[center][img]https://fontmeme.com/permalink/231116/b356da26fceccb813bae2fee371a5a98.png[/img][/center] addressing: Bianca[@Hero][hr] Justinian gave Duchess Patricia a nod,setting the tea down as he turned to the other Scions present. [color=darkorange]“Well, we should all do this again sometime. Dom, Prince Lucas, Theobald, I wish you all a good evening and a peaceful rest.” [/color] The Earth Scion’s feet were taking him out the door before he had even finished his address, giving a wave as he turned the corner and started making his way to his room. One of the knights may have been leading him, maybe he found it on his own, he couldn’t quite remember. His focus was almost entirely on keeping on foot in front of the other, the soft step of his shoes against the floor a comforting distraction from the thoughts and memories crashing around in his mind. Once the door was closed behind him and Justinian was well and truly alone. The room was nicely furnished but entirely unfamiliar. . . with too many closed doors. Even now he could feel the door at his back buckle and bend, cracking underneath black chitin claws. Blood coiled in his nose, so thick as to make him gag, but he couldn’t bring himself to open it. He had nothing to beat back the memories now, the Incepta’s gift no longer responded to his call. So he knelt down by the door, knees curled up to his face, trying his best to just ride it out. Logically, he knew nothing was on the other side of that door, or any of the others in the room. He was supposed to be safe here. He [i]was[/i] safe here. But his heart didn’t stop hammering and every breath was a work of effort through constricted lungs. His fears did not care for the lies of his logical mind. Danger was here. And it was coming straight for him. The sound of the door alerted Bianca to Justinian’s arrival. Her lips parted to let out a silent sigh as she pushed herself off the couch. Her smoke did calm her down somewhat, but she wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. The adrenaline was gone and replaced with exhaustion, but as a knight–as a Templar, she knew how to ignore it. Her heels clicked on the floor as she walked to the foyer, staring down at the Scion before her. Regardless of his current emotional state, Irina’s words prevailed over her sympathy. [color=salmon]“We need to talk,”[/color] Bianca said simply. [color=salmon]“Let’s sit in the living room. It’ll be more comfortable than the floor.”[/color] [color=darkorange]“No it won’t.”[/color] Justinian didn’t look at his templar as he picked himself off the floor, gaze locked to the floor as he moved past her into the living room. Looking between the sofas, he chose the one facing away from the bedroom, glancing at the table. He tried not to flinch as he heard Bianca clicking heels stepping towards him. [color=darkorange]“So, what’s so important, Dame Bianca.”[/color] The words slid out with more venom than intended, but he didn’t apologize. [color=darkorange]“I think we’d both rather be resting right now.” [/color] Bianca was expecting a response like this. She took a seat across from him, placed her hands on her lap after adjusting the strap of her dress. His venom did little to deter her, but she did shake her head when he finished speaking. [color=salmon]“I can’t rest without speaking to you first,”[/color] She corrected him, a small frown on her face. [color=salmon]“The peace we’ve enjoyed until now is gone. Tonight was the first time we were confronted with an enemy, one that looks to harm you. Part of me believed that some of our previous talks would have gotten through to you, that I wouldn’t have to worry because if a situation arose, I knew you would do the right thing.”[/color] She paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully.[color=salmon] “I don’t believe that there is any trust between our pairing. Whether it’s because of the circumstances behind our pairing, or maybe something else, you ignored my words of caution. Many people were hurt tonight…and a not-so-significant number reported that it was because of you.”[/color] She held up a hand to prevent him from interrupting. [color=salmon]“Our intentions don’t matter. The reality of the situation is you gave no thought to my warnings and used your magic in the dark, during a time where fear gripped everyone. For every person you ‘saved’, you injured three others,”[/color] Her other hand opened her phone and showed Justinian a screen full of emails. [color=salmon]“This isn’t me worrying too much or due to my unwillingness to act–this was because of [i]you[/i].”