[hr][center][h3]Neir Slums — Dilapidated Shack[/h3]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/JhorTIT.png[/img]
《 Level 1 Tsukkomi 》
[@ERode][@TheMushroomLord][@PKMNB0Y][/center][hr]
[quote]"You're one of Cassius'... Erm... Acquaintances, correct? Could you bring this bastard to the guards at the gate?"[/quote]
Connor stumbled out of the doorway of the shack, flinching in the bright light, then recoiling in horror as he saw the stump of the hooded man's leg. And the rapidly growing pool of blood.

"You mean [i]before he bleeds out from his femoral artery[/i]?!" he said, his voice breaking at the high point as he gestured with both arms at the empty air where a second boot should have been. "Somehow, I don't think so!"

And yet, the next squelch of blood that escaped from the leg was slower. There was an odd sound, like someone sucking a straw in an empty glass, and before Connor's eyes the bandit's wound started to close of its own accord. There was no light show. It was hard to see through the gore still covering the stump, but it almost looked as if [i]worms[/i] were crawling underneath the man's skin, pulling against it like drawstrings to close the muscle and flesh around the stub of bone...

"Did you [i]know[/i] that was gonna happen!?" Connor pointed at the body-horror as he turned towards the cat girl, his expression wide eyed with shock and disgust. But she was already heading in another direction---wait, where was Cassius? Why had she been fighting with this guy in the first place? Had something happened?

The Slime sent him a message, asking the same thing. As Connor paced around the unconscious man, trying to figure out how best to proceed, he composed an answer. But as he did so, he noticed an unusual typo. [i]Did Up do something?[/i]

Could they even [i]have[/i] typos, given the nature of this communication? Did the slime mean [i]did U do something?[/i] instead?

[quote][code]Contact: Slime
Ye, smth happened, but OK now! Guy was fighting w/ catgirl, came into the shack like he was gonna start something. I threw Caliboard at him, but then catgirl cut off his leg, and now she wants me to try and drag him to the guard station. Apparently he's not gonna die, but it's still really gross.

...

...Do you wanna try to eat the leg?[/code][/quote]

Connor looked at the limb where it lay on the road. It wasn't twitching or anything. God forbid it start growing a new body for itself. Then he looked back at the hooded man, who was still just laying there.

At least he wasn't ragdolling out or clipping into the environment or anything. Status screens, monsters, and magic he could handle. Glitches in reality, [i]those[/i] would be much more existentially concerning. Although, now that he was thinking about video game NPCs being ragdolled...

Focusing his mind like he did with the Status Window did not open a "looting menu" where he could simply press "take all" and immediately leave the man in only his underwear. Crap, he had to do it manually. But this guy had been about to attack them, and had lost a leg for it. Right of conquest or something, yeah?

It was easy enough to undo the cloak's clasp near the man's collar, and then just start yanking it out from under him. It was covered in dirt, blood, and something absolutely foul-smelling that Connor did not want to talk about, but it was a black, tattered cloak. Clean it off---maybe with the slime's help---and it would be baller.

There was also a bandolier of throwing knives. He had to work it and slide the belt around until he could get to the buckle, but he took that too. But even though he now had some actual weapons, one couldn't forget their humble roots. He fastened the bandolier over his own chest, and then hooked Caliboard to it by the nail sticking out of its end. The cloak, for the moment, was rolled up and stashed back inside the shack.

[quote][code]Contact: Slime
The catgirl said her name was Meira, and if what Cassius said about her being an adventurer holds up, it's probably safe for me to do as she said. I'm gonna try and get info from the guards. But while I'm gone, you should try to hide, okay?

I dunno if you've already figured out how to move or not, but maybe imagine yourself as like...a train? Saw a video once about how Japanese metros were like slime molds, moving efficiently between food nodes/cities. Maybe make a bunch of cilia like treads underneath you?[/code][/quote]

If the slime did indeed want to eat the formerly hooded man's leg, Connor would use Caliboard (he wasn't gonna touch it, ew) to flip it over to them. Otherwise, he would take the still-legless, still KO'd hostile under his arms (cringing the whole time as he looked down at the man's bruised face) and start dragging him towards the guard station Meira had indicated...

[hider=CONNOR'S DISCOVERIES][list][*][b]Acquired "Shitty Cloak!"[/b]
[*][b]Acquired "Knife Bandolier!"[/b]
[*]"Caliboard, the Holy 2x4."
[*]Learned "Push!"
[*]Learned "Cut!"[/list][/hider]