... but you're supposed to be roomed with other Arbiters, right?"[/color]

Sophia shrugged as Lily exclaimed over her power, her smile growing a little wider. It wasn't much, but Lily was right, it was kind of cool. Talking about cats... where had Heidi gone? Maybe she was hiding somewhere in the other room. After glancing around the room, she turned her attention back to Lily. [color=BD892F]"I think that most other Arbiters do have roommates, but I don't for some reason. There are two extra beds and desks in the other room. I do have to say that I don't really... mind? Being by myself is nice sometimes."[/color] She tilted her head slightly to one side for a moment while she thought. [color=BD892F]"I guess you could say I'm roomed with my cat, Heidi. She's probably hiding somewhere."[/color]

[color=lightcoral]"Well, I always thought it was nice to have roommates since I'm roomed alone. But I won't know and probably won't ever be transferred to a suite like this,"[/color] Lily shrugged. She shouldn't mind. Having other people in a room with her would probably be catastrophic if she ever got bogged down by the voices in her head again. She would probably... She blinked and shook her head, her mood teetering on the edge, threatening to dip down into depression again. But the mention of a cat brought it soaring high again. She loved cats. [color=lightcoral]"A cat! Where is she?"[/color] she looked around excitedly. [color=lightcoral]"Maybe I should have asked for a cat, then maybe I wouldn't be alone all the time..."[/color] she muttered under her breath.

Sophia liked seeing Lily happy like this, so when she showed interest in her cat, she got up off the couch. [color=BD892F]"I can try and see if she wants to say hello,"[/color] she offered, leading the way into the other room. The room was pretty clean, save her pajamas that were thrown on the bed. The cat bed and scratching post were in this room too, over in a corner. Heidi wasn't in the cat bed, so bending over, Sophia peered under the desks and beds until she spotted the Tonkinese under one of the vacant beds. 

From beneath the bed, Heidi stared out at Sophia, making no motion to come out but not going in deeper either. [color=BD892F]"There she is,"[/color] she whispered, motioning for Lily to come over.

Lily complied and came over, crouching down to peer at the cat that was hiding beneath the bed. A delighted look was on her face as she spoke softly. [color=lightcoral]"Hello, Heidi. It's nice to meet such a beautiful cat. My name's Lily,"[/color] she said, conversing with the feline as though she was talking to a person.

[color=BD892F]"She's normally pretty friendly, but I guess she's feeling more shy today."[/color] Maybe Sophia could get her to come out. Getting up quickly to grab a bag of treats she had bought on Tuesday, she took two out and knelt down again, a small distance from the edge of the bed. Holding it out in the palm of her hand, she called Heidi's name to bring the cat's attention back from Lily. Sophia and Heidi were still pretty new to each other as well, but with a little coaxing, Heidi began to emerge from under the bed to receive her treat. Handing the other treat over to Lily, Sophia motioned for her to try and feed it to the cat.

Lily took the treat Sophia handed her and gently extended her hand towards the cat. She didn't try to force the treat on the cat and patiently waited for her to come over. When Heidi slowly took the food the golden haired teenager offered her, Lily's smile was so wide there was no doubting that she was in a very good mood. [color=lightcoral]"You're a nice little kitty, aren't you?"[/color] she praised and then gently patted the cat's head. 

She turned towards Sophia. [color=lightcoral]"Maybe I can still request for one of my own, right?"[/color] she said and then slowly stood up, making sure not to alarm the cat with sudden movements. [color=lightcoral]"Maybe a Persian... or a Ragdoll... or maybe a Scottish Fold."[/color] She nodded her head in excitement. [color=lightcoral]"I think I'm gonna head over to the admin's office now and see if I can request one for my own,"[/color] she grinned. [color=lightcoral]"And I'm glad I came over. You're a nice friend, Sophia. I'm happy I got to know you,"[/color] she smiled prettily.

Lily would probably make a good cat owner, Sophia thought as she watched Heidi take the treat Lily offered her. [color=BD892F]"Yeah, I think you should be allowed to."[/color] It was a little abrupt, the way that Lily was already ready to run off and request one, but she supposed that was just the way she was. Seeing someone so excited and cheerful in USARILN East had made her feel happier, even more so as Lily informed her that she was a nice friend. She couldn't help but grin as she looked down at the floor, a little embarrased. [color=BD892F]"I'm glad I got to know you too,"[/color] she echoed.

