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5 mos ago
Current @SaltSight Game was Astlibra: Revision. Found it on sale bundled with another game I've been wanting so I gave it a shot and got like, straight indie JRPG of the early 2000s injected into my veins.
3 likes
5 mos ago
Hate that strange ennui that hits after 100%'ing a really, really good game. Good time was had, but man am I glad it can't mess my sleep schedule up anymore.
6 likes
2 yrs ago
Rich people blood sports is how the Oscar's should always have gone. As a hot blooded american man I cant sleep at night without witnessing violence of some kind.
3 likes
2 yrs ago
So true. Anyways, play Lancer!
2 yrs ago
Final Fantasy: Stranger in Paradise is the funniest shit I've ever seen while also not being a bad game. Just crack open some cold ones with the boys, blare Limp Bizket, and Kill Chaos.

Bio

No longer an asshole!

Most Recent Posts


Liliana





Eula


@Enkryption(CAR/ALI), @Rezod92
Eula was quiet throughout Dinah's explanation, silently compiling whatever information she possibly could. Their banishment, and memory loss...likely came from coming into contact with Wonderland's spell, enforcing the promise once more. But that did leave one major thought in her head:

...Why were they panicking so much?

Lilim, demons, and all contract based magic as far as she knew had to be incredibly specific in wording, there was no rule against returning early, just that they couldn't. Not that it would void the concept of the exile. As such, Eula would lean forward and delicately push an index finger against Carroll's forehead, before she then curled back her middle finger to flick her in the forehead. "...Both of you seem to be misunderstanding the exile. You just have to wait one year longer, correct? Win then, after a year. Train. Learn. Study the weakness of Lilim's. And this time, I will come as well. That should even the odds somewhat."

Liliana


[@Breakthrough Crew]
With everyone now gathered, Liliana let out a sigh of relief and let loose a big grin to follow it up. Even still...something didn't sit right with her.

...Oh. Right. The prisoners...she'd had to bury her disgust at seeing how grievously the Varjans had wounded virtually every prisoner. It reminded her of the time her wing had been clipped on a thorn, and she was so scared to show the Queen that she cried alone for six days, until Rosebud dragged her out to get healed. She was just a little fairy back then, and Rosebud had bloomed a month before her. Even if they were born to be Bladeflowers, there was always a swathe of difference...especially since Liliana was born at the bottom of the pecking order. Liliana, the Thirteenth and most cowardly Bladeflower, who always had to be helped by the strongest Rosebud. It was comical, and Liliana knew she was slowing her sister down but...

She was still never abandoned. That hand was always outstretched to her, wanting her to do better. And, well, Lady Alice was a bit...odd, kooky even, but she was a lot like Rosebud. Maybe they'd even be friends. And right now, Liliana had to think to herself: "Is just...fighting the best I can do to help Shizuyama?"

Smiling, Liliana would hold Whimsy in her hands and turn to their Shizuka. "Shizuka, um, I might sort of be useless for a bit after this, so...please, carry me back," Liliana said before raising her sword skyward. "Pretty please with sugar and sprinkles on top, Whimsy! Greater Healing! Take as much as it takes to do it!" Liliana's plea would cause the sword's eyes to roll if it had any, the faint green glow of the splinter sword growing bright and brighter, until small motes of green light started to fall from the sky, drifting slowly towards the prisoners who'd been maimed by the Varjans. Not one, not a single one would be left to mend their wounds themselves. It wasn't regeneration or restoration, but...for today, at least, she wanted today to be a complete victory. Their scars wouldn't ache, there wouldn't be promises of miracles unanswered before they left, and their wouldn't be trouble walking home. Whimsy was just spiteful enough that not a single one would grace a Varjan soldier, letting them taste their Just Desserts for as long as possible.

Collapsing backwards into the mud with a slightly pained expression, the fool of a fairy would shrink down, unable to maintain her Size Trick with her expended energy. Sinking just a little into the mud, Liliana smiled for as long as she held consciousness.

"Maybe...I could even go for the Fifth seat now...Rosebud...Lady Alice..."


Whimsy's glow faded, the sword itself seeming rather exhausted from the effort as it lay beside its master, both in idle slumber...a snot bubble even forming as Liliana snored on in the mud.


Eula


@Enkryption(CAR/ALI)
With the taste of the cursed sword still on her lips, Eula was in an unusually good mood until she felt the familiar presence of that fused form of Carroll and Alice zoom by, her eyes immediately returning to their usual melancholic gaze. "...I did say I believed in her but...isn't that a bad thing to see so soon after!?"