[/color] Bianca put her phone down, her own gaze dropping. [color=salmon]“I need to know if this is going to be a common occurrence or not,”[/color] Her words were softer. [color=salmon]“...because I don’t know if I can continue by your side if it is.”[/color] For a moment, Justinian stared at the phone, going over the details in his head, trying to think of when those had occurred, who had gotten hurt, why? He had been in control, he’d been trying his best to help and lead people out and. . . and it didn’t matter. Even right now, fidgeting and picking at the dim spot on his chest where the Incepta’s mark had glowed, he knew that much at least. It was chaotic, and while he had an advantage. . . he couldn’t account for everything his actions may have caused. Holes in the ground, misjudgements made on distance, shots fired wide by the soldiers. He’d acted rashly. [color=darkorange]“I will apologize to those who I have hurt, publically if need be or privately if they prefer. I’m not so stubborn as to ignore the consequences of my actions. But, I want to make something perfectly clear.”[/color] Justinian leaned forward, looking at his Templar with a gaze as hard as steel. [color=darkorange]“Do not pretend that you know me. That you have ‘stood by my side’ in any way besides physically being there.”[/color] [color=darkorange]“You are not my friend, you are my captor. I have played nice, I have acquiesced to you pulling me down and being the chains that keep me from doing the only thing I feel like I can do to prove I even deserve the Incepta’s gift.”[/color] His breath was picking up now, a mixture of anxiety and anger that he didn’t even know existed rising from the pit of his stomach. [color=f7941d]“You’re not the first one, not even the second, and if you left you wouldn’t be the last. Dame Irina does not give me ‘friends’ or ‘mentors’. She gives me handlers, and I’ve known it since I was a child. The first one tried to be my friend until I proved too much to handle so he left me. The second one tried to ignore me until I made a mess that got him fired.”[/color] [color=darkorange]“So if you want to leave me, go on ahead. But don’t say that it’s out of care for my own well being like you’ve taken the time to know anything about me.”[/color] Bianca waited patiently until Justinian finished speaking before she raised her hand to her chin, eyebrows furrowed together. After a few seconds, she seemed to realize something, giving Justinian a small giggle. [color=salmon]“I think you’ve misunderstood my words,”[/color] Bianca replied as she gave him a warm smile. [color=salmon]“What I spoke of was trust. In no way have I fooled myself into thinking we’re friends–especially when you refuse to give me the respect my position calls for. But that isn’t your fault, I should have worded that better, and for that I do sincerely apologize for being the cause of the misunderstanding.”[/color] She lowered her hand back onto her lap. [color=salmon]“You say that I am a shackle but I’ll remind you that I am performing my duty. But Dame Irina has reminded me that I’ve been too lenient with you–somewhat ironic considering what you’ve just said–and I thought that, until now, I have provided you with enough grace and respect to have earned the same. Regardless of how this relationship began, ultimately, I trusted you would do the right thing when the time came. I was clearly mistaken.”[/color] She remained affable, contrasting the warmth of her expression with the coldness of her words. [color=salmon]“I guess I’m glad to see where we stand now, at least,”[/color] She admitted. [color=salmon]“I expected too much. I won’t make the same mistake again, Your Holiness–and I promise I will follow my duty to the letter. And since you only see me as a handler, then I will make sure I act as such.”[/color] Justinian didn’t falter in his stance as Bianca laid down her perspective, eyes still locked with the templar’s as she spoke her intentions. It irked him, how she was managing to keep her cool. It irked him that he was such a fidgety, irritable mess without the Incepta’s gift. He wanted to lash out, to throw something, to just gain some measure of control at this moment. Anything to feel less. . . lost. The door creaked again, a long, pained sound that almost made him glance towards the foyer, but he resisted the effort. He couldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing him crack right now. A moment of silence filled the air as the two looked at each other, Justinian gripping at his chest as if it was paining him. [color=darkorange]“To the letter, huh?”