[center][h3]Belonging[/h3]
[i]by Dr. Dervs and Greenbean[/i]
[/center]
[hr][i]13th Sun’s Height, nighttime[/i]

By the time Sirine had finished her daily writing and packed away her belongings for the night, the sun had already set, though there still remained a lingering redness in the horizon. Stepping out of the tent Meg had helped set up for her, the former pirate couldn’t help but grudgingly accept that there was a certain frigid beauty to Skyrim that warmer lands did not. She sniffed the air delicately, the cool night air mixed with the scent of grass and smoke strangely appealing to the senses. Despite the difference in temperature and the fact that her short cloak was wrapped around her so tightly that she could no longer tighten it further, it made no sense to the Imperial Redguard to spend her time cooped up in a small tent with nothing interesting to look at, at least not until she was sleepy. 

Dark eyes roaming the campsite, Sirine made her way through the campfires and tents. At one point she caught sight of Meg snuggling up to someone who was not Jaraleet- [i]Fjolte[/i]. Her eyebrow rose in clear surprise but she looked away after a small moment; it was none of her business who the younger Nord spent her time with, and clearly the two were more than comfortable. Besides, her gaze had soon fallen on a much more familiar figure in the distance, lounging on the grass in a fashion she was now used to seeing. She had seen him chatting with Latro before letting herself be distracted by Meg, and despite the awkward peace between the two formerly separate groups, it had been hard for her not to feel a little tension. Still, she had kept to her own affairs, knowing full where she was needed and where she wasn't.

Her lips turned up at the corners and stretched into a closed smile, eyes brightening with anticipation as she stepped lightly, keeping the sound of her footfalls to a minimum while carefully inching closer and closer. She was glad she had decided to only keep her dagger on her person for the moment; the lack of a clunky sword made for quieter movement.

[i]Time to see how good your ears really are, Captain Greywake.[/i]

Zaveed had been lying on a soft patch of grass, his gaze skyward towards the twin moons, his eyes drinking in the crimson hue of Masser… Jode, he corrected himself, studying the craters and wondering if his people truly resided there. There was much to the Khajiiti faith and pantheon he didn’t understand, not truly, and he was painfully aware of how that ignorance was going to doom him to the Scuttling Void. 

Was it too late in life to find the right path, to become illuminated in Jode’s light? He didn’t know, and with a sigh, he slumped down into the hands behind his head.

[I]Maybe I’ll take up Daedra worship. They don’t seem too picky.[/I] he mused darkly in his own thoughts.

Suddenly, he sensed a figure and he smiled despite his gloomy thoughts. “I was wondering when you would come and find me, Beautiful.” he called out quietly, taking in her faintly earthy scent. She was upwind of him, and after spending long enough at her side, her cadence was familiar.

No one else would would have approached, regardless.

"Ah." Sirine let out a loud and exaggerated sigh as she paused in her steps, crossing her arms over her chest in a show of annoyance that wasn't truly there. "And here I thought I was making as little sound as an ant beneath a rock." Her arms dropped loosely to her sides as she started to walk once more, no longer taking care to keep quiet as she reached the khajiit man and lowered herself on the grass. She settled down in a cross legged fashion, sitting perpendicular to him. 

Studying his face, Sirine couldn’t help but admire the bold black markings on the dark grey fur, though her eyes paused as they fell upon his ice blue eyes, noting they seemed a little lackluster despite his smile. "Hm..." Reaching out, she tapped his shoulder with her knuckles. "You seem in a contemplative mood, Zaveed. Have you forgotten that's Sevari's domain?"
 
“Contemplation is not brooding, Sirine. Am I not allowed to take a break from being flippant and brash?” he teased, glancing over to Sirine. “We’re quite a far way away from the sea now, I hope you don’t feel as if I’ve led you astray. We’ll get back sooner or later, I just thought you might like to scale a mountain or thirty for that once in a lifetime experience.” Zaveed chuckled. “Not because mountains aren’t abundant, but because who in their non-addled mind would do this more than once for fun?” 

"No, no you aren't," she replied immediately, smiling despite herself. "Though that is quite fair, brooding is most definitely his thing. Please don't take his example there, one's enough." She laughed lightly before looking away from his face and to their surroundings instead. "I'm not going to say I don't feel the lack of salt water, but-" Waving a hand at the mountainous region they found themselves in, she continued. "-this has a beauty of its own." She looked back down at him, raising an eyebrow. "Is that what you've been thinking about? I hope [i]you[/i] don't feel as if I would hold this journey against you. I knew full well it may take its time."