Shaking her head, Eula would follow the newly christened Dinah into the woods, nowhere near as fast, but still able to utilize her stun guns to augment her speed with small bursts of demonic energy output. She'd fail to arrive to see Dinah separate once more into her two halves, but was just in time to surprise Carroll by appearing from behind a tree, looking down at her and Alice for a moment, before suddenly sweeping her new lover off of her feet, beginning the trek to the temple once more...and, also, carrying Alice over her shoulder while letting Carroll ride in the crux of one arm strong enough to lift her. "...Just so we're clear, if you lose control of that form again, I'll shoot to incapacitate. Then make you eat 100 shrimp onigiri if you forget me again."

A miniscule pout donned Eula's stoic face, giving the slightest indication that she was just the teensiest, wittlest bit mad about them rushing out in the middle of nowhere and winding up exhausted.

Liliana


[@Breakthrough Crew]
With victory secured, the human-sized Liliana couldn't help but puff her chest out proudly, holding Whimsy across her shoulders while her wings flapped, much like a dog's tail wagged when they were pleased. Ayu had definitely helped a ton but...finally, Liliana hadn't completely needed someone's help to win out here! The Varjans shattered without their leadership, and Ayu began to rally the people behind the task force, showing how powerful they were by uh...lets say "embellishing". Though, she had no doubt Gringor could probably break a ship in half by hitting it, or Io could do a big magic on one. Still, Liliana was yucking it up as praise flooded in, a happy blush covering her face as she lost her composed look and bashfully scratched the back of her head. "O-Oh please, please, no bowing! We're heroes, we do this because its the right thing!"

When Shizuka asked how she was, Liliana looked over herself and realized she was covered in mud, had a decent bruise on her face from that Varjan warrior socking her a good one, and overall looked like she'd been through the ringer...but, she felt fantastic. "Couldn't be better, Shizuka!" she exclaimed, before seeing the others emerge from the manor. "I just hope everything wasn't too hard on your end. You should have seen it! I was in a huge amount of trouble, but Ayu swooped in and was like, P'choo! Fwick! And bam, Varjans were dropping left and right, and then I was shooting spells like Wunanananana!" Liliana mimed the events out, eager to show how her and Ayu had beaten a lot of Varjans with just the two of them.

"And even before that, my Summon Cow spell summoned a really big strong guy! A minotaur! I bet he was the strongest minotaur ever, because he was shredding the barracks apart just by swinging his huge axe! It was like BAM! And I was like 'Now's my chance!' and I took out a half-naked guy who I used the Heavenly Strike on! That training paid off!" Liliana finally finished rattling on, panting from how out of breath she was saying all that before looking up, happy as could be. "But I know I made Queen Titania proud today! When Alice hears about this, she'll probably say like: 'Oh my!' And...other...royal things. But I can't wait until she comes back!"


Eula



The automaton returned, a melancholic look on her face before Takeshi spoke to her about her mission with Lady Sorae. For now, perhaps she should speak to Ayu privately before informing Takeshi about the map and Sorae's suspicions. "It went well. Varjans had captured her, but we freed her and received some useful information. But, we still need to verify the validity of it. ...E-Excuse me, Lord Takeshi. I'm running low on fuel," Eula said, unable to disguise a digital *BEEP BEEP* that announced Eula's stomach being emptied, the automaton hanging her head slightly and scooting away quickly, wanting to get a bite to eat.

Simple food was all one could expect in times of hardship, if any food at all. As such, Eula wasn't expecting the delightful pop of a pickled plum in her mouth as she bit into an onigiri, her dull eyes shimmering a bit as she analyzed every facet of the food before her. Salt, carbohydrates, caloric count, starch, water used to make the rice, where the binding seaweed was from...all of it was laid out as data points in her eyes, but what mattered the most was the how of the taste. Cooking was all ratios, after all. A teaspoon of salt, a dash of passion, and the heart to make something delicious. ...Right...heart...

Eula held a hand over her chest, remembering that memory Carroll shared with her. That breakfast of western staple foods, pancakes, bacons, eggs, sausage, potatoes...it had been a long time since she'd tasted what affection felt like. Her first friend, the adventurer that found her, he had broken bread with something as simple as hardtack and wine, but the campfire flavored everything at the start of Eula's life.

Clutching a second riceball in her hand, Eula would look at it and stand, wandering off to find Carroll. ...Perhaps...she was hungry too.
"They were clear about room and board, and that will suit me just fine," Zeta said, finishing her cup with a satisfied look of peace on her face before she shoved the dirtied cup back into her stomach cavity, climbing out once the shutter door closed. "Thinking about it, if the coffee here is terrible, I could always just plant my own."

