Recent Statuses

31 Mar 2017 18:14
Current ...well then have a nap. THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES


Just a humble born Canadian, who has been roleplaying and writing for over 15 years, looking to scratch the creative itch and write glorious sci-fi stories of war and peace!

Not much more to say here, really. I suppose I could fill it in with all sorts of info, but who really reads these?

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In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately
In GAME: Crush A Wish 27 Apr 2017 18:21 Forum: Spam Forum
Granted, but as the wish genie has no clue what you are talking about, you are now Karamazov's brother, a stinking lizaveta.

I wish for my wish to be corrupted.
In Hey 27 Apr 2017 18:19 Forum: Spam Forum
And everyone does their part.
With a flash of Cherenkov radiation and transdimensional photons, the diplomatic cruiser Olive Branch emerged from hyperspace and made rendezvous with the pirate warships. An assault shuttle launched from the Acheron and docked with the Envoy's vessel, and immediately began negotiations under the watchful guns of the Fleet battlecruiser and pirate vessels.
The Envoy's assistant kept Stardust informed of their progress, as minutes dragged into hours.
"They aren't budging from their original demands," she told Stardust. "Independence of the Dellar system and legitimacy & recognition of their 'republic.' Nothing the Envoy is offering is having much effect; you'd better be ready to move soon, Admiral."
The Dellar system, along Sirius Sector's outer limits, housed a colony of several million humans led by a dictator in all but name; several peacekeeping efforts were underway between said dictator and two independent rebel groups demanding greater representation in the planetary government. Though unconfirmed, there was evidence of humanitarian war crimes and widespread starvation among the colony's cities and towns.
"Acknowledged," Stardust replied.
"The assessment over here is that they are buying time for something else to happen," she added. "Be on your guard."
"No problems there," Stardust said. "Battleaxe, out."
Terminating the connection almost as an afterthought, Stardust had been closely watching three pirate cruisers slowly drifting into new orbits away from their fellows. Plotting their trajectories put them passing over the three largest trade ports and their anti-space defenses.
At their present altitute, all ships in the area were well within range of several orbital defense batteries on the surface, yet none had opened up. Indeed, scans indicated they were still fully operational. And yet a large pirate force had negated Central's orbital defense platforms and driven the militia squadron off... or destroyed them entirely.
Yet they would reach optimum range in less than twenty minutes; it was also the best position from which to launch kinetic impactors or nuclear bombardment projectiles and decimate the cities.
Something's not right, here, Stardust thought.
"Tactical!" he barked. "Track these three cruisers. Warm up the forward batteries and load all torpedo tubes with standard packages. Stand by to engage on my order."
In GAME: Crush A Wish 25 Apr 2017 11:53 Forum: Spam Forum
Granted; anything you desire becomes reality. But you quickly tire of life and are found dead two months later in a palatial mansion, surrounded by mountains of chocolate chip cookies.

I wish for an itty bitty living space.

Points to anyone who can name which Disney movie my last two wishes were from.
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