Lily reached out and gave Sophia a quick hug, waved goodbye to Heidi and headed towards the door. [color=lightcoral]"I'll see you around then, pretty girls,"[/color] she said before pulling open the door and disappearing outside. 

The blonde headed straight for the admin office, her mind set of asking for a pet. But on her way, she got distracted by the smell of food. With her stomach grumbling in response to the smell, she followed her nose and soon found herself buried in a plateful of food. 

It took her several hours of other distractions (i.e. watching her other classmates, daydreaming and falling asleep in random places) before she finally remembered what she originally wanted to do. It took her several minutes, trying to decide what to request for.

[i]Scottish Fold (a boy please)
A cat house?
Cat grooming stuff
and
Colored papers for origami[/i]

She stared at what she scribbled for a minute before turning it in and heading back to her room where she spent the rest of the day, lazing around, her mood still good from her visit to Sophia's room.
[/hider]
[hider=Sept. 11-13, 2020]
The next day was a good day for Lily as well. There were no faceless people or strange blonde classmates bothering her in her dreams and there were no voices whispering malicious things in her head. Half of her mind was still plagued by the lives she took in Ground Zero though it seemed like a distant memory now. Her short visit to Suite 226 really did the trick. An assurance from a friend was a powerful thing and it made the teenager wonder why she took so long to try and make friends. She sat in her bed contemplating what to do for the day. Would visiting Sophia again be too much? She liked her company, she liked her cat but she didn't want to be too imposing. [color=lightcoral][i]She might get tired of me,[/i][/color] she thought and pushed the idea of going to see her again out of her head. 

She got out of her bed and the first thing that caught her eyes was the piece of paper on top of the donut box.

[color=lightcoral]"Oh, right. I should turn this in,"[/color] she muttered to herself as she took the list of electives. It was a good thing that she left it where she did because as expected, she had completely forgotten about it. With the sheet of paper between her teeth, she hastily put on her coat, grabbed a donut--not really realizing that the donut she took was the same one that triggered her mental breakdown the day before--and then headed out of the door towards the class that she didn't need to attend. 

The assigned teacher for the day entered the room just after Lily did. The small teenager laid her elective sheet on the teacher's table just as he started drawling on today's topic. Without knowing if walking out in the middle of the lecture was rude, she ended up taking her seat and staying for the entire class. She paid attention for the first 5 minutes and then ended up nodding off for the rest.

The rest of the day was fairly unremarkable. 

On Saturday, Lily spent it lounging around in her room, getting as much rest as she possibly could. The voices in her head had started whispering to her again but it was bearable and easily ignored. She thought about her dreams and wondered who Sebastian was after she caught herself doodling his name absentmindedly on a piece of notebook paper.

[color=lightcoral][i]How do I find out who he is? What do I have that connects me to my forgotten past..."[/i][/color] She flicked one of her paper cranes with a finger and it landed on the floor. Lily bent down to pick it up when her eyes landed on the small desk drawer. [color=lightcoral][i]Oh.[/i][/color] The only thing that connected her to her past was inside it. Her cellphone. 

With the paper crane forgotten, she took slip the drawer open and took it out. She laid it on top of the paper she had been doodling on and stared at it like it as though it was her first time seeing a mobile phone. Slowly, she reached out and traced a finger on the cracked screen, suddenly feeling apprehensive on finding out what it contained. Would she find hate messages in it, like the words whispered in her head by those unknown voices? Would there be angry words there? Did she have any friends? Any family?

It took her several minuets of arguing with herself before she finally decided to turn it on. As soon as it booted, it beeped several times, indicating that she had unread text messages. She peered at it.

Six messages were from Sebastian, the first two dated the day she was found just outside USARILN East, one dated the day she woke up, another dated five days ago, another three days ago and the last dated only yesterday. Lily opened one after the other.

