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[right]Timestamp: WHAT IF, Afternoon before Beau’s party[/right]

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[sub][@AlteredTundra] [@LovelyComplex] [@Aces Away] [@BrutalBx][/sub]
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Hanging on the toilet, resting her head on her arm that laid out on the seat, and absolutely exhausted, Penelope Decker’s surroundings spun. She didn’t know what she ate to make her stomach this uneasy. The Reservation’s food never made her churn like this. She didn’t even eat that much today! All she did was walk into her best friend’s home and smelt onions. Before she knew it, she was rushing to the bathroom. Jade, Mordechai and Roddy had their theories but Poppy was being stubborn, refusing to believe them. Right now all she could do was focus on not moving or else she’d find herself puking her guts out.   

She wanted to die. 

The bathroom had makeup scattered all over the room, mostly the sink but in a weirdly neat way. There was no surprise there though. That was Jade after all. Her soul sister. She was a chaotic being but she never failed to have a sense of order in her chaos. Her mess made sense, even to Poppy who knew her for years. To contrast, while Jade was all over the room, there were small glimpses of Roddy that Poppy found cute. He was a minimalistic man. He didn’t need much. 

On the sink, surrounded by Jade’s makeup, there was one deodorant that was clearly meant for a male, leaned up against the wall and his blue toothbrush in a ceramic cup next to Jade’s red. In the bathtub, he had his shampoo and body wash in the corner of the tub’s rim, and all the other shower shelves had Jade’s self care products. It was sweet how organized and simple Roddy was. All he needed was her and he loved that for them. 

Closing her eyes, Poppy steadied her breathing and her heartbeat, which was racing from the sudden displeasure of such a poignant scent. She couldn’t be sick. Beau’s party was today and there was no way she was going to miss it. Speaking of the party, she needed to text Charlie to make sure he didn’t forget his second book, the first copy of it, to give to Beau as a gift. To make sure he wrote something sentimental in it. Maybe she should text him to bring some meds to the party too. 

Grumbling, absolutely hating her life right now, Poppy opened her eyes and tried to reach for her phone which was on the sink counter. Sadly her body was against this decision. It only made things worse. Finding herself back over the toilet, she heaved the rest of what she ate today out of her body. Her eyes watered from the discomfort. 

Was this how it felt to die because she certainly wanted to die… 

Physically, she was barely able to stand and her body was shaking over this sensation. There was more to it though. This wasn’t just because she was puking. Puking was one thing. Everyone got sick but this was something more. She was scared and internally, emotionally, panicking. There was no way this could be [i]that[/i]. She and Charlie had talked about the possibility, what if, and when, but the plan was to start when they were in their thirties. Poppy wasn’t dumb though. One night not too long ago she surprised Charlie with a red dress that Maxine gifted her, wearing matching lipstick. She waited for him at Aponi’s Heart. It was the twins’ birthday. 

Winnie couldn’t drink because she was, or well is, [i]very[/i] pregnant with Kerry's second child and Ten kept sober out of paranoia that some ragtag gang would come and ruin the celebration. He was a lighthorsemen after all. When Charlie finally arrived, he couldn’t take his hands off her and it didn’t help they both got crazy drunk and partied with the Rez all night long. She would say until dawn but that wasn’t true at all. She remembered leaving the party when it was still dark out because Charlie wanted her all to himself.  And he did have her all to himself, for what felt like hours. 

Her face beamed red as she reached for some toilet paper to wipe her lips. No matter how many years passed, Charlie Decker gave her butterflies. He was hers and she was his and when they were together? Everything felt right in the world. She wasn’t going to think about that night though! There was [i]always[/i] a chance that this was just the usual stomach bug. She would keep thinking that until proven otherwise. There was no way she and Charlie were about to be… once Decky comes back from the convenient store, they all would be relieved that this was just a silly thought of theirs. Her denial shifted when she imagined getting a negative test and she found herself suddenly sad. Why was she sad? What the fuck did she want? 

