[@Bishop]

First I'd like to address the fact that I have a concern with your reading comprehension. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you did read everything, but you didn't comprehend anything. That's twice now I have had to pull up two little clips from Neo that you somehow missed. Or didn't understand. I expect better comprehension and reading in the IC. 

Second off, and I am not saying this lightly. But I think you are better off starting with a new character. Because this character is unacceptable in every aspect of the word. It has nothing to do with the RP. It's poorly written. And we're not talking grammar. We're talking poorly written. 

[quote]Before he was a pirate he worked as a payed killer, an assassin. From the age of 13 he had already killed 3 people. As the years passed by the numbers only stacked, going up to the hundreds. His signature killing method was to take out both eyes of his victims. Cutting their finger, in their blood he wrote on the nearby walls quotes like 
"The Darkness is all consuming" 
and 
"If thou gaze into darkness, 
fear, terror, horror is all that await thee."
among others.[/quote]

[color=yellow]Tell me how a 13 year old even manages that. Full grown adults weight more than a thirteen year old. You're trying to tell me he can overpower an adult and manage to kill them. He sounds also less like an assassin and more like a serial killer fine. But how does a serial killer become a pirate? Please tell me. Beyond the fact that it's just written like a middle schooler's English class assignment. And if you think I'm being cruel;

Reputation:

"Have you heard the news of the killer that takes eyes?" two woman sat across from each other, folding laundry over the laundry line they shared. Their shabby dresses desperately betrayed both the young woman's natural beauty. One had a baby slung across her chest in a blanket wrapped around her shoulder. 

"Please don't talk such rot in company of children," the other woman gasped in horror that her friend would chose such a subject to talk about.

"Don't you feel unsafe walking the streets?" her friend continues. Of course she did. Of course she was afraid. It was all over the papers and the town crier continued hollering about the horrific details. It could just about unnerve anyone.

-end- 

I really suggest you look this over before you think anyone would accept that quality of writing level. Because I won't and I know Neo won't.[/color]

[quote]He has a dark side and a light side in him. He is terrifying the more edgy he feels as an aura of darkness is released around him. The opposite happens when he loses his edge. His personality weakens, he becomes less sure and all that dark theme suddenly gets tilted over and shattered. One way to do this is to throw a counter whenever he says one of his signature cool dark themed quotes. Another way is for others to take him lightly or just brush them off as stupid moods. If he can't keep his persona intact then his powers severely weaken up to the point of disappearing, he becomes self conscious and unsure, feeling insecure. You may find him cowering in a corner of the ship if you enter his quarters after a heavy hit to his dark themed persona...

But otherwise he is ruthless, sadistic, masochistic, narcissistic...and other bunch of random shit which even he can't make heads or tails of. It all kinda gets mixed in there with one sometimes overlapping the other and taking turns going on top of each other. He is like a safe with a rotational device lock and every time you reach a *click* something changes about him.[/quote]

[color=yellow] There is no nuisance in his personality at all. He's evil. Okay, what makes people want to work with him? Why is he on a ship full of people? These personality traits don't make him workable. He's just a lunatic.[/color]

[quote]Relic:  Inner Demons
The relic was inside a corpse, it was merged with the corpse. Touching it, transferred the power over to him. It brings out the power of someone's soul out in the open. For his case he got the powers of "The Shadow" when he was moderately edgy and it brought out the powers of "The Darkness" when he was full on sharp Edge Lord.[/quote]

[color=yellow] I have no words on how stupid this sounds. I know that's very cutting. Very harsh and extremely blunt. But honestly I don't like it at all. I think it sounds like it lacks any originally. I think it lacks anything creative. I think it lacks any good writing to make it sensible.

He's Jekly and Hyde without the potion. Essentially. And I am pretty sure Jekly and Hyde were not called Edge Lord.[/color]

I am not even going to waste my time with the History. Not only is it badly written. It's a bad premise on top of bad writing. On top of how does any of this correlate with this RP?

[center][h2]EVERYONE[/h2][/center]

Just because they are pirates doesn't mean that they have to be blood thirsty murders. Robin Hood is a pirate, but he steals from the rich to give to the poor. Actually if you take into account things from real life, the real life pirates that took over that ship, were simply low income poor workers who took to crime because they had no other option in their life. Not every pirate is some scumbag who drinks babies blood and rips out intestines. 

Poverty breeds crime. Just a thought.