“I was mostly trying to keep the mood light; heavy thoughts upon my mind and all of that.” Zaveed’s smile faltered a bit and his gaze returned to the moons above. “When we met, when I was dying… that’s been on my mind of late. Much of my life has been spent simply trying to earn my right to live without much consideration on the toll it’s been reaping upon my soul. With Gregor what he is, it’s put that veil between life and death into a contrast I seldom took time to contemplate.” he sighed. “I’ll cease to be, and I don’t want that. I don’t know who my family was, and looking up there, I wonder if they’re looking back or if that’s just some skooma-born myth of a superstitious desert tribe. You know that’s what Khajiit means, yes? Khaj means desert, -iit means one’s location or occupation. Hence, of the desert. My heart’s always detested sands, it belongs to the sea, but isn’t that a bit backwards for what one such as myself should be?” he asked in a somewhat rambly contemplation. 

Sirine was quiet, the smile on her face tapering to a more solemn look. Without saying anything she scooted a little forward, resting her hand on his arm, conscious of the fur beneath her palm. Hearing his words, she wondered how long it must have been before he'd had a chance to speak them out loud. No one expected deep, existential thoughts from him, that much she knew; despite it all they still mostly saw the khajiit man as an outsider among them, someone charming yet deadly. Had anyone taken the time to listen to him, to truly understand him and look beyond what he let show? She doubted it, and it made her heart twist painfully.

"Just because we're called something," she finally started, "or look some way, it doesn't mean [i]that[/i] is all we’re meant to be. If that were the case, I would be sitting pretty in some beautiful manor in Gilane, staring at the city below from some gilded balcony, or perhaps in Anvil. Who knows. We are what we are, but that hardly means that is [i]all[/i] we can be." Hesitating a moment, Sirine distracted herself, lightly running her fingers over his arm before speaking once more. "You know fair well my thoughts on the divines and my thoughts on family. If I'm being completely honest with you, I don't know where my soul will be headed once I'm gone... I only know that I want to live my life without any more regrets.

"Our paths, we had never been given a choice of which way we would be shoved forward. Despite that, we made what we could of life, for better or for worse, and when there was finally a chance, we trusted each other and took the path we believed was right. All of our choices have led us to this point in life where... well, look at us." She smiled down at him, squeezing his arm gently. "From a privateer and pirate to paving the path of becoming heroes who will hopefully save Tamriel." 

“Respectfully, I know exactly where mine is going. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” Zaveed responded as gently as he could, a tension in his voice. His gaze remained skyward. “The thing is, I’ve spent so long thinking about just making it day to day in a world of hard people that I never stopped to think what happens if I should fall. Morality never factored into my thoughts; losing simply wasn’t an option for me, so I didn’t let myself take many risks or chances where I didn’t think the odds were in my favour.” he shook his head. “I’m hardly hero material, Sirine. I might be helping people who might fit those britches some day, I’m doing this purely for selfish reasons. The Dwemer took everything from me, so I’m going to take everything right back. I’ve never apologized for what I am, but I will make them apologize for what they are.”

Sirine's brow furrowed as she looked down at the hollow of her lap. Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, she felt resentment towards higher beings who thought it was their right to meddle in mortal lives in what she deemed was cruel and unfairness on their part, even though she knew her feelings would make absolutely no difference to anyone. She was reminded of her now dead friend- where was his soul? What about the rest of her crew? Her eyes closed; she needed a moment to compose herself before speaking up once more. "Is that truly selfish, Zaveed?" Her voice was barely a whisper as she looked down at the hand that was resting in her lap, barely able to see the healed rope burns around her wrist, a continuous reminder of her sordid past. "It sounds just about right to me. If someone's hurt you, I don't see what's wrong with giving them back what they deserve." It was hard to keep the bitter tone out of her voice, so she simply gave up on it.

“Well, heroes in tales don’t typically go seeking vengeance. There’s usually a lot more selfless actions and care about the innocent; I’m not the kind of person people tell kindly stories of.” Zaveed chuckled lightly, slumping down again. “It doesn’t much matter what’s right or wrong to me at this point, I’ve never known Jode’s light. Innocence as a youth cannot compare to the decades that came after where my survival turned into a life thriving off of other people’s misery. I don’t even know what moon sugar tastes like; I’m awful at being a Khajiit. And for that, I am destined to the Dark Behind the World.”

