[quote=@Estylwen] [hider=Alizée Altieri][CENTER][h1]∀ןızéǝ ∀ןʇıǝɹı[/h1][/CENTER] [i]"I've been like this since I can remember."[/i] [table][row][/row][row][cell] [center][img]https://i.imgur.com/MAONg2G.png[/img] [sup]_______________________________________________[/sup] [sub]Alizée Viola Altieri She/Her [b]|[/b] 17 [b]|[/b] French/Caucasian [b]|[/b] 64 in. [b]|[/b] 99.5 lbs. [sup]_______________________________________________[/sup] Night-stalker [sup]_______________________________________________[/sup] Skills & Talents[/sub] [i]"If you see me, it’s already too late."[/i] [sup]___________________________________[/sup][/center][hider=] [sub] [b]Trailing ⫻[/b] Once she has settled on a Blind target or weak Apparition she likes, she can follow them at a distance all night. This includes staying out of sight, stalking, and blending into the environment around her. She can also pick up on subtle cues that give an indication as to where her target goes, especially if spooked. For example, she can see a window shutter waving in the wind and deduce that her prey has lept inside. [b]Silence ⫻[/b] She is able to move with the least amount of noise possible, placing her weight carefully so she doesn’t shuffle her clothing or disturb creaks in the wood of the floor, or scatter stones. This enhances her ability to trail a target. [b]Parkour ⫻[/b] The city is her oyster when she takes to the rooftops. Able to maneuver in front and back flips, rolling falls, careful foot placement, and hoisting herself over a ledge, she can navigate the maze of structures like a dancer.[/sub][/hider] [/cell][cell][sub][b] Appearance[/b][/sub] [sub][sup]▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔[/sup][/sub] [i]"Do I look normal?"[/i] [indent]Stands at 5’4 feet with a slim, leaning on thin, build. Her skin is ivory and freckled, like she doesn’t often see the sun. There’s endurance in her muscles, but it doesn’t show much in her build. This endurance allows her to leap from structure to structure when scaling the city’s skyline. There are a series of scars starting from her right collarbone down to her hip in the shape of bite marks, with scars mirroring on her back. Theses scars are from when she was bit by the Stygian Snake. She has silver rings in her pierced ears. Depending on her mood, she prefers hoodies and casual wear to obscure her face when trailing. When she’s not trailing, she dresses well in silk blouses and slacks.[/indent] [/cell][/row][/table][sub][b] Psychology[/b][/sub] [sub][sup]▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔[/sup][/sub] [i]"I don’t think it’ll ever get better."[/i] [INDENT][b]MAIN GOAL ⫻[/b] She hopes to understand more about her apparition and how she can protect herself so she doesn’t have to night-stalk at its bidding. [b]PHILOSOPHY ⫻[/b] She believes it’s better to be feared than loved. [b]SECRETS ⫻[/b] She hides her insatiable thirst for entropy. She tries to blame it all on her apparition, but somehow, the thirst has become her own. [b]SEXUALITY ⫻[/b] She is young and innocent, without thoughts of the such. [b]FEARS ⫻[/b] She fears being alone and being trapped. [b]REPUTATION IN OLD COVEN ⫻[/b] When it became known that she had fallen into the habit of night-stalking, she wasn’t well-liked. It often led to heated arguments when she refused to change her ways. It is likely that her inability to find an agreement with the heads of the Coven played a part in the dissolution. [b]ROLE IN THE BATTLE AGAINST THE STYGIAN SNAKE ⫻[/b] She gripped the Snake in her phantom hands and sapped it of its strength, helping aid the battle and weaken it. [b]FLAWS ⫻[/b] Her indecisiveness. She doesn’t want to give in to her thirst or her apparition’s demands wholeheartedly, yet she also doesn’t stop herself or seek help. [/INDENT] [sub][b] Backstory[/b][/sub] [sub][sup]▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔[/sup][/sub] [i]"The Coven dissolving was the worst day of my life."[/i] [indent] She was very young when she had dreams of walking through a dark place, what she would later learn was the Void. One of the times she walked, a being approached her, dark and smothering in its presence. It held out a phantom hand, and she, unknowing of the consequence of her action, held it. When she awoke, the same apparition, albeit in a smaller form appeared before her. Ts voice was in her mind, and its desires were grappling with her own. They fought, and she managed to draw a figurative line between them, keeping control of herself and her body. However, its incessant thoughts and whispers continued to try and mold her to its will as time went on. During the battle with the Stygian Snake, she sapped it of its energy and worked with her Coven to defeat it. She was only seven at the time, but her apparition was wise, and she had knowledge beyond her