Then, a cool dude on a cool bike with a wicked aura arrived, the air becoming so tense that one could cut it with a knife. Stiffening her joints, Zeta would subconsciously move to threat assessment mode, left hand slipping inside of her sleeve to be replaced with the rim of a turbine, a chunk of ice starting to condense as her eyes lost a bit of luster. A threat so soon, she thought, before the warrior removed his hood and...

It was a human? Some guy? A convenience store worker!?

"Ah," Zeta said, before raising her hand in the air and firing a sizeable chunk of ice straight up into the air above her, following it with her eyes. "...Mm. Mhm. Mm...nobody should stand here for the next, say, two minutes or so, just in case it doesn't melt all the way down," Zeta warned, crouching down and marking an X about half a foot away from where she'd fired the ice chunk. With that gag out of the way, she'd appraise the suddenly-less-impressive-convenience-store-worker as well as the few others gathered. "Backpack...Fluffy Beggar...Porc...customer service worker..." she quietly listed on one hand, a digit going up for each, then a fifth for herself. "Mm. Five of us. We're all going to die."

After that dreadfully pessimistic statement, Zeta would impatiently bounce on the heels of her feet, feeling her fuel source give her the usual rush that made it just a smidge hard to stand still.
Hector Wyland


@PaulHaynek

Hector didn't dare to speak out of turn as the inspectors got their eyefull, culminating in them announcing full inspection of the tower's facility, and a new test for the Reavers. Even though his body was miserably aching, the marksman didn't think twice about jumping on the church's orders. After all even if he hadn't been to church in a while, he was still a Licsuhianite. Still, he felt a bit relieved once the inquisitors' eyes wandered elsewhere. When Ruecian spoke of wanting to give Hector a rest, he would roll his left arm and say: "Despite the uh, screaming you may have heard while training me, I'm tougher than I look."

Then came Einer's words, which surprised Hector a bit. While he knew Einer was a bit on the weaker side, the effeminate magus had thrown hands in a fit of rage, pummeling one of those brigands the other day. "Frailty can be solved with due time and effort. Besides, I imagine you're a fair bit better at magic than I am. Half of Ruecian's training was having me focus under pressure...which, usually meant casting while being under attack. Everyone has different strengths to train, and I imagine your's would be obvious to him as well," Hector did his best to reassure Einer that it wasn't as if Ruecian ONLY threw glaciers at you for training. ...Just...that was most of it, too.

But, Hector wouldn't have much to get ready for, considering his rifle and his ammunition. Once he and Einer parted ways, he'd head to Elaine's office once he was sure that, by now, Inquisitor Grisha was done looking through her things. Knocking politely, he hoped that the alchemist would have something for the aches he was suffering, and...perhaps, to perform an examination of his emptied eye socket. It wasn't that he hadn't gotten help as soon as he was stricken, but...a certain level of paranoia and more than his share of nightmares had Hector constantly worried about corruption seeping from his eye.
"...Is this some kind of stupid joke!?"


The frustrated thoughts of the mechanical Zeta were privy only to herself, or those that saw the clear burning hatred in her eyes as she stared down the most infuriating thing imaginable...

"Stupid thing...find all stoplights my ass..." she grumbled, tapping away at her inter-dimensional ticket sign-in process. Captchas, the bane of mechanical beings and chatbots trying to swindle you out of your baking details everywhere, was rearing its ugly head as Zeta held up a sizeable line behind her.

"Um...Miss?"

"What!?" Zeta snapped, before the concierge at the wormhole station looked at her phone, before selecting the one stoplight she'd miss, solving the captcha instantly. "...Oh. Thanks," Zeta listlessly said, brusquely moving past as soon as the conversation was, by all social standards, "done", and pushed past the portal terminal to promptly fling herself to the realm of Hinomoto, but given that she could only afford the "Good Luck!" ticket, instead of manifesting safely somewhere on the ground, she was somewhere about...two miles above the meeting place.

But hey, that was a feature, not a bug, because now while she was plummeting well past the point of terminal velocity, she had plenty of time and cool air to make a nice cold brew! Spinning her arm-bound turbines towards the ground to gather some freezing air, humming to herself as her deadpan expression remained ever-present. At a point though, this was more like a flash brew with how she was adding pre-roasted beans inside her chest cavity to the water, managing to complete one entire cup of cold coffee before impacting so hard on the ground that a hole with her silhouette was cratered into the ground ten feet deep. Rising from it with one hand, then the other, Zeta would crawl out of the hole shaped in her image to look up at the gathered ensemble, including a sleepy looking kitsune, an orc with his cheeks stuffed, and a girl that was more bag than person in terms of her notable qualities.