Sirine finally looked away from her lap and back at Zaveed, her expression undecipherable. It was true enough what he said; ultimately a person had to live up to the decisions they had made and bear the consequences. But... "Why did you help me out of that brothel Zaveed?" she finally asked, her eyes staring at him pointedly for a good moment before averting her gaze, looking instead at the night sky and the moons above them. "You could very well have taken whatever information I had and just left. In fact, I wouldn't have been surprised if you had, anyone else would have. Who in their right mind cares about a whore in a tavern?”

She paused to take a breath; her hand curled into a loose fist, bunching the cloth of her tunic in its grasp. “You didn't leave though. You did more than was expected of you. You bore so much trouble in the desert, and then at the oasis. I could see the way they all looked at you- yet you took it all gracefully. And then the prison, where you could have lost your life more than once. All I wanted was information, yet you gave me so much more for the pittance I did for you. Why? Was it all for the sake of vengeance against the dwemer?"

“A man’s only as good as his word. If I can’t keep my promises, sure I could have short-term gains at someone else’s expense, but then I earn a reputation as being untrustworthy, dishonourable. In our line of work, that’s something you cannot afford.” the Khajiit explained with a frown. 

“But it’s true, I didn’t have to do more than find out where Bakih was as per our agreement. It just didn’t seem very fair or just that I found Marassa and leaving you without at least trying to see your own personal quest through… and after my, hm, ordeal, my perspectives on a number of things have shifted considerably. I had once frequented brothels without much consideration for the circumstances of the women working there, but maybe I was feeling vulnerable myself, but where you were in the [I]Scorpion’s Song[/I] just had this air of pervasive darkness.” Zaveed said, sitting up and taking in Sirine with his icy eyes. “But you were someone who risked a lot to help me, expecting so little in turn. I’ll be honest, the idea of just leaving you in that shithole without at least getting you out of that life filled me with this sense of guilt and self-loathing I didn’t think possible.” he chuckled darkly. “As I said, vulnerable.”

"I would have been fine if it was simply vengeance," Sirine replied, her hand slackening as she let go of the cloth she'd had in her grasp. "But it makes me happy to hear that it was something more than just that." She sighed softly and cast a glance in his direction, meeting his eyes for a second before looking away yet again. "I never cared for the gods or what comes before life or after, but I know the same can't be said for others." She hesitated, unsure if what she wished to say was even worth saying at this moment. "It just seems unfair to me that your fate would be decided even before you leave this world."

“I haven’t led a good life, at least not one that could be considered particularly savory. Barely fending off death gives one a certain new perspective on things, yes?” Zaveed smiled, placing his hand over Sirine’s. “Maybe it’s too late for me to change one’s stars, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to sit about and wallow in futility. I’m going to use the time I have left to figure out the person I should have been all along. I’ve been thinking a lot of the boy I was… I wonder if he’s still in there.” he pondered.

"I used to wonder that about myself." When Sirine returned her gaze to Zaveed, she let it stay on him, this time refusing to look away. "After everything that was done to me, and everything I did to others, how could I ever go back to the person I once was?" Her hand turned beneath his, fingers wrapping around his. "I would have thought it impossible, but I'm not too sure about that anymore." Smiling, she squeezed his hand before continuing. "I think a person just needs a little encouragement from the right people to find that part of themselves they feel they've lost. I'm still searching... but you've shown me that it's worth the risk to trust again. I think if you truly wish to find that boy, you will."

"This is plenty encouraging," Zaveed said with a smile, squeezing back. "You know, it's rather droll and lonely doing this kind of search alone. I think I'd very much like it if you were with me when we do go on that journey… you've become a part of me that I know I cannot do without. I never realized how lonely the world can be without someone who sees you for who you really are, past the reputation and the name."

"You don't have to worry about that," Sirine replied, looking up at the sky once more, her smile still very apparent on her face. "From Gilane to the Alik'r to here in the Reach- if I'd wanted to leave, I would have done so much earlier than now." She remained quiet for a moment after, simply relishing the peace. "The truth is that I like this feeling, this belonging. After those months by myself, meeting you that day and waiting for your return was like..." She couldn't help but chuckle as she gave him a sidelong glance "... like catching the scent of saltwater even before you can see the waves. The thought of losing that- losing [i]you[/i]- frankly it's a little scary." 

