@Qoqo Bob Blobson
Gus moaned "Hun, man. It's too hot. I'm supposed to keep the power down in my burger with my sweat... It's just too hot to move, man... Not as much as the sun, though..."
As Gus stood up, he bent over to grab a full bag of beanbag chairs from the other car. He looked over and saw a fat man fumbling around on the ground. Gus felt embarrassed for being stared at by the man, but he was glad that Fieri was helping him. The man puked up mucus. Gus could see his body heat visibly swaying as he wiped himself with a toilet seat.
Gus stood up and threw the bag of beanbag chairs over his shoulder. "Thanks, man, for the help. I'm going back to the campsite now, for fluids..." Gus walked away as fast as he could.
Gus laughed a little bit. He stood up and tried to toss the beanbag chair over his shoulder, but his legs felt like they were going to explode. Gus fell down, and the man's head turned slowly towards him. Gus tried to stand up. His legs looked like they had been cut open with acid, and he started having diarrhea. His legs collapsed on top of him. Gus smiled and giggled as the fat man looked at him in horror. Gus gasped as a river of fluid began to run down his leg. Gus looked around, trying to find the fluids he needed, and smiled at Bob Blobson when he saw him coming in the distance with water in his hand. Gus could smell the chemicals from the water bottle as it flew over his head. Bob grabbed Gus's hand and held it over the bag of fluids. Gus knew it was time for him to leave. He looked around, and his face flushed.
Gus stood up as quickly as he could. He looked around, and began to panic. Bob was standing on the side of the road, waving at him. "Gaayag tultroia qeqe wichto dwop ka!", Bob said as he waved his hand to tell Gus to come back. Gus laughed a little bit and asked Bob if he knew where he lived. Bob pointed back in the direction he had come from. Gus smiled, and walked away. He closed his eyes as Bob yelled "OIL!"
Bob's voice woke him up. Gus stood up and looked over the side of the road. Bob was staring at him from his campsite, holding a towel over his body. Gus told Bob that he would go back to his campsite, but he needed something first. Bob looked around, and saw Gus's suitcase at the edge of the road. Bob had so much diarrhea that his stomach looked like it was going to explode. Gus laughed and said "You're a diarrhea dude... Your diarrhea, your diarrhea..."
Bob looked over the side of the road again and looked at Gus's suitcase. Bob smiled a little bit and kicked it over the side of the road. It was going to take a whole truck full of shit to fit the suitcase.
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Part 2
Eggplant comes in from the alley with his mouth full of shit. He looked at Gus, as Blob pushed his jar of mayo in between the ice cream truck's other tires. Eggplant looks at Gus and says "I think we all know what this is about, so let's get the hell outta here."
Blob walks up behind Gus and says " yegdama dlaya smodya yasasya twusma paswombi gsegwi wudila tpana sigsanu pupagena skadwila lakudwu dyagwa lisu nokpa betyakwe dipahegu."
Trying to give him a hint, Eggplant translates what Blob says with his mouth full of shit. " I know what this is all about. Now I am not going to tell you, but I want you to know that you have offended me."
In a final attempt to buy Gus some time, Blob continues his rant. " You have offended me. I will not allow any living thing to be offended, and no living thing should be offended by my existence."
Gus, not wanting to press the issue any further, lets Blob finish before he kicks him out. Blob stops talking for a moment to try and let Gus finish, but Gus refuses to respond to his rudeness. With one minute and 42 seconds left on the timer, Gus picks up the phone and dials 911.
Gus (distractedly) dials 911 and says "This is a local non-emergency phone line. I am having a dispute with a coworker who, for some reason, is insisting that I am gay. Could you send the special police unit to my house to take care of this problem?"
Gus hangs up the phone. Blob notices this and sharts next to the ice cream truck.
"Bruh, dis mess is a yuga issa shulaa homas."
"Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser."Gus replies
In other news, a week later, apparently the police have not arrived, and Blob has chosen to follow through with his threat. Using only his "thought powers" and a jar of mayo, Blob decides to tackle Gus.
Blob had awoken from a deep sleep. He sat up in his bed, and noticed that the dream he was having was not a dream at all. In the dream, Blob was at the basement door of Gus' house.
In the dream, Blob was trying to force his way into Gus's house, and was being forcibly held back by an angry eggplant. Blob was at a loss for words, and was unable to respond to this as the door to Gus's house suddenly opened.
When Blob entered the basement, he immediately saw the shit truck and Gus behind the wheel. Gus looked at Blob, and smiled.
"Fuck yeah, you did not get offended!"
Gus looked back at the camera. "Anyone who exists is a fucking pig! I am a pig, and you are a pig! Everyone is a pig! FUCK YA"
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