[color=f7976a][i]I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll come back, I promise.[/i][/color]

[color=f7976a][i]Please, please stay alive.[/i][/color]

[color=f7976a][i]I keep dreaming that you died. Please be alive. Please be safe.[/i][/color]

[color=f7976a][i]I want to go back to see if you're okay but not now, not yet. I have to believe that you're okay. Please be.[/i][/color]

[color=f7976a][i]I tried calling you earlier but it said that your phone is switched off. Please let me at least know if you're okay. Just that. You don't need to talk to me if you don't want to. I know you're probably angry that I haven't come back.[/i][/color]

[color=lightcoral]"Haven't come back..."[/color] she read the last part out loud. So this Sebastian, whoever he is, was coming back for her? Who was he? Was he family? A friend? Was he a mage too? Why would she be angry at him? Did she want him to come back?

She pressed the reply button and typed in three words.

Who are you?

She sent the message, laid the phone back on her table and stared at it. 5 minutes passed, 10... 20... 40... an hour... 2 hours... There was no reply. [color=lightcoral][i]Hmmmm... Must not want to talk to me after all,[/i][/color] she concluded and stashed the phone back into her drawer, promptly forgetting about it. 

The blonde went on with her day, observing any classmates she ran into without really interacting with them. She was happy with having Sophia as a friend. Did she need anymore?

Sunday came around with Lily running into Christmas in the morning. She walked away from him chanting his room number in her head and satisfied that she made another friend. She spent the rest of the day wandering around the campus with no real plans on what to do and wondering if she should add more friends to her still small but growing collection. 

[/hider]
[hr][center]𝕊𝕖𝕡𝕥. 𝟙𝟜, 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟘   / /   𝕌𝕊𝔸ℝ𝕀𝕃ℕ 𝔼𝕒𝕤𝕥   / /   𝔹𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔹: ℝ𝕠𝕠𝕞 𝟚𝟘𝟘  / /  ~𝟘𝟞𝟜𝟝[/center][hr]
Lily woke up to the sound of heavy rain hitting her window. The nightmares had started again and a part of it was still in her head. The blonde boy she was always trying to find and protect in her dreams was lying in a pool of blood. While he looked dead, he blinked the moment Lily came to stand by him. He raised an oddly bent arm and pointed a broken finger at her, accusing her of killing him. Faceless people with different colored hair --aquamarine, blonde, brown, pink--came to stand behind her, their voices raised as they flung insult after insult at her.

[i]You killed him.[/i]

[i]You're a monster.[/i]

[i]You deserve to die.[/i]

Lily sighed as she stared out the window. But there was really no time to mull over what to do with her recurrent nightmares as a loud knock on her door made her jump. The booming voice of the guard outside ordered her to get ready and the teenager got out of bed and changed. There was really no sense trying to resist whatever USARILN had planned for her today or for any other day for that matter. She brushed her hair up and tied it into high ponytail before she opened the door and walked ahead of the guard, following his instructions on where to go.

She could have sworn she saw a look of relief on the guard's face when she glanced back at him briefly. Most probably because she was an Aberration that wasn't being difficult. 

A few minutes later and she was herded with the rest of her classmates into a big lecture hall. Lily found herself staring wide eyed at the screen that featured a huge metallic creature on four spindly legs. She didn't even bother looking who she was seated beside as her attention was focused entirely on what she guessed would be the next monster they would all be pitted against.

[color=f7976a]"...classifying this as a category three... significant threat... subnatural... [i]human[/i] target... can hear and understand you..."[/color] The commander's words seemed to blur together in Lily's mind and these words were the only things that really registered. A human target? 

[color=lightcoral][I]That's not...[/i][/color] That's not what? That's not appropriate? We should try to reason with it? Was that what she wanted to think? To say? When she had no problems hurting the clearly human looking copies of people in Ground Zero? She clamped her mouth shut and tried to focus on the rest of the briefing. 

The people she was most familiar with were assigned to different group than hers and she was assigned in the first healer group with Allison and Kusari. The two girls would keep her safe.

[i]But who will keep them safe from you?[/i] A mocking voice asked in her head. 

She tried to ignore it and instead waited for her friends names to be called out. Christmas was obviously assigned to the second healer group. There was no way she would be grouped together with him but nevertheless, she vowed to help him out whenever she can. Sophia, on the other hand, was assigned in the roving group intended to help locate and evacuate any injured combatants or civilians to a healer. [color=lightcoral][i]Hmm... I guess we'll be working together in a way after all...[/i][/color] she thought as she patiently listened as best as she could to the rest of the instructions. 

When they were dismissed, she was one of the last to go out.