She lifted her free hand to her hair, the slightest hint of awkwardness showing itself as she fiddled with her locks. "In simpler words, what I mean to say is that I am happy being here with you and I'm not planning on going anywhere." 

“Belonging…” Zaveed repeated softly, placing a hand upon Sirine’s cheek, his gaze steady and his heart racing. “Maybe what we both needed was ground beneath our feet to ground our souls. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, Beautiful Sirine, but I know that you will be there and it doesn’t seem so frightening. I would very much like it if I woke up tomorrow and you were the first thing I laid eyes on.” he admitted.

Sirine's hand stilled in her hair, her face beneath his hand becoming flush. In the deep recesses of her mind she could remember feeling something similar to this a long, long time ago, when she was merely a silly child who knew nothing of the realities of the world and the darkness it contained. Her hand fell away from her hair and settled on Zaveed's, smile warm and eyes warmer still. "I guess being away from the sea isn't so bad after all," she murmured, a low laugh emitting from her as she closed her eyes, savouring the moment. When she finally opened them, dark brown eyes met icy blue ones, and it was difficult not to lean towards him. "Let's make that happen then, hm?"

Without another word or hesitation, Zaveed leaned in and gently kissed Sirine, the faintest and most teasing of brushing on their lips. He felt young again, and the woman before him made him feel like he imagined what most people experienced when they found a partner they connected with, who made them feel like better versions of themselves, that they wanted to dedicate themselves to. There had been plenty of women in Zaveed’s life, they had simply been one night acquaintances, two people mutually deciding to indulge their baser instincts or conduct a simple transaction. This felt like it meant something, like he earned it.

Zaveed was determined to make sure he continued to do so.

Sirine's grasp on his hand tightened, a smile on her lips as she returned the kiss. When was the last time she had enjoyed one? She couldn't remember, it had been much too long... but she was quite certain that this sweet and tender meeting of lips was something she would be remembering for a very long time indeed. After a moment, she pulled away the smallest bit, though she was still close enough that her nose almost touched his. Her eyes met his and her smile widened, feeling as if her heart would expand out of her chest. 

"Come with me," she said, gently tugging on his hand as she stood up. 

Zaveed rose with Sirine, holding her hand as they walked towards her tent, a surprisingly nervous flutter in Zaveed’s gut surprising him. Why that particular feeling, he wondered, looking around almost bashfully to see if anyone was watching. This was something they both wanted, a bond they shared, and Zaveed was daring and courageous to the point of legend. Women didn’t intimidate him, and he certainly knew his way around them… so why was this different?

When they arrived, Sirine held open the tent flap, ushering Zaveed inside. He sat on the sparse blankets, watching her come in as he removed his boots and weapon belt, leaving him just in his trousers and shirt. He smiled at her approach, holding his hand out for her to sit with him. “Sirine, I…” he said, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. “I do not wish to rush into anything, or to give you the impression that I’m after something more, ah… lustful.” he said with a nervous chuckle, running a hand across the back of his head, shaking it. 

Taking hold of his hand, Sirine sat down before him on her knees. Her gaze was now tinged with wetness, and her free hand reached up to rub away the tears before settling lightly on his forearm. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that," she replied softly, leaning forward to press her forehead against his shoulder. She couldn’t help but remember the last time she was this close, in tears, vulnerable, grieving. It was much of the same now, except there was no sadness, only warmth. "But I already knew this, Zaveed... no one else has ever treated me with as much honour and respect as you have. This- what we're feeling, I like it. This is why I feel if ever again I..." Her voice trailed before she continued, "... as long as you wish it, it will be you." 

Lifting her head, she brought her hand to his face, resting it gently on his cheek as she looked into his eyes. Smiling, she leaned in and softly pressed her lips against his, lingering for a few seconds before speaking once more. “For now, let’s sleep, hm?”

Zaveed adjusted himself, laying down while gently pulling Sirine down with him. As they faced one another, he reached out gently, cradling her cheek and pressing his brow against hers, his eyes closing slowly. “And as long as you wish it, I will be by your side. The world doesn’t always make sense, and it can be cold and cruel, but I know that you are the fire that warms my heart and lights my way.” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “And when we wake up in the morrow, we will face whatever it holds together.”