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Upon getting home, Thomas went over to his couch and set the stuffed dog down. A part of him wished that he had an actual dog. With the other toy, he went over and set it down on the dining room table with all of Nixie’s birthday gifts that he got her this year. Glancing at them, he didn’t want to take too much time from the festival, but he found himself staring at them. [i]None of these matter now that Levi is back in town…[/i] In his mind, he doubted she would even notice them if he left them at her house. For some reason, negative thoughts were creeping in. He couldn’t push them away. It was difficult and he felt like he was going to do something stupid. 

Walking away from the presents with a sigh and stroking a set of fingers through his hair, Tommy was trying not to take too much time at his house or take a shower for too long because he knew he would get wrapped up in his thoughts and probably miss the rest of the festival. He already won the bear for Talie and he won something for Nixie and himself, he hoped they both liked what he won them. How Talie reacted caused him to be uncertain about her feelings for the bear or possibly him. That was a weird interaction. He didn’t know how he should feel about it. She’s never thanked him like that before. 

As he stepped into the shower a sharp inhale was created and it sucked wind through his teeth from the hot water hitting his body. “[color=66946b][i]Aahhh~[/i][/color]” There was that sharp pain again and his face winced. For some reason that shoulder decided to kill him today. Ever since he woke up this morning it was a pain and he found himself naturally grabbing that shoulder in an attempt to coddle it or ease the pain. The man had no idea why it was hurting so badly from the simplest things though he wasn’t committing to any decision that would lead him to the hospital, not yet. 

Attempting to be quick once his shoulder settled down and became tolerable, Tommy needed hot water to combat how internally frigid his body became from the ice water in the dunk tank. His feet ached under his weight and they were wrinkled and discolored from staying in soggy socks for so long. “[color=66946b]Dunk tanks suck…[/color]” Mumbling to himself as he washed his hair. He didn’t need to be smelling like a wet dog or anything while dancing tonight. 

Tommy spent longer than he anticipated he would in the shower, about thirty minutes, and he turned it off while grabbing a towel. Starting to dry himself as he stepped out and found himself looking at a broken mirror in the master bathroom. A distorted and shattered reflection of Tommy peered back through all the pieces that stayed up on the wall and he sighed. That broke almost a year ago when he was drinking heavily one night and slammed his fist into it. It was around his father’s death date. That wasn’t an excuse though that week usually had him fucked up in more ways than he could ever explain to someone. 
He remembered how Nixie asked him how he got the cuts on the outer side of his palm and pinky finger on his right hand and he told her that he must have done it while riding Pandora or working around the house, he had no idea. A lie. He shouldn’t lie to her, but he didn’t want her to see him as anything else but a support system. The mirror needed to be replaced but no one came into the master bedroom or bathroom so he was not in any rush. 

Shrugging his shoulders as he completed the drying process as well as he could before quickly getting [url=https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4c/4a/0f/4c4a0f1eee3fe1f828fcd5a1200f436d.jpg]dressed[/url]. Going over to the cabinet in the bathroom and grabbing out an ibuprofen bottle. Dumping a few pills into his hand before throwing them into his mouth and swallowing them dry. Tommy put the bottle back and closed the cabinet before he continued to do what he needed to do. 

As he walked around the house and was making sure he had everything, he glanced at the presents on the dining room table, and he knew he needed to get things done before returning to the festival. Knowing he might be drinking and possibly do something stupid later, Tommy made the decision to drop Nixie’s presents off tonight. If he didn’t have them anymore, he couldn’t do anything stupid and regretful, and Nixie’s birthday wasn’t more than a few days away. Early birthday presents wouldn’t hurt anything. His heart began to race at the thought of what he was doing. [i]Am I doing something I will regret?[/i] was repeating in his mind but he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, pushing those thoughts into the back of his mind. No, he wasn’t going to regret this… no matter the outcome it caused. Inhaling deeply once more, he needed it, before walking towards the dining room table and grabbing his [url=https://i.pinimg.com/474x/8f/47/62/8f4762fd70778a0432172f9bdd313d3f.jpg]hat[/url] that hung on one of the dining room chairs. 
Grabbing his [url=https://i.pinimg.com/736x/bd/8c/57/bd8c5712e510239b62da4bd6db7f6f79.jpg]boots[/url] as he sat down and began to put his socks on. Putting his boots on as he grabbed his [url=https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/710DPnFpq5L._AC_UY741_.jpg]jacket[/url] and slid that on as well. Standing back up and stretching in an attempt to rid him of his nervous energy. It helped a little bit. Only a little. Adjusting all of his clothes and accessories, Tommy felt way better out of a work uniform and in his everyday wear. Most of the time he was wearing something like this to work. 