[color=dc143c]“So Mitch was grabbin’ some nosh before goin’ on duty,”[/color] Decky grumbled as he blew through the doorway and crouched down in front of his smallest best friend, dangling the box with the test in it in front of her pale and sweaty face. His own face was a disgruntled and resigned in equal measure. [color=dc143c]“Ya wouldn’t believe the fuckin’ lecture I got about knockin’ Maya up straight outta college before I could even say it wasn’t for us. I swear he was about to make Maya and Sonny a monogamous couple until I had a chance to tell him it wasn’t for her. Jesus ya look like shit, have ya stopped pukin’ at all since I left?”[/color] He pushed some sweaty strands of hair away from where they had gotten stuck to Poppy’s forehead, tucking them behind her ear as she finally took the box from him before he stood back up and went over to the sink to rummage through Jade’s top drawer. [color=dc143c]“We should’a put your hair up before we left ya alone up here. Sorry ‘ bout that, Angel,”[/color] His hand emerged from the drawer victorious, a thin black hair tie in his grip. [color=dc143c]“Want me ta put it up now?”[/color]

[color=fe6f5e]“That’s fine,”[/color] Penelope quietly responded, exhaustion washing over her. She didn’t move much, letting her body hang over the toilet. Her stomach was settling down, or at least she hoped it was. As Mordechai gently ran his fingers through her sweaty hair, Poppy stared at the wall, contemplative and deep in thought. She didn’t want to believe she was pregnant. A baby would change the dynamic that Charlie and she had. A dynamic she worked extremely hard to keep, making sure he was happy. She worried a child would ruin her happily ever after. Her perfect dream where her world was Charlie and the world was everything to her. While Charlie wasn’t as bad as he used to be, when they were younger, he still fought the chaos in his mind daily. With how his father went out, she had no doubt that fatherhood was the last thing on his mind. As Decky played with her hair, which she found oddly soothing, Poppy whispered, [color=fe6f5e]“What if he leaves me…?”[/color] Always concerned about him even if right now she could barely stand up without releasing what was left of her lunch.

[color=dc143c]“Then I’d have him tracked down and I’d kill him, Jade would too, and Max. Hell that may make Danny go in for a few licks, ya know you’re his favorite,”[/color] Decky answered in a serious tone as he took his time to gently soothe Poppy’s head before he had to pull all her hair back. [color=dc143c]“I don’t care what dumbass freakout Charlie’s gonna have over this, he can damn well do it here with the people that love him. Of course he’s gonna be scared, this is a scary thing,”[/color] He reasoned, finally pulling all her hair together until it was in a neat but loose bun. [color=dc143c]“But you’ll figure it out together, and your friends will be here for ya when ya need us.”[/color]

Jade had remained quiet but observed. She took in Decky’s rambles. They were chaotic but with a purpose, of course. As they’ve always been. She took in Poppy’s worry and fears about how Charlie might react to these new developments. She could understand that. She knew change was scary. Changes in the life you were used to were bound to shake you to your core. Jade understood that more than anyone. She felt similar feelings about Jane at one point, but there came a point where she accepted the changes and not only made peace with it, but Jane was her sister. Just as Poppy was. Nothing about that would change nor will there ever be a possibility of changing.

Jade was wearing a simple outfit that consisted of a pair of deep red booty shorts that showed off her pale, slightly toned legs and a Gallows shirt that nearly covered the shorts in their entirety, pieced together after she got home from her day at work and pulling together what she felt was a solid playlist for the party tonight. [color=e62020]“For once, Decky’s right,”[/color] the angel princess teased. She caught his glare and she stuck her tongue out in response. [color=e62020]“Change is a hell of a thing, Pops. But he’s a pussy if this is the thing that makes him leave. Charlie is a lot of things. Sensitive. Better with words than any of us will ever be, but a pussy?”[/color] Jade shook her head, disagreeing with the notion she spoke into existence. [color=e62020]“He’s not gonna leave. And if he thinks about it, I’ll have the Chains and his whole gang tie Charlie up until he sees to reason.”[/color] In that, Jade was only half-joking. Half joking to tying him up, but not necessarily joking about calling the boys to invoke some real fear into that writer best friend of her’s.

[color=D2D518]“You guys really are quite dramatic.”[/color] Roddy was on the other side of the door, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. Thanks to his now long term relationship with Jade, he had become somewhat of an unofficial member of their quartet. Yet he also knew his place and was very conscious of the divide between him and the others. They had grown up together hard, they were bonded by blood and broken bones and held together with spit and the dirt from the train tracks. He was a Foundling, sure he wasn’t a Scott Street baby but there were streets and buildings in town named after his ancestors. He had always been very clued into that and hated it. 

