Your local antique store has just burned down. The owner has a massive closing down sale on all his remaining stock before filing for bankruptcy. Everything else was sold except this luxuriously crafted mahogany desk. Since it was the last day of the sale, and it still remainded unsold despite repeated discounts, the owner decides to give it to you for free.

You hire a trailer to take this bad boy home. As you take it up the flight of stairs to your office, you wrench your back in an awkward way. You collapse in sheer agony. Congratulations, you have a hernia.

I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.