Walking over to the living room, Tommy grabbed a cologne and put it on before leaving the house. The cologne was called [i]gunslinger[/i] or that was the brand. He could not remember where he got it. It was something that Nixie’s moms got him for Christmas a few years back if he remembered correctly. He didn’t really buy colognes for himself. It made him smell very earthy and it wasn’t in an overwhelming way along with a tint of cherry wood and a light fragrance of evergreen trees. It was an interesting cologne but he would wear it because it was a gift. Plus he didn’t care to waste people’s presents. 

Grabbing the presents and stepping out the door, Tommy made sure it closed behind him as he went over to his jeep and fired her up. Making sure he set everything nicely on the passenger side seat. As the lights were on and the engine rumbled, he couldn’t help but feel the chill of the air before closing the door behind him. Sitting in the driver's seat as he rolled down the window. At least he was wearing a long sleeve, he didn’t know how cold it was supposed to get tonight or if he was still chilly from the dunk tank. A shaky breath came from him as he asked himself, “[color=66946b]What are ya doing?[/color]” The man kept his eyes on the variety of gifts he got for Nixie’s thirtieth birthday. 

These gifts were all something he knew she would like. Possibly. One of them was something he won for her tonight at the carnival game because he knew she would love it or at least he assumed she would love the stuffed pegasus toy. His nervousness was building up in his chest as he continued to stare at her presents in thought. The other items were two movie tickets to a movie she brought up since it was coming out. He didn’t even know if she truly wanted to go see it but he was trying to show that he listened to the things she would say. Then he felt like an idiot. He could have just bought her one. Tommy bought two in hopes that they could go together but he didn’t even care for movies. Nixie knew that. Why would he even buy two? No. She would most likely take someone else. For some reason this was relaxing and a painful thought at the same time. It was a scapegoat present, he was already thinking of explanations if she questioned anything. [i]Stop that… Don’t think like that…[/i] Closing his eyes and puffing his cheeks full of air. He held his breath before letting the air out slowly. For some reason that calmed him even when he was a little kid. It was something that his mom would make him do if he was having any overwhelming emotions or whatnot. It allowed him to not focus on whatever was bothering him. 


The other presents sitting on the seat had a lot more thought put into them since he purposefully had the items handcrafted for the woman. The item that he thought she would enjoy the most was a [url=https://i.pinimg.com/564x/d7/a8/da/d7a8daff6c7121cd2b52ea56fd797736.jpg]decorative knife[/url] that had her name carved into the one side of the blade, [i]Nixie[/i]. The other items were handcrafted [url=https://i.pinimg.com/564x/31/4f/97/314f9751923d3844bf2952e949e3115e.jpg]dark chocolates[/url] since he knew she didn’t like the sweeter things. These were specially requested and made with dark chocolate, Himalayan salt, and buttery caramel. Ingredients that would combat the small tastes of sweetness that the chocolate and caramel had naturally.  He didn’t think they were overwhelming in any aspect of flavor but he found that they were somewhat bitter before they turned into a buttery flavor with a mild sweetness to them. These gifts were too much, weren’t they? He was going to make an ass out of himself. What if they upset her? Why would they upset her? He sighed in frustration as he kept overthinking about all of this. 
With those thoughts, he turned on the radio, and the typical country music station that he listened to came on. The man reserved before coming to a stop and putting the jeep into gear and going forward. Making his way to Nixie’s house, Tommy turned the vehicle off and stepped out. Grabbing the items and walking up to the woman’s house as he put in the spare key she gave him a while back. He entered without an issue. She had a spare key to his house as well. 
Only being in her house for as long as he needed to be when she wasn’t home. He did not want to intrude on her space. The cowboy set all of the items up on her table so she could see them when she got home and he rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at the cream-colored envelope which was not the usual type you got from the post office. Conflicted feelings flooded him while he stared at it. Setting it down amongst the beautifully wrapped presents except for the festival toy. Biting onto his lip as he looked at the envelope amongst the gifts. “[color=69946b]Aah caint leave this…[/color]” He mumbled to himself as he went to grab the letter. Stopping himself. Thinking. She had enough gifts, right? She didn’t need this letter right before her birthday explaining his feelings for her. What if she retracts his invitation to her birthday because of the letter? [i]Why is this so damn hard…[/i] His one hand began to shake from the nervous anxiety that blanketed his body. 