[color=D2D518]“Charlie’s a good guy. Sure he had his demons, I mean don’t we all but the guy I know wouldn’t run away if this is what we think it is. If anything, not having a dad would make him want to be a better one. I can already hear the killer bed time stories he’d write for the kid.”[/color] As Roddy prepared to open his mouth again, he paused when the smell of burning pierced his nostrils. [color=D2D518]“Oh shitsticks! the sausages are burning. Fuck.”[/color] He tore off down the corridor towards the kitchen. 

It was moments like these when Jade was reminded so painfully clear, like a street in darkness illuminated by an endless amount of neon light sounds straight from the 80s. His ability to emote genuine emotion and support always made her smile and then immediately scowl when people suggested he was a robot. She knew personally that he wasn’t. Not in just the way he touched her when they were alone, but by his actions. His words came from a genuine place and she loved him for that. She loved him for every flaw he had in his soul. 

And even more than ever, she was reminded of another reason why she loved him. When he got into a groove, he phased out of whatever he was doing beforehand. Such as forgetting about the sausage he was cooking.

[color=e62020]“That boyfriend of mine. It’s a wonder he hasn’t put a bun in my oven too,”[/color] Jade mused as an afterthought, watching Roddy prance away to the kitchen. 

She refocused on Pops and Decky, realizing that maybe she suffered from the same shortsightedness that her love did. She chuckled internally at the thought. [color=e62020]“So you see, I don’t think you need to worry about Charlie skipping out on you and little mister or misses Charlie Jr. And if he does--”[/color] Jade grinned a mischievous grin at Decky, placing her hand on his shoulder. [color=e62020]“Our previous promises remain.”[/color] It was a joke…partially a joke, anyway. 

Heh. Poppy bit her cheek, glancing at all those that were supporting her. She had wonderful friends. That is one thing that would always stay true. 

Maybe she was worrying too much. 

Maybe Charlie would be okay with all this.

Maybe they’d be wonderful parents. 

Maybe this would make Charlie feel complete and utter happiness. The kind Poppy believed he deserved. The kind where there was no doubt in her mind he was at peace.

Maybe…

Sitting up a little, but not moving too much, with Decky still holding onto her hair, Poppy reached out to the air, [color=fe6f5e]“Give me the fucking stick.”[/color] She grumbled in uncomfortable pain before softly commanding, [color=fe6f5e]“Decks, unless you want to watch me pee, you probably should go.”[/color] Looking up at her soul sister, with her big, brown eyes, Pops pleadingly pouted, [color=fe6f5e]“Jade, can you stay with me? Please?”[/color]

[color=e62020]“You know I could never say no when you look at me like that.”[/color] Jade clapped her hands together, motioning for Decky and the door. [color=e62020]“You heard our Pops! No boys allowed!”[/color] She commanded in a very Jade Taylor way. She stared at Decky, knowing he was likely worried. [color=e62020]“Don’t worry. I got this, Decks,”[/color] she assured him with a confident smile.

Knowing she’d clocked his hesitance and appreciating the assurance, Decky finally finished wrapping the elastic around Poppy’s bun from where he’d paused at Jade and Roddy’s arrival. He looked between his Angels and let them see his own nervous smile for a moment before he changed it into a smirk and rolled his eyes. He raised his hands and moved towards the door, giving Poppy the space she needed while also pulling his phone out and hitting the speed dial for the fourth in their quartet. Poppy may be in denial about what this was, but Decky knew, and so did Jade, and their smallest friend would want her husband here as soon as possible when the double lines appeared on that stick.

[color=dc143c]“Fine, I’ll go join the sausage fest in the kitchen then, see if we can salvage anythin’.”[/color] He closed the door behind him, taking a deep breath as the line rang and making his way down the corridor to the kitchen where Roddy was doing his best. He’d just grabbed the tray of burnt meat and moved it out of the way of Roddy’s rapid movements when Charlie finally picked up on the other side.

[color=dc143c]“Hey, everyone’s okay and safe, but Poppy’s gonna need ya as soon as possible, brother,”[/color] He spoke into the phone, grabbing a mit with his other hand and moving the hot pan out of Roddy’s way as well when he noticed the man almost burn himself on it. [color=dc143c]“Maybe pick up somethin' nice for her on the way.”[/color]

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