[/color] The response was calm, despite how he felt. [color=darkorange]“Then I promise you, Dame Bianca, to put those words of yours to the test. Because while my actions at the party today were rash, that the attack happened at all is proof that I can’t trust the Church to protect me. That the Church can protect [i]any[/i] of us. One of your peers already failed my friend, who you convinced me to not help.”[/color] [color=darkorange]“Maybe I could’ve done something? Maybe not. Maybe I’d be dead too, and you’d have another new scion to induct in a few months time, just like our dear Sir Tyler. But it would have been something that I could’ve done instead of just . . . waiting.”[/color] His gaze seemed to glaze over, looking through Bianca. For a horrid moment he was back in that damn cellar. Praying. Hoping. Waiting. A deep breath dismissed the vision, but the agitation remained, pulling at every nerve. He reached for his magic, for the element that gave him his resolve and had wrapped him like a blanket for all his years, but it still didn’t answer him. [color=darkorange][i]Incepta above, why have you forsaken me?[/i][/color] Bianca let out a tiny sigh, shaking her head again as she rubbed her temple. [color=salmon]“You tend to miss the forest for the trees often, don’t you?”[/color] She asked, but she already knew the answer. [color=salmon]“You don’t need to trust the Church, the guards, the other Templars or Scions–what you needed to do was trust [i]me[/i]. You didn’t even give me a chance to properly defend you. Maybe things would have been fine if you did, ever consider that?”[/color] [color=darkorange]“Because I don’t. . . I didn’t need defending. I [i]wouldn’t[/i] if it had just been me and those bastards. I know how to wield the Incepta’s gifts properly, I wouldn’t have given them the chance to pull that stunt.”[/color] Anger worked its way back into his tone now, fingers gripping tightly into his shift’s fabric as he thought back to the events of the night. Bianca stared at Justinian. [color=salmon]“It wasn’t just you and them. It was you, them, and a hundred others,”[/color] She reminded him. [color=salmon]“And you clearly [i]don’t[/i] know how to use your gift properly since you ended up hurting the same ones you wanted to defend.”[/color] The brunette stood from her seat, grabbing her phone. [color=salmon]“If you’re too stubborn to see your fault in this, fine. I won’t waste my breath trying to get you to see what you’ve done wrong. In the future, I will just have to make sure to stop you by any means possible,”[/color] She stated. [color=salmon]“Now, if you don’t mind, I’m taking a shower before I go to sleep. I suggest you rest for the night as well.”[/color] [color=darkorange]“I told you the living room wasn’t going to make this any more pleasant.”[/color] Justinian muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair, wanting to bite back. He knew what he was doing, he had to but. . . people got hurt. He had more than a few thoughts about Bianca right now, but he didn’t think of her as one for dishonesty and it annoyed him. Everything annoyed him right now, in this room that was much too big and much too open. [color=darkorange]“Take the bed as well, for all I care. I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight anyway.”[/color] [color=salmon]“I can’t trust that you won’t try to escape while I’m asleep. I’m taking a couch, do as you please otherwise,”[/color] She said simply before disappearing into the bathroom. Justian clicked his tongue in response, but said nothing more. He waited till he heard the shower running before easing himself upwards and turning to the door. Just as he thought, it seemed to breathe and creak like an animal in pain. Now that he was focused on it, the accompanied sounds of skittering and crunching came back with full force as he approached it. When he was right in front of it again, he tried to will his hand to grab the handle. To dispel this damn trick of the mind, at least for tonight. There was [i]nothing[/i] there. He was fine. He was safe. He had control. He was fine. He didn’t. After a few minutes of standing there he gave up and turned away, falling onto the couch fully clothed and pulling one of the cushions over his head . . . and he prayed. In a low voice, he prayed for the Incepta to grace him with her touch once more. He prayed for those who he’d hurt to make full recoveries. To guard him against these terrors that bedevil him every night, to guide his friends who’d survived that night, for each Scion in turn (even Prince Lucas, much as he found him insufferable). Like a mantra, he prayed to fight off the phantoms his mind conjured, as he’d done since he was young. The whispers turned to thoughts when he heard the shower wind down, repeated over and over in the darkness behind his eyes.