Breathing in a deep and shaky breath and breaking a shaky breath out, "[color=66946b]Everythin’ will be fine even if ya leave the letter…[/color]” Trying to give himself some type of words of encouragement which helped slightly. Turning on his heel and beginning to walk away. He made his way to the door before he decided to instantly turn around and grab the letter. 

Quickly grabbing the letter and walking out of Nixie’s house, he shut the door and made sure it was locked. This time in a way sealing his fate that he would not leave the letter on the dining room table. Slipping the letter into his back pocket as he stepped off the porch. The crunches under his boot and the sound of his weight covered the silent noise of that letter falling onto the porch. The front of it is his beautiful handwriting. Beautiful for a guy most would say. People teased him for how nice his handwriting was. [i]Nixie[/i] was written on the front of the envelope and he could barely hear a thing from how high his blood pressure escalated and the overpowering noise of his heartbeat in his ears distracted him from realizing that letter wasn’t even in his back pocket. 

Getting back into his vehicle and making his way to the festival, Tommy decided to spend more time at the police station booth. He was working with the K9 officer and teaching kids about what Shaggy the K9 officer does. Allowing children to try to work with the canine to find treats and everything else. He spent an hour or two playing cashier for the food part of the police booth as well. Then he was able to get off the clock and begin wandering around the festival.

It was around sunset and he was looking around, admiring the beautiful colors that were beginning in the sky, and he found himself in conversations with plenty of people. Most people bring up how his being dunked earlier was hilarious or kids reminding him of the canine officer and certain things Shaggy could do. Tommy loved kids and animals. He wanted dogs. He just never felt encouraged enough to get them for some reason and his past self would have thought he would have been married by now with kids. 

That letter you write to yourself or at least one of the teachers in Sanctuary would make you write to yourself and would send it about four years after you left high school. He wrote something to himself, what he hoped he would be at. Moneywise. Life wise. Family wise. Tommy’s younger self would be so disappointed knowing that he was drinking and wasting his life away instead of having the family that he wanted. The dogs that he wanted. The life that he wanted. 

In a way, the canine officer was a dog he had to work with a lot. In other ways, he had many kids. He would participate in the Boys and girls club after-school program for children who needed it. He coached all ages K-12 in hockey. Tommy was substituting those things instead of actually creating a family life for himself. The man had a life. Just not the life he thought he would have. 

Tommy found himself at one of the carnival games, playing another one alone, since he had nothing else to do. He couldn't find Nixie. He didn't spot Levi. That definitely put thoughts in his head. Everyone else that he would want to talk to didn't seem to be out in the open. It felt like everyone was hiding. He was on his own for the time being. Deciding that he would attempt to amuse himself with games, he threw the ball at the cups. Knocking three of them down instantly. 
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[b]Location[/b] At his house - Went to Nixie's house - Back at the festival   
[b]Time[/b] Festival Evening 
[b]Mood[/b] Content
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