years. In the dissolution of the Coven afterward, angry tears were shed. The Coven had been the one place where she felt she had family. And now, she was left to wander the world, alone, with apparition’s will crushing her at every given opportunity. In the years after, she became a private investigator of sorts, looking into the paranormal for those who were Blind, and chasing out apparitions that were causing trouble. These apparitions often became her next target, sapping them of their strength to ensure they took a long time to recover. Sometimes, the Blind who contracted her would also become her targets, if they were deemed worthwhile. [/indent] [sub][b] Abstraction[/b][/sub] [sub][sup]▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔[/sup][/sub] [i]"It’s not just me in my head, you know."[/i] [indent][b]TYPE ⫻[/b] Aberration (Adjoined) [b]ABSTRACTION ⫻[/b] Void Light: The seams of the Void that yearn for entropy, sapping strength away. [b]ABSTRACTION DESCRIPTION ⫻[/b] A purple and dark, smoky light that appears around the hands or in beams, circular dots, waves, or other shapes. If phantom hands are summoned, there is enough strength in the Void Light to bend steel rebar. It can also be thinned down to a sharpened edge. Both she and the apparition can use Void Light. [b]Subcategories:[/b] - Void Eyes: Appears as purple irises with a red ring around the pupil. Able to see manifestations of magic or paranormal anomalies, whether hidden or not. Can dissect the vision in layers. - Void Heart: Her apparition from the Void, usually floating a couple of inches above her shoulder. A ball of void light with Void Eyes. Has a thirst for entropy. - Void Arsenal: Manifesting shapes of Void Light that can be used to attack. To be touched by physical Void causes an immediate weakness in the body. Prolonged exposure saps all the energy of the target. Eventually, this is enough to slow and stop the heart, however, due to Emotional-Fields, it does not allow her to stop the heart outright, only bring it near. - Void Warp: Can bend space between two points, passing between them in a flash of purple and black light. It allows her to warp to any location that she can physically see with her eyes. - Void Entropy: Any strength that is sapped away by being in contact with her void light causes her to instantly absorb said energy, which can be used to sate the desires of the Void Heart. [b]LIMITS ⫻[/b] Being able to sap a person or thing of its energy does not mean she can outright kill them. The Emotional-Fields prevent her from doing so. [b]WEAKNESSES ⫻[/b] (DO NOT FILL THIS OUT, I WILL PROVIDE IT FOR YOU) [/INDENT] [sup][b] Other[/b][/sup] [sub][sup]▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔[/sup][/sub] [i]"I just want to feel in control sometimes, you know?"[/i] [indent]- [url=https://www.tiktok.com/@the.valencia.king/video/7302657182699441413?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7246981308223161862][b]TikTok Tribute[/b][/url] - She also speaks French.[/INDENT] [/hider] [/quote]Wow, you're fast; I like how you correctly used Emotional-Fields and mentioned the Void. I see where you're going with this, but this character could use just a little work: [quote][indent][b]1.[/b] First, backstory! My first (and biggest) issue was that she's [i]way[/i] too young to have been in the original Sycamore Tree Coven - the youngest member I mentioned was ten, and even that got a lot of flack. But, a seven-year-old... I [i]live[/i] with a seven-year-old, and I don't even trust her to be by herself for more than five seconds, and I think she would be more harm than good in a fight against a borderline eldritch abomination — abstraction or not. Also, a teenager being a [i]private investigator?[/i] lol [b]2.[/b] Speaking of the backstory, it could use some expansion because of some holes. You don't explain how she got roped into the old Coven; just cuts to her fighting the Stygian Snake. You mentioned that the old coven didn't like her due to night stalking but never expanded on that. The backstory also seems to cut off and doesn't explain her returning to the Coven (or [i]why[/i]). [b]3.[/b] As for her abstraction... I'm unsure how I feel about it; it seems to be all over the place. She can summon hands that can bend steel and sap strength away (which is good enough on its own, to be honest). Then she can also detect magic and paranormal beings, create weapons, [i]and[/i] teleport anywhere she can see. If you want to keep all of these abilities, she could be like a master of none - where she can do many different things but isn't super good at it. Could you also elaborate on the sapping strength part? [b]4.[/b] Maybe also expand on the Apparition because it's very vague.[/indent][/quote] The character has potential to be good, but I think she needs a little bit of work.