"Zeta-108. I have arrived," Zeta said succinctly, sitting up, opening her chest cavity like the door of a fridge, pulling out a perfectly intact cup of iced coffee, and promptly sipping it as if it were tea. "My loyalty is contingent on this land's coffee supply. Just so you know."
Vivian


@AzureKnight(VRA), @Rezod92
Colorful language aside, it was good to see Vară regain a modicum of reason. Thankfully, with her senses returned, the demon noble thought to manifest her companion to assist Zeka, with Vivian haughtily tossing a lock of her frosty hair over her shoulder. "Just so you know, I will have to reprimand you for that skank comment. But that will come later. For now-Oh. You're here too now, little mouse," Vivian noted, before listening to Zeka's prompt for them to finish it.

"A sound suggestion," Vivian said, raising her rock-inlaid arm before hopping once, her legs turning to needlepoints that scored the ground beneath, covering them in a thick layer of frost before she leaned forward, surging along with her ice to match Vară's pace. With her demon companion's power, Zeka's magic, and her own speed, this would have to be the decisive climax of this battle.

Circling around Kazenosuke once, Vivian would raise one leg in a perfect split above her head, preparing to match her timing with Var's to deliver a two-pronged attack with no way out. It wasn't exactly a graceful sort of move, but this was her first time dancing not only with a swordsman, but as a trio with varying styles in a land she didn't know.


Matsuri



Surprised by her own freedom, Matsuri hurriedly moved to a better position to try and get a shot at the other Varjans, only to find that they'd already been routed. Just as she was starting to wonder if the shinobi had done this, a figure emerged from the heat's haze to...return her lunch.

Dumbfounded, Matsuri accepted it with both hands, ears twitching as she blinked a few times behind her mask. "...Eh?" she asked, before remembering that this was the packed lunch she'd left a few hours ago. Not an unwelcome returned gift, but she really hoped this shinobi woman wasn't starving herself for courtesy's sake. "Oh, right! I'm Matsuri," the inari said, lifting her mask to face the shadowed woman with her usual face. "Thanks for helping out there. I'm sorry about the forest, but...a-at least the fire should stop, once the two fires hit each other and run out of stuff to burn."

Before the shinobi would do that special ninja vanishing trick though, Matsuri would blurt out: "Oh and Takeshi couldn't come, he was busy dressing up as a miko! For...some reason. I didn't really ask." ...How terrible of a blunder would it be if she came all this way, searched all this time, and found the person she was supposed to only to part ways without saying the code phrase?

Liliana


[@Breakthrough Crew]
As expected, the Varjan fought dirty, with the intent to get Liliana dirty! Liliana would fly back in order to avoid the distraction, and...also because, ew, mud, and would instead fire back with a dirty trick of her own.

"Give it to 'im Whimsy! Please!" Liliana said, raising her sword and firing off a slash that would manifest her spell, forming into another tide of magma that quickly devoured the muddy water beneath as it surged towards the Elite foe, hopefully stopping him in his tracks. Liliana wouldn't drop her guard however, ready to begin her assault anew with Ayu backing her up.


Eula



"I will ask her when she returns, then," Eula said, ignoring the comments about her being incapable of hurting flies. Quite the opposite, really, a demonic energy stungun was lethal to beings that small. "Farewell, Lady Sorae," Eula said in parting, before she herself would start to return to the temple, taking a bit of a scenic route as she went along the way.

Parsing Query: Revenge's Purpose

Data Expunged. Re-parsing.

Access Denied. Please contact an administrator to access-

Eula would smack the side of her head to silence her internal voice, going from analytical to introspective, the buzz of digitized questions forming into more human thoughts. "Sorae's family...would revenge make them happy? Would it make her happy? ...Can...anything? Family...Carroll had a family, and she lost them too," Eula said, before raising the hand that Carroll had held hours ago, flexing the digits of it one by one. "Am I...somebody's family too?"

Eula didn't have an answer. The closest she'd felt to attachment to someone was the farmhand who'd taken her in, who grew old and died before her eyes. She'd smiled with such conviction when she said she loved humans, and yet...now, the Automaton wasn't sure what love was. It was something warm, brilliant...the one in Carroll's dreams radiated it. Eula knew she didn't. Like comparing the sun to a warped reflection of it and expecting the same warmth. Her directive was altered at some point, to find love and yet...

"I fight against foes I can't kill, answer questions I am unsure of, and grasp hands that I have no right to hold. Someday, I'll leave this land...and...will I fight the same fights? Still have no answers?" Eula thought before shaking her head and hurrying back to the temple. There was no time to defeat her fears or answer them. She simply had to keep on fighting to liberate Shizuyama, in her own pacifist, hypocritical way.
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